I'm Just An Ordinary Man
by Gatergirl79
Summary: Three months after the events of V-Day, Eggsy is called to the Kingsman estate by Merlin. He expects to be sent on a mission, what he discovers is like a dream come true, but will it turn into a nightmare?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I've been shipping Hartwin since I saw Colin & Taron on the Jonathan Ross show, I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to see the film. – While at the same time wishing I'd never seen it because, _seriously_! I feel betrayed. Anyway, this is my way of dealing with the end of the movie. I hope you like it.**

 **And yes, the title is taken from My Fair Lady because how could I not?**

 **Warning for bad grammar and spelling. I have proof read this but undoubtedly mistakes will slip through, so if this is going to irritate you, please stop reading now.**

 **Also, this is a multi-PoV story, switching between Harry and Eggsy's point of view.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

He didn't know how it got there, where it came from, he really didn't, it just kinda popped in when he wasn't paying attention and now he can't seem to get rid of it. It's not just the aching guilt in his chest, it's the image of warm brown eyes fluttering in front of his own. – Even as he's buried ball deep in the princess of….wherever.

The worst part, he can't seem to focus on anything else. He's tried. God, has he tried. He's fucking royalty for fuck sake, he's living the fucking dream and yet, all he can think about right now is a dead man. – And isn't that like the largest, coldest bucket of ice water ever. There's no coming back from that, not now.

Eggsy pulled out with an almost animalistic and…broken groan, and it has nothing to do with suddenly losing his ardour. He dropped down on the end of the bed and let his head drop into his hands, the tears pooling in his eyes to dampen his palms. Obviously the adrenaline of the past forty-eight hours had worn off because now he's shaking slightly and the pain he'd been ignoring since hearing that gunshot is ripping though him in ways he hadn't expected. None of this is what he'd expected.

"What's wrong?" the Princess demanded petulantly.

He didn't bother looking back at her, he simply got to his feet silently and began to search for his clothes, his head reeling as he stepped into his underwear and trousers.

"What are you doing?"

"Dressin' what's it look like?" He snapped.

"What!" she practically screeched at him. "You can't…"

He turned slowly to regard the woman, she may have a tiara and a bank account he and his mum could only dream off but she's no better than the girls on the estate. "I can." He murmured stiffly. "And I am."

He can almost hear Harry telling him he's supposed to be a gentleman and he winces at the sound. Maybe if Harry had stayed around longer, he could have taught him how he's meant to brush off a naked princess moments after you've had your dick in her arse. But Harry didn't teach him that, _won't_ teach him that, because Harry went and got his damn self killed.

Eggsy snatched up his jacket furiously and thrust his arms in it like it was personally responsible for everything that had gone wrong in his life. – And in a way, he supposed, it had. He doesn't bother doing up his shirt, he just slips his feet into his shoes, grabs his glasses, which he doesn't put on and his tie which he also doesn't put on and marches towards the door, reaching for the handle.

"You cannot just leave!"

He scoffed, ducking perfectly as the Champaign bottle he'd brought in with him and hadn't touched was hurled at him, crashing into the door where his head had been. He turned to shoot the woman a hard look, then smiled and swooped into a bow. "Your highness." He murmured charmingly, though his tone held none of its previous warmth and flirtation. Then he yanked the door open and strolled out into the silent corridor decorated with blood and the headless dead.

"I will have you shot!"

He didn't so much as bat an eye lid, as he turned back to glare at her before slamming the door behind him.

Once he was alone and out of the view of her royal high and mighty, Eggsy stumbled back into the nearest wall, his back connecting with it hard. He slumped forward, his lungs fighting for oxygen as he closed his eyes, swallowing down a thick painful lump in his throat. He had no fucking idea what had gotten into him. He was losing his fucking mind.

He dragged his hand through his dishevelled hair and inhaled deeply, his head rolling back against the cold stone and his eyes closed. Only for them to snap open a second later, pain ripping though his chest at the instant replay of Harry's last moments.

Angrily Eggsy pushed himself off the wall, his eyes scanning the long corridor. Straightening his back he placed the arm of his glasses between his lips and began to fasten his shirt, slowly. He tucked the pristine white fabric into his trousers and started in on his tie. Every movement perfect and practised. He'd already let Harry down once, he wasn't going to do so again.

With his tie in place, he did up his jacket, dragged his still shaking hands through his hair and slid his glasses back onto his face. "Merlin?"

" _Finished already?"_ the older man said with amusement.

Eggsy ignored him and straightened. "What are we doing with all these missing VIP's?"

Merlin was silent for a few minutes before clearing his throat. _"I've begun contacting their various governments but that might take a while, seein' how many of them are currently trying to calm the chaos caused by Valentine's little adventure."_

Eggsy sighed warily. "Right. So what do we do until then? Are we just gunna let 'em rot?"

" _I… guess we should let them out. Try to get some order established until we can get a transport organised."_

"Then do that." He nodded, glancing back at the cell door. "Just wait till I'm, you know, back with you."

Merlin scoffed _. "Sorry, lad but someone's gonna to 'ave to unlock those doors personally."_

Eggsy groaned, scratching at the back of his head. "Great." He growled. "Then what?" He listened to Merlin think and chewed at the corner of his mouth, his fingers running over the medal hidden beneath his shirt.

" _Did you hear me?"_

"What?" Eggsy started. "Sorry…I….what was it you said?"

" _Send them thes way."_

"Okay." He nodded, turning around to face the room he hadn't long exited, taking a deep breath. With his back straight he stepped back towards the door, typed in the number and pulled it open. Surprised to see the Princess still sat naked on the bed and cringing when her eyes lit up. "You're highness, when you are ready would you please make your way towards the landing area." He bowed low and turned to leave, a discarded water bottle holding it open just a little.

"You….arrogant…"

He didn't hear what else she had to say about him, he simply moved on to the next door and then the next.

 __Hartwin__

The arrival area was choking with angry and confused celebrities and toffs, all demanding to know what the hell had happened and when they could go home. Merlin dealing with them all in a calm, professional manner though Eggsy could see the desire to just leave them and bugger off back to England for a nice cup of tea….or a scotch written in the lines around his mouth and eyes.

He pushed his way through the crowd, ignoring the insults and demands hurled at him as he climbed the steps back onto the plane. He made his way back to the leather chair he'd been camped out on during the flight and fell heavily into it, sighing warily. His head dropped back against the rest and as much as he tried to stop them, his eyes slid closed. Thankfully he wasn't greeted with the same painful vision he'd seen an hour or so ago.

He could feel sleep beginning to drag him down into its silent abyss and was happy to let it, when he heard the clearing of a throat and the shuffling of feet. Cracking open an eye reluctantly he stared up at Merlin, a warm grin on his face and a double scotch in his hand.

"Here, I think you deserved thes."

Eggsy pushed himself up straight and reached for the cut crystal tumbler. "Thanks." He nodded. "Everything….settled?" he nodded to the outside of the plane.

Merlin sighed, falling onto the seat in front of him. "Now I remember why I prefer working weth trainees." He murmured. "They follow orders and don't argue." He shook his head, sliding his glasses off his nose to rub at the bridge then to clean them with a handkerchief. "Thes is the first time I've ben out of the castle in almost a decade."

Eggsy settled back against the chair and sipped at the scotch. "Heard from Roxy?"

Merlin nodded, his head resting back against the warm leather. "She's already been picked up by the air force."

"Great." He nodded. "How's…everything else?"

"Chaos, especially since half the leaders of the free world and not so free world…" he scoffed. "…'ave ben found missing a vital piece of their anatomy."

Eggsy lowered his glass and stared down at it. "So…what now?"

Merlin shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. We've never had to deal with anything like this before. – The table will be called together." he sighed. "What remains of et anyway? We'll probably start lookin' for a new Arthur." Merlin raised his eyes to Eggsy. "Et probably would 'ave ben Harry but…" He added quietly.

Eggsy knows he filched, he felt it. "Well he's not here." He grumbled a little too angrily, then sighs regretfully and licks at his lips, raising his glass a little in a silently toast before throwing it back. He set the glass on the small table and looked at Merlin. "Do you need me for anything else?"

Merlin frowned. "No."

"Great, 'cause I need some fucking sleep." He pushed himself off the chair and ambled towards the back of the plan. "Call me when the cavalry arrive."

He doesn't hear Merlin's response, he doesn't care. He just wants to lose himself in the silence and peace of sleep and try not to think how fucked the world is from here on out.

 __Hartwin__

He'd been back almost two hours and he knows he should go home, check on his mum and sister, he'd called them but it wasn't the same as seeing them with his own two eyes and yet he'd found himself at Harry's house, a heavy weight in his gut as he let himself in with the spare key Harry had given him almost three days ago that he knows he shouldn't still have but couldn't quite give up for some reason. – And it wasn't like Harry didn't know, he wasn't dumb. He'd let himself in afternoon he'd flunked out of training, hadn't he?

He took a deep breath as he moved slowly through the house, retracing his steps to Harry's study. He paused in the door, staring at the desk. The same place he'd watched Harry's life be ripped from him. The tear started to burn at his eyes again so Eggsy turned away from the room and made his way slowly through to the sitting room instead. Shrugging out of his jacket he tossed it over the back of the sofa then yanked at his tie before pulling his glasses from his face and tossing them unceremoniously on the sideboard. He reached for the decanter and poured himself a large whiskey. He'd never really been one for spirits, a pint of best or a bottle of Carlin down the pub was more his style, but….well he'd had a hell of a week, the last couple of days being the worst of it.

Taking a sip from the glass he strolled over to the large couch and fell into it with a groan, his eyes closed once more. The visions of Harry's murder had subsided thankfully allowing his mind to rest in peace, much like the man himself. He dragged his hand through his hair and sighed, he didn't think he'd ever felt so fucked, not during basic training, not in years of gymnastics. He felt like every part of him ached and may never work again.

Eggsy let his gaze flicker around the room, it was nice, homely. Better than he could ever wish to own. He had no idea what happened now, with the Kingsman. Officially he'd failed training. Officially he wasn't one of them, but he'd saved the world. – Whether or not it deserved it and he sincerely began to doubt whether it did. Lemmings the whole lot of them. – Merlin had sent him home saying they'd be In touch with a small sad smile before he'd turned and marched away to deal with official secret business, Roxy standing at the end of the corridor with a sad regretful smile. She'd nodded at him and then hurried to follow Merlin.

Inhaling slowly, Eggsy took a longer sip from his glass and let his hand fall against his thigh, his eyes heavy and sore. Twisting around on the sofa he toed off his shoes and kicked his legs up to rest his ankles on the arm. Harry had sat in the exact same way when he'd brought him home the night before the final test. After he'd told shown him the house, told him about his adventures – Missions, Harry insisted on calling them. – He'd lead them into the living room, taught Eggsy how to make the perfect Martini, then made himself comfortable on the sofa, stretched out while Eggsy sat on the other chair and watched him, listening to him explain what it meant to be a gentleman.

The conversation hadn't lasted long, then they were just talking about nothing of any real importance, long into the night until Harry got to his feet, set his glass on the table and waltzed to the door, informing Eggsy over his shoulder that the spare room was ready at the end of the hall.

Pushing himself upright, Eggsy inhaled slowly, setting his glass on the exact same table Harry had, in the exact same place, then got to his feet. Taking one last look around the room, Eggsy headed up to the spare room with a heavy weight in his chest he just wasn't ready to deal with quite yet.

 __Hartwin__

Eggsy spent a week just ambling around Harry's house as if he belongs there. He'd stopped by to check on his mom the day after he'd gotten back, running into her before ever reaching the flat. She'd stood a few feet from him in the middle of the estate, giving him a once over before suddenly pulled him into a crushing hug, so tight Eggsy felt like he was a kid again. When they pulled apart, she looked him dead in the eye, smiling sadly and told him.

" _Get out of here Eggsy."_

He stared at her, heartbroken for a second before he realised what she was saying, get away from the life he'd had. That he deserved something better than West London and the Black Prince. He swallowed thickly.

" _Come with me."_ He whispered.

She'd shaken her head, soft smile in place and then leant forward to press a kiss to his cheek before walking calm as you like past him and back towards the block. That was when Eggsy made up his mind he'd get her out of there, one way or another, as soon as he had his life sorted. Surely the table would accept him as Harry's replacement, after everything he'd done. - So Eggsy had waltzed back to Harry's place to wait.

The next three days had felt like eternity, there was no call from Merlin or Roxy and it was damn near killing him. He couldn't even watch Telly 'cause Harry's too pompous and high-nose to own one it seemed. So instead Eggsy's entertaining himself with reading. He hasn't got anything against reading particularly, he's just never really had the time or the desire to sit down for hours. – It was hard enough dealing with the stick he got from gymnastics without the shit he'd get for being a bookworm too. Where he comes from it's just easier to be like everyone else, it saves on the trouble and pain of getting a kickin'.

He's half way through Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, – Because of course Harry brings his work home with him. And he's got a sneaking suspicion which one's the spy. – when the doorbell rings and Eggsy groans, dropping the book face down on the table he pushes himself off the sofa and strolls barefoot out into the hallway Doesn't even think about the fact that no one knows he's there, or at least no one meant to know. Doesn't consider that it might be someone for Harry, so one who doesn't know he's dead. He's wearing the pyjama pants Harry had lent him when he'd stayed over and his t-shirt from the day Harry had left.

It's not until he's reaching for the door, pulling it open cautiously, that he realises he doesn't actually have any right to be there and it could be anyone. Harry hadn't exactly given him a full biography, he had no idea if the man had parents, – Which obviously he had parents but were they alive? Did he speak to them? – Brothers, sisters, cousin? A girlfriend? He choked slightly at that thought for a reason he didn't want to analyse. What was the point?

He breathed out a sigh of relief when he found Roxy, _sorry_ _Lancelot_ , and Merlin on the doorstep. A smile instantly spread across his face and he stepped back to allow them in. "Hey. What you doin' 'ere?"

"We could ask the same of you." Roxy answered with a smirk before Merlin could say a word, smiling bright at him.

"Well it's great to see ya." He closed the door, ignoring her comment and followed them as they showed themselves into the living room, Merlin leading the way because obviously he'd been here before.

"You're still stayin' here?" the man asked, glancing around the tidy yet lived in room.

Eggsy cleared his throat awkwardly. "It's not like…." He cut himself off, taking a breath to dispel the anger. "I can't go home. I need to….calm the fuck down or I might do something I'll regret."

The pair nodded understandingly. Roxy took a seat on the sofa, tilting her head to glance at the book. "Tinker?"

Eggsy shrugged embarrassed. "Boredom." He replied a little too defensively. Old habits die hard as they say. "I suppose you'd like tea?" he smiled, looking between them as Merlin made himself comfortable on the armchair.

"Would be nice." The man nodded.

Eggsy returned the nod and slipped out of the room, taking a short stroll to the kitchen and grabbed the kettle, filling it from the tap before setting it on the stove. – Because of course Harry can't be a normal person and have an electric one can he?

Eggsy stands staring at the kettle for almost a minute before he remembered that old analogy about a watched pot and decides to rummage around in Harry's cupboards for some biscuits, because no British household would be without at least one packet of biscuits. He can hear the gentle murmured of voices from the other room but doesn't strain to listen.

True to form there was an unopened packet of Rich Tea, he'd have preferred hobnobs but what can you do?

Three minutes later and Eggsy strolled back into the living room with a tray of tea and a wary smile. Merlin and Roxy were sat heatedly talking in low voices that fell eerily silent when he reappeared. That fact made something in Eggsy's stomach cramp up tighter than tight. Setting the tray down, he took the space next to Roxy.

"I'll be mother." Merlin announced, shifting closer to pour the tea. "Oh Rich Tea? No hobnobs?"

Eggsy can't help but laugh and it feels good and bad in the same instant. He hadn't laughed properly in over a week. "Okay, what the fuck's going on?"

Roxy looked over at Merlin, who doesn't even flinch. "Huh…?"

Merlin handed over the tea, glancing up at the pair with a smile.

"Merlin?" Eggsy pressed as he took the cup. "What the fucks going on?" The older man didn't speak, he just finished making his tea. Eggsy gritted his teeth, his cup in his hand untouched. He glanced over at Roxy who remained just as silent and still. "For fucks sake, just _tell_ me yeah!"

Merlin looked up at him with a smirk. "The table met yesterday."

Eggsy stomach tightened as he looked directly into the man's eyes. "Arthur?"

"No one's been chosen yet, it a rather important position and we don't want to make a mistake."

" _Another_ mistake." He grumbled.

Merlin ignored the comment and continued. "It's not exactly a job you can waltz into. Under other circumstances Harry would have…"

Eggsy nodded understandingly.

"Anyway…" he looked down into his tea sadly. "Another subject was brought up at the meeting."

"Oh?" Eggsy frowned.

"Well…obviously with what's happened to Harry we'll be needing a new recruit and well…" Merlin glanced over at Roxy with a small smile playing at his lips. "You're already trained and I'd rather not 'ave to deal weth another group of morons so soon after the last lot."

"And you _did_ stop Valentine." Roxy added with a wide beaming grin.

"So…" Merlin shrugged as if it was nothing at all. "If you want et?"

Eggsy wasn't sure what he wanted, except… " _Yeah_."

Merlin met his gaze across the room. "You'll be the new Galahad." He said a little curiously like it's going to somehow break something.

Eggsy nodded regretfully. "Thanks."

That seemed to be all Merlin needed before suddenly his face broke into a smile and he settled back into the armchair with his tea. Roxy relaxed beside Eggsy, though she didn't slouch.

"So…when do I start?"

Merlin shrugged. "We'll be required to attend a meeting at the table tomorrow to discuss how we're movin' forward. Everyone's still recovering from V-day but someone's gonna try something soon enough." He smirked almost excitedly, and Eggsy shoots the same smirk back at him.

"Great." Eggsy nodded. "Can't wait."

He took a large gulp at his tea and felt Roxy staring at him like he'd grown too heads. Lowing his cup almost bashfully he turned back to Merlin, ignoring the woman beside him. "So I get paid for this right?"

Merlin snorted into his tea and lifted amused eyes to him. "Yes, ya get paid. – In fact..." he shifted his body, reaching into his pocket and tugging out a set of keys. "You even get a nice swanky pad of your own." He held the keys out to the younger man. "Three bedrooms." He added pointedly.

Eggsy set the cup down and took the keys, staring at them in his hand. "Where?"

"Not far from 'ere."

Eggsy rolled his lips and continued to watch the light gleaming off the polished keys and the Kingsman chain. "What 'bout this place?" he asked finally, looking up to meet Merlin's gaze.

"What about et? We'll have someone come in and pack up Harry's things and move them to storage."

The idea of Harry's life being packed into brown cardboard and hidden away to rot made him sick. A life spent protecting the world and that's all the thanks he got. Eggsy shook his head, he deserved more respect than that. He deserved to be remembered. He slid the keys back across the table. "I think I keep this place, thanks."

Merlin looked up at him, eyes intense. "Pardon?"

"I like it here. If it's only gonna be sold or whatever, I'll take it." Eggsy insisted, getting up and strolling over to the drinks tray to pour himself something stronger.

"Eggsy I don't think…" Roxy started, only to be interrupted by Merlin.

"Okay, Eggsy." He nodded. "If that's want ya want." Merlin nodded with a warm understanding smile. "But you can keep the other place. - Maybe you're mum and sister could us et."

Eggsy turned to look at the older man with surprise and confusion.

"You won't be the only member of the table who's been given a second home." Merlin chuckled. "Obviously you won't be able to tell her how you got it."

"Of course." Eggsy nodded. Though he had no idea how he was meant to convince his mum he'd been given a flat with his new job at a tailors that he wasn't even living at. He'd come up with something, though. He she could ignore all the shit Dean did, the cheating, the violence, then she could damn well ignore his.

"Then...congratulations." Merlin raised his cup to the younger man before bringing it to his lips.

"Congratulations, Galahad." Roxy smiled warmly, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Eggsy winced only slightly at the name, but smiled. "Who the fuck celebrates a job with tea." He laughed flatly, turning to pour three glasses.

"Kingman." Merlin and Roxy announced in unison, though they didn't protest as the crystal slowly filled.

Eggsy let his mind wander to his future and his life in this house while passing out the drinks. He felt himself smile softly, somehow it felt right to be here. _Just wish Harry was too_.

* * *

 **A/N: I had to write this because it's been in my head since the second I watched the movie. I can't believe they killed Harry, he better be coming back if the rumours of a sequel are true. I went through the whole last twenty minutes waiting for him to reappear, I was sooooo I hated that Eggsy went back to that damn princess, no cool Eggsy.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Eggsy took the steps in a slow decent, his fingers bushing softly against the wood of the banister, J.B yapping at his ankles with the excitement of breakfast. It was the only noise in the whole house. It was strange, something he still wasn't used to. He's spent all those years with his mum and Dean, listening to the arguments or the drunken parties. But he was getting used to it, the calm and quiet. – At least until his mum came to visit, which wasn't that often, usually he went to her. Mostly because she hated his place. _"It's like a fuckin museum Eggs."_

He turned the corner into the dining room with a sigh and ambled his way along to the kitchen at the end. He'd admit he hadn't exactly made the effort to put his stamp on the place, but then it had only been a month since he'd taken it over, it felt wrong to dismantle Harry's life so soon after he'd died. It was just respectful, it wasn't as if the second his dad died his mom boxed up all his things and carrying them down to the local charity shop then tossing out the bed they'd shared. So why should he? - Okay maybe that's a bad example, redecorating the house of your mentor isn't the same as tossing out the things of the man with whom you'd spend a decade and who you'd had a son with, but it's the principle.

Besides, he liked it, there was something comforting about it all. Even Mr Pickles, who stared at him while he was taking a piss in the downstairs loo.

Eggsy turned on the stove and set the kettle to it with a tired sigh and turned to fetch J.B's food from the cupboard, pausing by the fridge to grab the milk. He kept telling himself he was going to buy a new kettle and a god-damn TV but he'd been too busy setting the world to rights. When he did have down time, which at present was rare, he read. He was slowly making his way through Harry's book collection and when he wasn't reading, he was at the range or out on the town with Roxy.

It probably shouldn't have been such a surprise that she knew how to loosen up, but it was. She'd met his mum and it didn't take a genius to see that his mum thought there was something more going on. He didn't bother correcting her, it made it easier for work.

The kettle whistled off the tiled walls, the too loud sound making Eggsy ears ring for a few moments once he'd removed the thing from the heat. He poured the boiling water over the small round tea bag and let it stew for a couple of seconds before lifting it out, squishing it against the side of the mug then tossing it onto a small saucer before added the milk and three sugars.

With the small pug scoffing his face, Eggsy headed up to the study. He set his tea cup on the desk and sat, pushing open the laptop to check his upcoming mission parameters. He was due to leave with Roxy that afternoon for a two week long stint at The Hague, his bag already packed.

His eyes fluttered to the walls around him and his chest ached as it landed on the latest and sadly last newspaper front page, The Sun bemoaning the disappearance of yet another national treasure. Eggsy had pinned the page two days after he'd arrived back from the Valentine mission, a final show of respect for his lost mentor. The last chapter in an illustrious career the world will never know of.

Eggsy startled as his glasses made that discreet sound to inform him Merlin was calling and he reached for them, pulling them from his pocket. He rarely wore them around the house; they made the bridge of his nose sweaty and sore. He slid them on to his face with smiled. "Merlin."

" _Galahad."_ Merlin greeted in that warm Scottish tone. _"I need you to come en."_

"Why, has something change about the mission?"

" _No. It has nothing to do weth The Hague, you just need to come en?"_

Eggsy frowned at the mysterious yet nervous tone of the older man's voice even as he pushed back the desk chair and got to his feet. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Merlin didn't say anything else, the line going dead. Eggsy moved to slip the glasses from his nose before remembering it was protocol to wear them at all times while on duty. Closing the laptop he headed for the door and along to his room where he got into his suits and grabbed his bag.

 __Hartwin__

"So what was so important?" Eggsy said the second the door to the bullet opened, his brow raised.

Merlin didn't give him an answer, he silently turned and walked away, expecting Eggsy to follow him.

"Where's Rox… _Lancelot_?" he asked. It was going to take time to get used to calling her by her Kingsman name, they never used them outside; it would just be too weird.

"She's in Moscow, she'll meet you at The Hague."

"Oh." He nodded, somewhat disappointed they wouldn't be heading out together; the flights were so boring. "So why'd you call me in? There been a change to my target?"

"No. Everything still on course. – Unless Lancelot comes up with somethin'."

"Okay" Eggsy frowned, growing more nervous by the second as he realises Merlin's leading him towards infirmary. . "So why _am_ I here?"

Once again Merlin remained shtum on that, like it's a fucking national secret or somethin', he just keeps walking until he reaches a door, then he turns to face Eggsy with a blank professional look, though his eyes are filled with something Eggsy can't quite name. He watches Merlin swallow and shift his shoulders back. "I want you ta understand why we didn't tell you." he took a breath. "I didn't want to get your hopes up, there was little chance that he'd wake up. His injuries were so severe and frankly it's a miracle he's not dead, but there was a chance and we owed et to him to at least try but he could have remained comatose for life and I didn't think…"

Eggsy's heart begun to race painfully in his chest. That hope Merlin was trying to avoid blanketing him. He prayed what he was thinking was real but at the same time he was scared to believe it. He stared straight into the older man's eyes. "Merlin?"

Merlin nodded. "He's awake but…."

"Harry?" he whispered, take an eggier step forward only for Merlin to step between him and the door.

"Gala…" Merlin inhaled slowly. " _Eggsy_ , he's… - As I said, he was in a coma after being shot in the head, he's…not the man he was."

Eggsy swallowed hard, his hands shaking at his sides. "Meaning?"

"He doesn't know who he is." Merlin murmured regretfully. "He doesn't know who I am. – And he certainly won't know who _you_ are?"

The bottom dropped out of Eggsy's stomach and he took an unsteady step back. "What?"

"He's suffering from Amnesia. – I'm still doing test, it may be temporary." He doesn't sound convinced and Eggsy hates it. "It might just be the trauma."

"Will he…?"

Merlin struggled. "I don't know. He may regain his memory but…I…honestly Eggsy, I doubt it."

Eggsy dropped his gaze to the floor, his chest heaving as he tried to breath despite the crushing weight that Merlin's diagnosis had left. He dragged off his glasses and rubbed angrily at his eyes, fighting to keep the tears from revealing themselves. Harry was alive, which was the best news he'd had in weeks but he didn't know who he was, wouldn't know who Eggsy was. That cut deeper than he could have imagined. – But he's _alive_ , the rest…? They can deal with the rest. "I want to see him."

Merlin looked at him coolly before nodding and stepping away from the door. "Remember, he won't know you."

Eggsy inclined his head angrily and reached for the handle.

"He's still drowsy and…he's lost his left eye."

The room is dimly lit, not like the last time he'd visited Harry in infirmary. His heart flew into his throat at the sight of Harry laying in the bed, again, his hair longer and unkempt. There was an imitating weight of déjà vu about the whole thing, it could have been four months ago if not for the fact that Harry was now sporting a thick white bandage over his left eye. Eggsy stepped softly over to the bed and looked down at his resurrected mentor, a thousand questions spiralling in his head. He'd talk to Merlin later to get answers, right now he was too busy staring at the unconscious older man, his breathing slow and even.

Glancing around, Eggsy pulled a chair closer to the bed and took a seat, his hands folded in his lap as he just watched Harry breath. He felt kinda like a fucking stalker but he couldn't bring himself to leave and let he man sleep. Instead he let his eyes take in the right side of the man's face, pale and dark with a bread. His lashes fluttering as the eye moved beneath the lid, its partner gone. He looked younger, his features relaxed and unstressed by the past. Eggsy wondered just what horrors Harry had forgotten. Despite the hours they'd spent together the night before his final test, he knows he hasn't even scratched the surface of Harry career. There were so many stories he'd hoped to hear.

Eggsy lost track of time as he sat silently next to the bed, listening to their combined breathing in the silent room. Merlin had popped in only briefly to check Harry's vitals, remind Eggsy he had a mission and that Harry might be out for a while longer. Despite being in a coma, Harry was tired and needed rest. Eggsy had just nodded and remained in his spot.

It was almost 1pm when Harry finally began to stir, a hoarse moan rumbling out of his chest as he shifted uncomfortable in the bed.

"Harry?" Eggsy whispered, leaning forward.

Harry's head turned, his eye still heavy as he stared at him with a spark of confusion and…fear. He swallowed hard. "Who are you?"

"Eggsy." He smiled softly.

Harry frowned. "Eggsy?" he shook his head slightly. "I don't know you. – Do I?"

The oxygen fled Eggsy's chest at the announcement, he'd hoped that maybe Merlin had been wrong, that Harry just needed time to recover. Sighing regretfully he nodded. "Yeah, Harry, you know me?"

"Are you sure?" Harry whispered roughly, suspicion clouding his voice, his eye running up and down Eggsy. "You don't seem…" then he trailed off, his eye meeting Eggsy. "What kind of name is _Eggsy_?"

He can't help the indignity laugh that burst out of him. Harry hadn't seemed fussed by his nickname before, he'd just accepted it. "It's a nickname my dad gave Me." he smiled warmly.

"Oh." Harry huffed, breaking eye contact slowly to look around. "Where am I? The other man won't tell me?"

"Huh…" he chewed at his lip. "Well, it's too long a story to go into right now, bruv, just…believe me when I say it's the best place for you."

"Believe you? I don't even _know_ …remember you."

Eggsy sighed. "Yeah I know." He hung his head, dragging one hand though his hair and yanking his glasses off with the other. "I can't fucking believe you've got amnesia." He growled furiously. "But at least you're alive, so…I'll take the win."

"Alive?"

Eggsy looked up at him. "Yeah, part of that long story."

\\*_/\\_*/

Harry watched as the young man he can't remember, but who is apparently his friend, got to his feet and moved around to the end of the bed. He stopped to glance at the charts before beginning to pace restlessly around the room. Harry let himself evaluate the guy, from his almost perfectly in place blond hair to his polished black Oxfords. The suit had been dismantled, the double breasted jacket hanging over the back of the chair at his side, his waistcoat unfastened and swinging as he moved, the pristine navy, red and white striped tie askew and dragged a few inches from its original position, while the sleeves of the crisp white shirt were rolled up to his elbows revealing two pale forearms scattered with fine hairs.

But it's the trousers that really draws Harry ultimate attention, tailored to fit in all the right places, namely the guy's arse. He clenched his jaw and tried to force himself to look away but…he just couldn't. Obviously whatever had happened to him had blown his years of carefully cultivated control over his urges to hell. Sandhurst was going to be a nightmare if he couldn't keep his eyes to himself.

What was he thinking? Sandhurst was nothing but a pipe dream now. He sighed warily. The Scot had told himself he'd lost his eye when he'd woke up and found he couldn't see anything to his left, and apparently he'd loss of his memory too, which all meant he could kiss his dream of being an officer goodbye.

"You okay?"

Harry refocused on the blond at the end of his bed, shrugging slightly. "Just…thinking?"

"About?"

Harry looked at him intensely, he didn't know this guy, didn't remember him and frankly wasn't sure how convinced he was about them having been friends when he had. His accent made it very clear he wasn't what his father had called _'their kind of people'_. – And yet, something in him instantly trusted Eggsy in a way he'd never felt before. "How fucking messed up my future is." He sighed.

Eggsy nodded, leaning forward over the end of the bed, his forearms resting on the table. "It's not fucked up as bad as you think Harry. I'm sure Merlin's got some kinda plan for your eye…" he paused, swallowing thickly. Clearing his throat he continued. "As for everything else, the memories, maybe they'll come back. It happens all the time on TV, right? Someone loses their memory and all they have to do is retrace their steps, hang around their old haunts. – Bump into the gorgeous ex-girlfriend and bam, memory restored."

"I don't have a gorgeous ex- _girlfriend_." He matter-of-factly, confident at the statement, watching Eggsy closely.

Eggsy met his gaze and smirked back. "No? You sure?" he teased.

"Well I have lost my memory so…you never know." He shrugged, smiling teasingly at the blonde, their gaze locked across the expanse of his bed. He stared at the guy for a long moment, unable to look away from the warm blue/green eyes. "We're friends?" he asked softly.

Eggsy nodded, the smile still fixed in place. "Well, I...guess. - It's kinda complicated."

Well that was…intriguing. "How'd we meet?" Harry asked, his gaze running up and down the man unconsciously.

Eggsy laughed. "You got be out of the nick."

"Who's nick?" Harry deadpanned.

" _The_ Nick. The clink. In police custody."

A smile curved up at the corner of Harry's mouth. "Oh, you were arrested. For?"

"Nicking a car and then crashing it head long into a panda."

Harry gaped at him.

"Police car Harry, not an actual Panda." Eggsy chuckled, his hands knotted where they rested on the end table.

"I knew that." Harry huffed indignantly. "I'm just amazed that I would bail you out of that kind of trouble." He shook his head, narrowing his eye at the man. "Why would I do that?"

"Firstly I don't think there was any _bail_ involved, you got the charges dropped. – Secondly you did it because…you owed me one. Or more precisely, my father."

"I know your father?"

" _Knew_. – He saved your life and so…you saved mine." He said, fixing gazes with Harry in an intense and meaningful manner that had Harry's heart skipping.

"I…see." He breathed. "I'm…sorry. For your loss."

Eggsy broke eye contact and stared down at his hands. "Don't sweat it, bruv. It was a long time ago, I barely remember him." He sighed sadly.

Harry inhaled slowly, his eye narrowing. "A long time ago?"

Eggsy looked up suddenly, his gaze locking with Harry's. "Yeah."

"How…" Harry murmured, his head feeling like it didn't quite sit right on his shoulders. "What year is it?" he demanded furiously.

The man straightened, his shoulders back and his hands buried suddenly in his pockets. "Didn't Merlin…? – Oh fuck, Harry…" he shook his head furiously. "It's 2014."

The oxygen fled his lungs and the room tilted, his vision clouding. _2014\. It was 2014_. How the fuck could it be…? He shook his head. _No. No, it's a joke_. _It's someone's idea of a fucking joke!_ He couldn't breathe, there was no air in the room, in the world. There was a loud incessant bleeping in his left ear and he winces at the pain it caused to rocket though his head.

"Harry? Harry, calm down."

 _2014_. _2014_. He'd lost thirty years? Thirty years of his life just gone. How was that….?

"What happened?"

"You didn't tell him, that's what fucking happened!"

"Harry, you need to calm down and try to breathe." The Scot said but it was like he was under fifty feet of water. "Shit, I don't 'ave any option."

There was a sudden warmth taking over his body, easing him into its comforting embrace. His head lulled back against the pillow with a sigh, his heart steadily slowing down as his eyelid began to feel heavy. The last thing he heard before the bubble of peace and silence closed around him was the two men.

"He'll be fine, Eggsy."

"I fucking doubt it."

* * *

 **A/N: So yeah, Harry's alive obviously but he can't remember, because I love a good amnesia fic and if being shot in the head doesn't screw with your memory, I don't know what will.**

 **Feedback is very much appreciated. Thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is kind of a filler chapter and may be shorter than the previous chapters.**

 **Sorry for all spelling and grammar mistakes.** **No Beta**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

Eggsy stared out at the passing sea of white clouds and blue sky, his back pressed to the leather as he crossed the channel. He was on his way to The Hague to join up with the rest of the table at the UN Security Council meeting. It wasn't spying, not really, it was…keeping an ear to the ground. How were they meant to keep the world save from lunatics with more money and influence than sense if they didn't know who the weak links in the worlds governments were. – If there was one thing Valentine had taught them, it was _everyone_ could be turned, even the head of the worlds most elite and super-secret spy agency.

But despite the importance of the mission Eggsy's thoughts were back home in England at the side of an infirmary bed. He didn't know how he felt about Harry being alive, he was so torn. – No, not torn, he was over the fucking moon. It had been the best news of his life hearing that Harry Hart hadn't been killed, but there were these confused conflicting emotions rolling around inside him. Joy battling with anger at the fact that the Table had kept it from him. Merlin had said it was a decision made before they'd even offered him the job, but why they'd continued to keep him in the dark, Merlin wouldn't say. All the man had said was that he thought it was for the best, so as not to get Eggsy hopes up for a recovery.

Eggsy supposed he could understand that, if it weren't for the fact that he'd already gone through a comatose Harry. He'd been perfectly fine when Harry was blown though a fuckin' window and almost killed, he'd been focused and gotten through most of his training without any real issues before Harry eventually woke up.

But then there hadn't been a doubt in his mind that Harry _would_ wake up and he would have believed the same _this_ time. – Which he guesses is what Merlin meant. He would have believed Harry would get through because he'd done so already.

Eggsy inhaled slowly, rubbing at his eyes and turning to smile at the attendant who appeared beside him with a tray and a scotch, as if reading his mind. He took the glass with a grateful nod. "Thanks." Then waited for her to disappear before throwing it back and letting his head fall against the leather chair.

Harry was awake. All Merlin and the Table's worries and doubts about his recovery were unfounded, at least partly. Sure he was one eye down and half his life was missing but he was alive and awake, and frankly that was all _anyone_ should care about.

Eggsy lets his mind drift to Harry, pale and dark with a month's worth of hair coating his jaw, his hair long once again and a bandage covering the left of his face. Merlin said he'd been lucky, Valentine hadn't been looking where he was aiming, he'd shot wide and it was frankly a fluke he'd hit Harry at all. – Though why Gazelle hadn't finished him off, no one had any idea. Instead they'd apparently had him transported to the bunker.

" _You mean he was there!"_ Eggsyhad yelled as he'd paced Merlin's lab _. "He was there all the fucking time and I missed him!"_

Merlin had calmly nodded, hisfeature aloof as always. _"He wasn't being kept with the other prisoners, he was found when we were dismantling the place."_ Which was code for taking all Valentine's hi-tech tech before anyone else got their hands on it. _"I don't know what they were planning."_ Merlinfrowned _. "But_ _lucky for us they didn't just leave him to bleed out."_

And there was that word again, lucky.

Eggsy inhaled slowly, that ball of guilt heavy in his gut again. While he'd been cockily shaggin' a fuckin' princess, or at least _attempting_ to, Harry had been in some deep dark corner of Valentine's bunker, comatose. Eggsy dragged a hand though his perfectly quaffed hair, leaving it a little messed. What kind of protégée was he? What kind of… _friend_?

" _We're friends?"_

When Harry had asked the first reply on Eggsy's lips was _"We're more than just friends."_ But he could easily imagine how that would have sounded, which was exactly why he'd gone with _"It's kinda complicated."_ And boy was it complicated, at least for him.

"Sir, we'll be landing in a few minutes." The attendant announced, once again appearing out of nowhere.

"Thanks." Eggsy nodded, straightening in his seat and reaching for the belt. He brushed his hand lightly over his hair in an attempt to make himself presentable again. He'd deal with the 'complicated' situation of Harry Hart when he got home, when he and Harry could talk. When _he_ could think. But right now his whole focus had to be on work, that's what Harry would say.

 __Hartwin__

Harry was bored. He'd never really liked hospitals, they brought back too many bad memories. – Not that he was in a hospital apparently, according to the Scot this was a private facility and he was in the best of hands. – However that didn't stop it smelling or feeling like a hospital, which was the problem.

He scratched at his jaw for the fifth time in a minute, the coarse hair of his beard catching on his nails. He'd wanted to shave but the Scot had said it would have to wait for his surgery. That was two day ago and he was getting increasingly frustrated with feeling unkempt and dirty. He glanced around the room and caught the basin in the corner. "Screw it." He whispered, throwing back his bedcovers.

As if somehow sensing his intentions the door opened to reveal the Scot, the dimmed florescent lights gleaming off his bald head. "Harry, going somewhere?" he asked, smirking.

Harry huffed, glaring. "To shave."

The Scot narrowed his eyes at him. "I thought I explained…"

"Well if you think I'm lying around here for eternity looking like this."

The Scot's smile grew and he scoff. "How about another couple of hours? We've got ya surgery all ready to go."

Harry narrowed his gaze at the man. He'd told him days ago about the eye transplant, to say Harry had been surprised, uncertain and slightly nervous would be an understatement. It seemed a lot had changed in thirty years, which had left him wonder what else was different in this new world. "Is…Eggsy back?"

The Scotsman levelled his gaze at him. "Not yet. A few more days."

He nodded, resting on the edge of the bed and staring down at his feet. He didn't know exactly why he wanted to see Eggsy so badly, it wasn't like he knew him any more than he knew himself, but there was something instinctive drawing him to the other man. – And no, it wasn't just the physical attraction.

"Harry?"

He turned to meet the man's too knowing gaze. "Sorry."

The Scot inclined his head and waved a syringe in his direction. "You want to make yourself comfortable?"

Harry sighed, shifting back onto the bed and stretching himself out beneath the covers as the Scotsman strolled casually to his side with a reassuring smile that eased Harry's worries.

 __Hartwin__

Eggsy stared down into his lager, half an eye on the man he'd been assigned to watch as he tried to pick-up some woman at the bar.

"You okay?" a familiar voice asked.

He glanced up and smiled as Roxy slid into the seat facing him, a glass of white wine in her hand. "Better now you're here." He smiled flirtatiously.

Roxy rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she seemingly glanced around the room, but was really only looking at her target, the Russian security minister. "Flattering as ever."

Eggsy snorted into his beer, then sighed as he lowered it. He reached of his glasses and slide them off, folding the arms and setting them down on the table. Roxy, always the observant operative, stared at him for a moment before doing the same. She pinched at her nose before meeting Eggsy gaze. "I wanted to tell you." She whispered, as if knowing exactly what Eggsy wanted to talk about.

"Then why didn't you?" he replied a little harshly.

Roxy sighed, dropping her gaze to her glass were she began to turn it in slow circles. "It was deemed classified by the table."

Eggsy narrowed his eyes at her. "Before or _after_ I got my keys to the castle?" he snapped.

"Before." She sighed.

"So why didn't you tell be _after_?"

"I wanted to, I did, but Merlin said there was a chance Harry wouldn't wake up and he didn't think you could deal with that. He said it was better for you to continue mourning for Harry rather than delay what may be the inevitable. – And…" she glanced down at her wine. "The table thought you were too emotionally connected to the situation to make a rational decision if needed."

"Emotionally connected? Why because Harry was my sponsor and mentor?" Eggsy clenched his jaw as he met Roxy's sad blue gaze.

"With your history, Galahad..."

"Oh fucking god, just because I wouldn't shoot my god-damn dog you all kept me in the dark!" he snapped furiously.

Roxy blushed softly. "It doesn't matter now, he's awake and it's wonderful."

"Yeah." Eggsy sighed. "Except he has no idea who I am." he slouched low against the chair's back, his arms folded petulantly across his chest. "And when I told him the date he almost had a fucking _heart attack_."

Roxy leant forward, seeking Eggsy's gaze with determined eyes. "He'll be fine, he'll get his memory back. He's already beaten the odds, Eggs, he'll do it again. He's Harry Hart." She smiled brightly.

Eggsy looked at her and couldn't help the way his lips curled. "Yeah." He huffed. "Yeah, he is, ain't he?"

The discreet sound of their intercoms pulled them out of their private conversation and they instantly reached for the glasses, sliding them on and greeting their controller in unison. "Sorry Merlin."

" _Just remember you're on the clock."_ He said a little frustrated.

"We said sorry." Eggsy replied, turning his head towards the Minister with his hand on the thigh of his soon-to-be conquest. "He's fine. See."

" _Fine, is he? You are aware she works for the Russians?"_

"Shit." He glanced over to where Roxy's man was watching with keen eyes. "Fuck it." He growled, removing his glasses and dragging his hand through his combed hair as he slid out of his seat to head over and subtly defuse the situation. – And by subtle he meant make a fucking scene so everyone would be too embarrassed to try anything. - It seemed stopping drunk and horny MP's from getting themselves blackmailed was in the job description now.

He pressed drunkenly between the pair, shoving his still half full glass at the bartender. "Hey, buddy. Mate, another one." He waved the glass around and gasped when it 'accidently' landed in the lap of the young redhead. "Shit, sorry gorgeous." He leered at the woman with a drunken smirk. "Maybe we could go up to my room and get that thing off."

"Excuse me?" the MP gaped behind him. "How dare you…"

"Bugger off grandad, I'm on a roll here."

"Thomas!"

Eggsy turned to see Roxy marching furiously towards him. "Shit."

"What are you…?" she paused, looking between Eggsy and the woman. "Oh, I see. God, my parents were right about you." She screeched, shaking her head.

"Hey, I'm just talkin' to these nice folks, chill the fuck out."

"Talking?" she scoffed, glaring at the red-head. "I'm _sure_."

"If you'd excuse me." The red-head murmured angrily, sliding off the bar stool.

"I'll escort you to your…" the MP started only to trail off as he lost his footing and tumbled over an invisible obstacle.

"Oh, my god." Roxy gasped, bowing down to check on the man, stealthily zapping him out cold. Two suited men came rushing to her side, exchanging knowing looks with her. "I think he could use some help back to his room." She announced. "He's obviously had too much to drink." Then she was on her feet and glaring at Eggsy. "As have you!" she yelled. "And if you think I'm letting you into my bed smelling like you've spent a month in a cheap whore house, you are _sorely_ mistaken." Then she took off towards the door.

"Fuck it, Bella!" he yelled. "I was just being nice, fuck sake!" He sent the bartender a beseeching look before taking off after Roxy.

He caught up with her at the end of the hotel corridor and the pair slipped into an empty elevator, sliding their glasses back on.

" _Nicely done."_ Merlin said _. "Gawain and Kay will take over your assigned targets for the rest of the mission_ _,_ _you_ _both drop back to surveillance."_

"Got it." Eggsy sighed, slumping against the side of the lift. "How long is this thing on for again?"

" _A fortnight."_ Merlin informed.

"Oh fuck. I hate all this boring diplomatic shit."

" _Well sadly,_ _Galahad_ _, half our work is diplomatic shit."_ Merlin laughed as Eggsy groaned.

Eggsy closed his eyes and let his head rest against the elevator wall, listening to the bings counting off the floors and Roxy's chatter. He was so lost in his wariness that he almost missed Merlin's next words.

" _By the way_ _Galahad_ _, thought you'd like to know Harry's operation went as planned."_

Eggsy pushed himself upright. "Is he okay?"

" _He'll be fine once the swelling goes down."_

Eggsy sighed, smiling at Roxy who grinned back at him. "Thanks Merlin. Tell him I'll see him soon."

There was no reply to that and Eggsy pulled his glasses from his nose and pinched at the bridge.

"See, he'll get through this." Roxy whispered, squeezing his arm.

"Yeah." Eggsy nodded, hope and doubt battling within him.

* * *

 **A/N: hope that wasn't too boring and I'm sorry it's so short.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Harry stared at his reflection, still not used to looking so old. He ran his hand over his freshly shaven jaw then up to the corners of his right eye were the laughter lines seemed the most pronounced. He rubbed at the lines lightly as if he could be rid of them, which of course he couldn't. Sighing warily, he dragged his hand through his hair, the grey at his temples standing out against the warm brown of his natural colour.

With another world wary sigh he dropped his hand to lean heavily on the sink. He didn't break contact with his own gaze, at least the eye not currently concealed behind the thick bandage. He had no idea what his new eye looked like, though the scot had insisted there would no visible difference from his own eye.

The door opened behind him and he figured it was the Scot, sorry _Merlin_ , coming to check on him again. Then he saw a familiar gleam of dark blond hair and turned his head to stare at the suited and booted man in front of him. "Eggsy." He smiled warmly, turning fully and leaning back against the edge of the sink, his hands slipping into his robe pockets as he regarded the man. – The younger man. _Much_ younger. That realisation has his stomach dropping even as his heart leapt into his throat.

"Hey Harry." Eggsy grinned. "Lookin good, bruv, almost back to your old self."

Harry's smile wavered. "Olds right." He grumbled, pushing angrily off the sink to march almost petulantly towards the bed.

Eggsy rolled his eyes and laughed as he moved closer to brace his weight on the end of the bed. "You ain't _that_ old."

Harry looked up at him with a raised, unimpressed eyebrow. "I've done the maths, Eggsy. I know _exactly_ how old I am and it isn't twenty. – I'm old enough to be your father."

Eggsy sighed, glancing down at his oxfords. "Luckily you ain't thou." He murmured softly. "So that how old you think you are, twenty?"

"Yes." Harry sighed, watching Eggsy closely, frowning at the tone of his voice. "Twenty, trapped in the body of a fifty-five year old."

"Yeah, but a fit 55year old." Eggsy winked. "I've seen you fight, bruv and trust me, the old bastards from the council estate couldn't move half as well as you do."

Harry swallowed, shifting awkwardly as heat rising up in him. "Ah, thanks?"

They fell into silence for a long moment, just staring at one another until the tension was too much.

"So, hopefully Merlin will let you out soon, yeah?"

Harry shrugged. "He said something about going home in the next few days but said he'd have to talk to you first."

Eggsy rubbed at the back of his neck. "Shit, right. – Yeah, I thought ya were dead an' all, so…I kinda moved into your place. Didn't think you'd mind, but…."

Harry stared at him with wide eyes. "You're living in my flat?"

"I'll move out, of course. I can go living with my mum until I find somewhere else." He met Harry's gaze.

"I don't exactly know my way around." he insisted a little too quickly, his neck growing warm with embarrassment. "And I could use a friend."

"Sweet." A smile bloomed to life across the blonde's face and his eyes lit up. "We'll get along like a house on fire Harry and don't worry, I haven't touched any of your stuff. – Your suits are exactly where you left them." His smile softened to something warm and fond.

"My suits?"

Eggsy gestured down at his own.

"Oh." Harry frowned. He'd never really felt all that comfortable in suits, something that caused his father unending amount of frustration, as if just because he was always seen in one then so too much Harry be. "Don't suppose I have anything a little less… _stuffy_?"

Eggsy snorted in surprise, his brow raised in amusement. "You don't want to look stuffy?" he chuckled. " _You_?" he grinned. "Wow, Valentine must 'ave really done a number on ya. – Well, I'm sure I can bring in those snazzy corduroys and that oh so attractive cardi."

Harry's face dropped. "Fuck off." He spat. "I wouldn't be seen dead in cords and a cardigan."

Eggsy laughed, shifting his weight and slipping his hands into his trouser pockets with a wide smirk. "Oh really? Trust me bruv, it was defs a cardi. Beige with little wooden buttons." He chuckled. "And green cords."

Harry glowered at him. "Are you always an asshole?"

Eggsy winked at him playfully. "So you wanna get the fuck out of here or what?"

The corners of Harry's lips turned up and he nodded. "Yeah."

Harry watched him go with a warm lead weight in his gut. He was going to be living with Eggsy, under the same roof. God, this was such a bad idea. So very, _very_ bad. He wasn't dumb or blind, he knew they were flirting, he just wasn't sure if it was just Eggsy's natural state of play or if there was something more going on. He had said they're friendship was 'complicated'.

Pushing himself off the bed once more, Harry paced over to the mirror and resumed staring at his aged face. Even if he did have designs of Eggsy, there was no way in hell the much younger guy was going to be interested in an old fart like him? Would anyone?

 __Hartwin__

Eggsy strolled through the corridors of the 'Castle' with a spring in his step. There had always been an easy atmosphere between him and Harry, a casual back and forth, even in the midst of an argument, the second they'd met they'd just seemed to click, and it was wonderful to have that again. The underlying tension that seemed to have settled between them though was both new and yet at the same time their natural state. Eggsy wasn't stupid, he knew he was flirting, had been almost since day one but now it felt like Harry was actually flirting back and the way Harry watched him when he thought he wasn't paying attention left Eggsy feeling hot and bothered in ways he hadn't felt since his first real physical attraction at school. – Mr Ashworth, his English teacher, who always seemed to inspire him to do better, despite his shit home life. Yeah, so maybe Eggsy had a type.

The problem now was that with this tension bubbling to the surface he worried whether them sharing a roof was really such a good idea. Maybe it would be better if he went to stay with his mum and Daisy. – Or maybe he should let nature take its course.

Eggsy contemplated the choice as he heading closer to Merlin's lab, his emotions battling. Part of him really wanted to see where it all went now that Harry had loosened up. But Harry wasn't himself, at least not the man Eggsy had first met leaning against the wall of Holborn Police Station six months ago. The West London part of him screamed to just go for it, screw the fact that harry didn't know anything about himself or the world. But the Kingsman in him now whispered that a gentleman never took advantage of a friend's venerable state.

Pausing outside Merlin's office, he inhaled slowly. He'd have to move in with his mum, it was the only descent thing to do, give Harry his space. Nodding to himself, Eggsy knocked and stepped inside before Merlin could call him to enter.

The man was stood talking to a tall dark hair woman and they both turned to regard him when he strolled in.

"Ah, Galahad."

"Hey Merlin." He nodded, smiling. "When can Harry get out of here? I think he's goin' stir crazy."

"We were just discussing that actually. You 'aven't met Guinevere yet, have you? Guinevere, our new Galahad."

The brunette stepped forward with a warm smile and an outstretched hand. "Hello, Galahad."

"Hey." he shook the hand, regarding the woman closely. She was clearly mixed race, with amazing green eyes and full lips that probably had Kingsman agent fantasizing for hours. He cocked a smirk at her. "Pleasure to meet _you_."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Down boyo, she's the service psychiatrist, she ain't gonna fall for your frankly embarrassing attempts at seduction."

"Hey, I'll 'ave you know, I ormost had that bird in the club."

Merlin stared over at him sceptically and Guinevere chuckled. "I see why you like him." She whispered.

"Ahh, Merlin 'ave you been gushing 'bout me?"

Merlin glared for a long moment before shooting Guinevere a betrayed look.

Laughing, Eggsy moved to make himself comfortable on the edge of one of Merlin's desks, his arms folded over his chest. "So when can Harry get out of here?"

The atmosphere dissolved into seriousness almost instantly. "As I said, Guinevere and I were just discussing that." Merlin took a seat and swivelled to face Eggsy. "So I've done all the test I can think of and it seems that whatever's causin' Harry amnesia, it estn't physical."

"What?"

Merlin turned and pulled up Harry's scans. "The bullet Valentine fired didn't actually cause as much damage as we first thought. I've gone through the feed again and it seemed the bullet hit Harry's glasses, breaking the glass , Which is what caused his to lose his eyes, then deflected to enter and exit at an angle that avoided any major arteries and his brain." Merlin replayed the feed but Eggsy dropped his gaze, he couldn't watch that again.

"So what's causing it?" Eggsy asked, staring at his Oxfords.

"Guinevere has a theory on that." Merlin said, switching off the video to turn and look at the pair.

Eggsy lifted his gaze to the woman, waiting for her to fill him in.

The woman lent back on the edge of the desk Merlin was sat at. "I've read his file and seen the incident that lead up to his being shot and, well I think that his amnesia is rooted in the events at the church." She informed him softly. "It's not just the trauma of being shot, it's…" she glanced down at Merlin then over to Eggsy once more. "It's what he _did_. Killing the way he did."

Eggsy swallowed thickly. "Yeah, but he's killed before, right? I comes with the job."

"Not innocent civilians." Merlin pointed out.

"I'd hardly say they was innocent." Eggsy grumbled having read the file of the American hate group and their activities.

"They weren't his target and they weren't the aggressors in the situations." Merlin sighed regretfully.

Eggsy echoed the sound and lowered his head. "The Kingsman only condones the risking of a life to save another." He whispered. It was one of the last things Harry had said to him before he headed off to Kentucky.

"Exactly." Merlin nodded.

Eggsy sighed, lifting his gaze to Guinevere. "So you think he's forgotten because he can't handle all the shit he did in the church?"

Guinevere nodded. "It's just a theory."

"So why not just forget that day, why forget the last thirty years?" Eggsy pressed frustatedly.

"Because it's all contacted. In Harry's head it's all part of the same thing. He's forgotten the Kingsman because they're the reason he was there.

"Shit." Eggsy growled. "So what do we do? He'll get his memory back though right?" he looked at her pleadingly.

Guinevere shrugged. "I can't say for sure, I only wish I could."

"There 'as to be somethin' we can do? _Anythin'_."

"Well the only thing I can recommend would be to surrounding him with familiar things, people and objects. It might help jog something. In _some_ cases it can be as simple as seeing a familiar face or photograph. Returning to an important place."

"Huh." Eggsy grinned. "I said that to 'em. That all he needs is to bump into some ex-girlfriend or whatever."

Merlin cleared his throat, shifting subtly in his seat. "That might be difficult to arrange." He murmured under his breath.

Eggs frowned. "What?"

"Nothing." Merlin shook his head. "So, Guinevere, you're recommending we send him home?"

"Might help, yes."

Eggsy pushed himself off the table. "Yeah, okay." He cleared his throat. "Merlin, I'll be movin' in with my mum until…"

Guinevere frowned, looking between the pair with knitted brows, before her eyes seemed to clear. "Oh. Huh, I…you live with him?"

Merlin cleared his throat. "Galahad took over Harry's place when he was made a Kingsman."

"Oh, I…see. Well…" she looked back at Eggsy, her eyes searching, assessing. "It might not be wise to leave him alone, actually. He has after all lost thirty year of his life. The worlds changed a lot, he could probably use the support. At least until he gets back on his feet. – I mean unless a flat shares going to be a problem?"

Eggsy shrugged a little too nonchalantly. "Nah, no prob my end."

"I'm sure Harry will welcome the company." Merlin added with a smile.

"Okay, that's settled then." Guinevere smiled.

Eggsy shifted awkwardly on his feet, unsure how he felt about the choice being ripped away from him. He wasn't about to let Harry suffer through everything alone though. And Guinevere was right, the world had changed a lot in thirty years, lord knows how Harry was going to react to it all. – He needed someone to watch his back and of course that someone _had_ to be him. He owed Harry.

"Galahad?"

"Right, yeah. I'll go tell 'em the good news."

Merlin got to his feet and walked over to the garment bag laying on a table. "You can take thes with you. He'll be needin' a change of clothes."

Eggsy couldn't help but chuckle. "His suit?"

Merlin nodded. "Of course. Problem?"

Eggsy grinned wildly as he took the bag. "No, I'm sure he'll _love_ it."

Merlin frowned as he took in the man's grin but didn't comment further. Eggsy swivelled on his heels and marched off back to Harry's room, already anticipating the older man's reaction to the suit he was apparently too cool for.

Eggsy had never really imagined what Harry was like when he was younger, he figured he'd been born with a silver spoon up his arse and a suit already like a second skin. It was most definitely going to be an education to get to know _this_ Harry Hart. After all, as far as Harry was concerned he was twenty and free of the restrictions that came with his potion as a Kingsman agent. It left Eggsy excited and eager to be away from the ever-watchful eyes of Merlin.

He pushed open the door to Harry room without knocking and found Harry stretched out on the bed, his eyes close. Eggsy paused, watching him for a long moment.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you it's rude to stare?" Harry said, startling him.

"I _wasn't_ staring." Eggsy insisted. "Don't flatter yourself." He scoffed.

Harry leant up on his elbows and turned to meet Eggsy eyes with a gleam and a smirk. "What's that?" he nodded to the bag.

Eggsy grinned. "Clothes, care of Merlin." He waltzed forward to lay the bag over the end of the bed.

Harry looked between the bag and Eggsy with an exhale. "It's a suit isn't it?"

"Best Kingsman has to 'ffer no doubt." He winked. "Get dressed so we can get the fuck out of here, I need a drink." He sighed, strolling over to drop down into the chair in the corner, reaching for a novel Merlin had brought to help relieve Harry's boredom.

"You're just going to sit there while I change?" Harry asked, sliding off the bed.

Eggsy glanced up from the page with a cocky grin. "Don't worry Harry, I promise I won't look." His heart hammered against his ribs as he watched the older man's face glow slightly red, is own neck feeling hot under his shirt collar. He couldn't seem to help himself, the flirtatious words just slipped from his tongue. He hadn't been this bad before Harry had died. His flirting had been more subtle, off key. Now it was like someone had opened a fucking floodgate.

"Well as long as you promise." Harry said, reaching for the belt of his robe and yanking it free of the knot, his eyes never leaving Eggsy.

Inhaling sharply, Eggsy battled with himself over whether to be a gentleman or not. The Kingsman in him won out eventually, when Harry began to unbutton his pyjama top and he dropped his gaze to the book, the words swimming in front of his eyes, not making a lick of sense as his heart pounding in his ears and his trousers grew just a tad too tight. But he didn't move, didn't leave, because while he may be a gentleman he wasn't a fucking chicken-shit.

He didn't know how long he sat there, eyes fixed to the same page as the sound of rushing blood and the rustle of clothing filled his ears. He licked at his lips and cleared his throat more than needed and breathed a sigh of relief when Harry announced he was ready. Eggsy cautiously lowered the book and inhaled again when he saw Harry stood a few feet away in his suit pants and white shirts, open at the collar and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The jacket and tie lay discarded on the bed and Harry leant back against the end, his hands in his pockets.

"What?" Harry asked, frowning at him.

Eggsy cleared his throat as he tossed the book aside and got to his feet, his eyes skimming over Harry from head to toe. "Nuffin'. You look…good." He nodded reassuringly. "Very good." He whispered.

Harry shuffled his feet. "Thanks. – Would have preferred a pair of jeans though."

 _Jeans_? God how Eggsy wanted to see him in jeans. He let out a quiet groan that he quickly tried to conceal by clearing his throat. _Again_. "Huh, I'm sure we can get you jeans."

Harry smirked. "Good. – Maybe we can get you some too."

"I've got jeans. – Unlike _you_ , Harry, I wasn't born wearing a suit." He laughed. "And I don't wear this unless I'm working. – Or beating the shit out of my asshole of a step-father."

"You beat up your step-father?" Harry asked nervously.

"He deserved it, trust me. The fucker hit my mum enough, he's lucky I just gave him a taste of his own medicine. With what I've learn from you, I could have killed the fucker."

Harry paled. "I…I've taught you to… _kill_."

Eggsy looked up at him, Guinevere words about is internal guilt replaying themselves in his head. "Only as part of the job, Harry." He smiled reassuringly. "I'll…explain everything on the ride home, okay? Promise."

Harry looked uncertain for a long moment before taking a deep breath and pushing himself straight. "Okay." He nodded, reaching around for the jacket and tie. "Take me home, Eggsy."

Eggsy stared at him, the words burning a brand into his gut. He swallowed thickly and nodded, turned to head for the door. "Okay, Harry. – Just need to stop by the kennels first."

"Kennels?" Harry asked following him out the door.

* * *

 **A/N: Reviews would be most welcome, thanks.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So how many of you got the Mr Ashworth reference in the previous chapter, huh? Mr Ashworth was Colin Firth's character in Fever Pitch, and yeah he was an English teacher. Like I said, Eggsy's got a type *wink*.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

"Here we are." Eggsy murmured shoving open the front door and stepping inside, J.B rushing past him into the house. "I haven't moved anything, all your stuffs still here." He waved at the walls.

Harry followed a little more cautiously, somewhat terrified of what he might find. He had no idea what kind of old man he'd turned into. He took a breath as he stepped over the threshold and caught sight of the coin collection by the door and the art taking up the walls.

"So, tour I guess." Eggsy announced, waving his arm to his right. "Dining room and kitchen…"

Harry craned his nice to look into the smart dining room that eerily reminded him of his own childhood home. Beyond it he could just make out the kitchen.

"Living room's through that there." Eggsy continued, waving at the closed door on the right side of the dining room.

"Lounge." Harry corrected instinctively.

"Huh?" Eggsy frowned turned back to look at him.

"The proper description is lounge."

Eggsy's lips curved, scoffing as he strolled past him. "And of course the bog. – Oh, or should that be the WC." He corrected himself, adding a particularly dramatic posh accent.

Harry rolled his eyes as Eggsy shoved open the door, like he'd never seen a toilet before and his eyes grow wide as he came face to face with a stuffed dog. "What the fuck is that?" he snapped, stepping closer to the small room.

"That would be Mr Pickles. You're dog."

Harry turned his head sharply to stare down at Eggsy, scandalised. "I _stuffed_ my dog?"

Eggsy shrugged. "Don't look at me, bruv, before my time. – At least you didn't shoot him."

"Why would I shoot him?"

Eggsy smiled. "It's part of the training for Kingsman."

Eggsy had explained about Kingsman on the drive back to London in the back of a customized black taxi. Frankly it all seemed a bit fantastical, if he were honest, secret agents posing as tailors, really? But Eggsy had insisted that it was true and that as _Galahad,_ which had apparently been his code-name, he'd had a pretty decent track record.

He'd also explained that it was while on a mission that he'd been shot by the bad guy and that Eggsy had watched the whole thing. It had left an uncomfortable feeling in Harry's gut and a heavy silence between them for the last thirty minutes of the drive. He hadn't asked any questions, he didn't think he was ready to process the answers' of it just yet.

"They wanted me to shoot my dog?" he stared wide eyed at the stuffed terrier. "What the fuck kind of organization am I involved with?"

"That was my reaction when they handed me the gun and told me to shoot J.B…"

"You shot your dog?"

Eggsy tilted his head at the older man, both insulted and amused, considering. "No, Harry, that's why he's here." He nodded at the pug who was staring up at them with wide brown eyes, like he still hadn't forgiven Eggsy for even _contemplating_ shooting him. "Which is why I failed."

Now he was _really_ confused. "Wait, if you failed then…"

Eggsy grinned brightly at him, his brow raised cockily. "Perks of savin' the world, Harry." He winked. "Along with the snazzy suits, sick wheels and all the ass you want."

Harry stared, mouth agape while Eggsy laughed and stepped past him.

"Come on, more to see."

"Yeah." Harry murmured, staring at the dog as his head whirled, an acidy feeling in his gut from the idea of Eggsy fucking around like James Bond.

"Harry?"

"Right, coming." He cleared his throat and pulled the toilet door closed, turning to follow Eggsy up to the next level. At the top of the stairs, Harry scanned the space, wincing inwardly at yet more art on the walls. God, he'd turned into his father.

The thought of his father made his gut tighten, he hadn't heard from the man, not that he should have been surprised, really. They're last encounter, or at least the last one he remembered, had ended in a blazing row. Things were said, accusations made and it wasn't as if he'd asked Eggsy or Merlin to call him and let him know. Obviously they hadn't reconnected after that fight.

"So this is my room." Eggsy murmured, opening a door directly opposite himself.

Harry's heart leapt into his throat at the reminder that they'd be sharing a flat.

"This is yours." Eggs continued, moving on to the next door. He didn't open it, just tapped at the brilliant white wood before quickly moving on to another door. "Bathroom." He opened that door wide before closing it again. "Finally, your office." This time he actually moved into the room.

Harry followed after him, his eyes scanning the dark red walls blanketed with newspaper front pages. "What's all this?"

Eggsy moved over to the desk, perching on the edge with his arms folded. "Your illustrious career." He huffed.

Harry stepped closer to the pages, scanning them for his name. "My names not on any of them." He commented, continuing to search the pages.

"I should hope not." Eggsy laughed. "And I quote, _a man's name should only appear three time in a paper, when he's born, when he marries and when he dies. And Kingsman are first and foremost gentleman_." He snorted.

"Who told you that bullshit?" Harry sighed, strolling on to another wall.

"You."

He growled. "I sound like my father." he shook his head. "Hell, from all this…" he waved at the whole world. "I've turned into him."

"Is that a bad thing?" Eggsy asked, intrigued.

"Yes." He replied a little harshly. "We never got along. He didn't approve of… certain things in my life."

Eggsy watched him intensely. "The army?"

Harry shook his head, lowering himself into the leather chair in the corner. "That was probably the one thing he couldn't disapprove of, it was more about my… _personal_ life. – He hoped the army would straighten me out."

"Did it?"

"No." he replied, eyes burning into Eggsy. "Pretty sure it didn't."

"Well…" Eggsy coughed. "Fuck him, Harry. You've done pretty good."

Harry smiled softly. "Just wish I could remember if I ever got the chance to rub his face in it."

"You could ask Merlin, if anyone would know it's him."

"So is this it?" Harry said in a harsh chance of subject.

Eggsy seemed to understand his reluctance to talk about it. "Yeah. Except for the shooting range in in the basement."

Harry's mouth gapped again until Eggsy started laughing, shaking his head. "Asshole." Harry spat, grabbing the book off the side table and tossing it at Eggsy, surprised when the man caught it with ease.

"It was just too ease." Eggsy continued to laugh. "You hungry?"

"Staving."

"Don't suppose you remember how to cook, do ya?" Eggsy asked hopefully.

"Me?" he scoffed. "Beans on toast?"

Eggsy rolled his eyes. "We'll order take out." He pushed himself off the desk and headed for the door, tossing the book back to Harry, who surprised himself as he caught it with the same fluidity as the blonde.

Setting the book on the table again, Harry got to his feet and followed. "Mind if I take a bath?"

Eggsy glanced over his shoulder. "It's your pad, man." He smiled. "I'll order. What you fancy?"

 _'_ _You_ _'_ almost rolled off of Harry's tongue, but he bit it back and shrugged. "Whatever."

Eggsy nodded. "Towels are in the airing cupboard." He nodded to the door a few feet away.

"Thanks." Harry smiled. "For _everything_."

Eggsy's face grew a little red in the dim evening light. "It's cool, Harry."

Harry watched Eggsy vanish down the stairs before he moved to the hall closet, grabbing a towel from the top shelf and pushed the door closed and headed to the room Eggsy had designated his. It was all grey and white, the bed perfectly made with a pale blue duvet and white sheets. There was a large wardrobe behind the door and a lager chest of drawers next to another door a few feet away. Harry strolled over to it and pushed it open to find the bathroom on the other side.

The room was white and spotless, and thankfully unlike the downstairs loo there were no stuffed pets or hideous butterfly collection. Sure he liked butterfly but honestly walls and walls of them was just _too_ much. Stepping into the bathroom, Harry left the door open and dropped the towel on the edge of the sink, which sat squeezed between the two doors, and began to strip.

 __Hartwin__

Eggsy stripped off his tie and jacket, tossing them over the back of the couch before heading to the sideboard to pour himself a drink. He could hear Harry moving around above him and felt a warmth slowly settling in his gut. The flirting was getting worse, he knew that much and if he wasn't careful it could escalate to something a hell of a lot more heated than banter.

Taking his drink over to the couch he stretched himself out and closed his eyes, his glass hanging from his fingers. There was a rattle of pipes and it didn't take a genius to know Harry was running water. Eggsy absently wondered if he'd be using the shower. Did he even know what a shower was? Did they have showers thirty years ago?

Naturally for a young man for twenty-three, the thought of Harry in the shower brought certain things to mind, namely a naked Harry in the shower, water running over the muscle he'd known was there even before he'd caught a glimpse earlier. After all, you couldn't move the way Harry did without toning up a little. Predictably Eggsy's dick twitched with interest and he groaned, reaching down to palm himself though is bespoke suit pants. The suit Harry had made for him.

Eggsy was thirteen when he realised he was into guys, and yeah Mr. Ashworth was the light at the end of that tunnel. Sure he'd noticed certain things before, feelings while in the changing rooms. An interest in what the boys had in their pants as much as what the girls did, but he'd just figured it was natural curiosity, figured everyone thought the same way. Until he heard Rick Marsh calling Dwayne Wilson a fag for sneaking a look in the showers. Poor Dwayne hadn't stood a chance against Rick, the boy'd been carried out of the school playground by two teachers while Rick was carted off by a copper. – Thus beginning his illustrious career as a thug to be fears. Even Dean knew to stay the fuck away from Rick Marsh.

That had made Eggsy re-evaluated his own thoughts and feelings, and when Mr Ashworth had strolled into their class at the beginning of term to replace Mr. Crayford, it was all suddenly _very_ clear where Eggsy's interests lay. It was the first time he'd really thought about sex. Sure he'd known about it, talked about it with the guys, who they'd shag and who they'd never touch with a fifty foot barge-pole. What they'd done, which for Eggsy and pretty much most of his mates, was nothing more than a grope under the desks or behind the English block. – But for the first time, with that handsome English teacher he really thought about it. How it would feel, what he'd do. The fantasies he had during class were enough to make a hooker blush.

Then Ryan had made some crack about him having a crush on Ashworth within earshot of Dean and Eggsy had gotten a clout. Three days later he'd tossed a brick through the teacher's car window while he was driving away from the school. – He still remembered the look of disappointment in the man's face. It was hauntingly similar to the one on Harry's face the day he'd failed his training. – And just to be sure there were no doubts, he'd shagged Maria Dooley around the back of the Black Prince then made his way through half the girls on the estate before he was sixteen. Dean seemed to have been satisfied he'd beaten the fuckin' poof out of him and that was all that mattered.

Of course he hadn't, not really and as much as Eggsy tried, he couldn't fight the attraction to blokes forever. So yeah there were a couple of late night hook-up with nameless bloke he picked up in bars when he could ditch his friends long enough to seek off across town, but he'd never felt the stirring in his loins the way he had the second he'd set eyes on Harry outside Holborn Police Station, casually leaning against the wall. And watching him take out all of Dean's boys without breaking a sweat or dislodging a single hair, let's just say he'd walked out of the Prince shortly after Harry with a slight limp in his step.

He hadn't know what he'd been getting himself into and honestly he didn't care as long as Harry was there.

Eggsy exhaled a sharp breath as he tightened his grip around his stiffy, pulling his lip between his teeth. Then the sound of his phone ringing yanked him painfully back to reality, his eyes flying open. "Shit!" he swore as he pushed himself upright on the couch and reached for his phone, setting the crystal cut tumbler on the coffee table. He glanced down at the ID and groaned. "Fuck it." He growled, hitting the screen and lifting it to his ear. "Hey mum."

" _Hey baby. – Eggs are you gonna be home this_ _weekend or will you be working_?"

Eggsy dragged his hand though his hair. "I don't know mum. I told you I work when they need me. – Why?"

" _Well we missed your birthday, you were off on some…whatever_..."

 _Shit_. He'd forgotten. The 'whatever' had been a visit to Switzerland to check out a rumour that some of Valentine's systems were still operational and Merlin wanted those systems. – He hadn't even realised he'd missed his birthday, it wasn't like he'd much cared about them before. Previously they'd just been an excuse to have a knees-up and get plastered.

"So _I was thinking that maybe we could have a party. Invited some of the old crowd and some of your new friends from work_ _like_ _Roxy_."

Eggsy inhaled slowly. What was he meant to say to that? He could tell by the tone of his mother's voice that she was excited, she'd been eager to make things up to him since he'd swept her away from Dean and the estate. She'd always felt guilty about bring Dean into their lives, but needs must and it wasn't easy being a single mum. At least that was her argument. Strange how other women were able to do it without hooking up with a scumbag like Dean Baker. – Although if she hadn't they wouldn't have Daisy and he'd die for his little sister.

" _Eggsy_?"

"I dunno mum. I…I'm not sure it's a good idea to...see those guys."

" _Those_ _guys_ _being Jamal and Ryan? You're best friends since primary school_."

Eggsy clenched his jaw at his mum's words, a ball of guilt growing inside his gut.

" _What you_ _too_ _good for them now, that it? Now you're working for that toffee-nosed shop you don't want to be seen with the riff-raff_?" she snapped furiously.

"That's _not_ what I mean." And it wasn't, it was just…he wasn't sure he could actually hang with those guys anymore. He wasn't the same Eggsy they'd known.

" _I_ _never thought_ …"

"You were the one that wanted me to get out, mum, remember?" he snapped back defensively.

She sighed. " _I know, but…Eggsy they're your friend and they keep asking about you_."

"You're still in touch with them?" Eggsy frowned, alarmed.

" _Rachel_ _is_ _my best friend, Eggsy. I'm not gonna just cut her off because you've moved us into this posh house_."

Eggsy straightened. "At least tell me you aren't in contact with Dean." He growled. "That he doesn't know where you are."

There was a long pause that had Eggsy's stomach dropping to his feet.

" _He's Daisy's father, Eggsy_."

"Fuck it Mum!" he yelled. "What's the fuckin' point of me getting you away from the bastard if you're just going to fuckin' run back to him. Jesus!"

" _Don't yell at me Eggsy. – He's_ …"

"Don't say he's changed Mum, I swear to god."

" _Eggs_ …"

"No mum." He growled. "You know what, do wha' ya fuckin' want! And when the bastard put you in hospital, don't come runnin' to be." He ended the call and tossed the phone on the coffee table, watching as it slid a few inches away from him, then he let his head drop into his hands.

He couldn't believe his mum was back with Dean, after everything the man had done. After everything he, himself, had done to get her away from him. He won't deny that kicking the shit out Dean had been more about his own vengeance than his mum but… God, what was wrong with her?

"Eggsy?" a soft cautious voiced murmured behind him.

"Hey Harry." He replied, his head remaining cradled in his hands. "How was the bath? Or did you figure out how to use the shower?"

"Shower." Harry whispered, moving closer. "You alright, Eggsy?"

Eggsy laughed, unamused. "Fuckin' peachy. – Mum's back with Dean." He growled.

"Dean?"

Eggsy groaned, rubbing at his face with both hands. "Shit, I forgot you've forgot." He lifted his head, shaking it. "I guess that means you don't remember what you had on him?" he glanced over his shoulder hopefully, but sighed when he saw nothing but confusion in the older man's eyes. "Forget it." He sighed.

"I fear that's the problem." Harry said, trying to lighten the mood somewhat.

Eggsy smiled reluctantly. "I haven't called for dinner yet."

"That's fine."

Eggsy reached over for his phone and heading for the door. "I'm in the mood for a curry, that okay with you?"

Harry nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"Good."

Eggsy slipped out of the living room and headed for the kitchen draw where he'd been keeping the take-out menu's. He wasn't much of a cook so junk-mail was his salvation. With the menu in his hand he turned back to the living room door. "Harry, want you want?" he yelled.

"I'm not fussed."

Eggsy rolled his eyes. "Helpful Harry." he murmured, unfolding the menu and tapping the number into his phone. The stress of only a few minutes ago easing as he placed their order.

He returned to the living room to find Harry sat in the armchair, slouching low, legs spread wide, the blue pyjama pants stretching seductively across his thighs and the plain white t-shirt fitting a little too tightly across his shoulders.

Harry turned at the sound of Eggsy's movements and smiled. "You okay?"

Eggsy nodded. "Diner should be about half hour." he strolled casually over to the sideboard and poured another glass of scotch, carrying it back to the couch where he held it out for Harry while reaching for his own.

"Want to talk about it?" Harry asked, taking the offered glass. "I might not remember but I can still listen."

Eggsy stared down into his drink with a sigh, sloughing back into the fat cushions of the sofa. "Dean's my step-dad, a right piece of work, knocked me and mum around pretty much since the day he moved in." he met Harry's gaze. "When I got the job with Kingsman, I went and got Mum and Daisy, my sister, away from him. Set her up in the house Kingsman gave me. I thought if I got her off the estate she'd forget all 'bout the bastard. Turns out I was wrong, she's still in contact with him. – I don't know what she's thinkin'."

Harry pressed his lips into a hard line. "Some people just want to feel wanted."

Eggsy frowned. "She's wanted by me and my sister."

"You really think that's enough." He raised a brow. "How long was she alone before she met him?"

Eggsy shrugged. "A couple of years. I was eleven."

"How old were you when you're dad died?" he asked softly.

Eggsy looked at him with a hard look for a second. "Six."

"Five years of being alone." Harry contemplated.

"She _wasn't_ alone." Eggsy snapped petulantly.

Harry shot him that 'stop being a child' look he'd used in the Black Prince the day they'd met and Eggsy's heart skipped at the sight of it. "You know what I mean."

"I just wish she'd find someone better for her, you know? Someone who doesn't treat her like a piece of shit and knock her around because she didn't have his tea ready or made the mistake of answering back. – Someone nice like my dad. Like _you_."

"Are you hinting that I date your mum, because I…"

" _No_!" Eggsy replied quickly. "That would just be weird." So very weird considering how he felt about the older man. He shivered at the thought.

"Thank god. No offense."

"None taken. – Besides, I doubt she'd want you." He smirked.

"Why?" Harry gasped, his eyes narrowing.

"Well, I doubt she'd want to date the guy that came to our house a week before Christmas to tell her, her husband was killed."

Harry's face paled and he swallowed hard. "I…did that?"

Eggsy met locked eyes with him, nodding.

"Shit. I'm…sorry." He hung his head shamefully.

"Don't worry about it." Eggsy insisted. "At least you came in person and didn't send someone else, or worse a telegram or some shit."

"Still a week before Christmas." He shook his head.

Eggsy opened his mouth to try and ease the man's guilt only to be silence by the doorbell chiming though the house. "Diner." He announced, setting his still untouched scotch on the coffee table and getting to his feet. "You grab the plates and forks, I'll pay for the food." He headed for the door as Harry got to his feet and followed him, turn off towards the kitchen while Eggsy carried on to the hall, the pair meeting up a couple of minutes later at the dinner table.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Eggsy forgot he wasn't alone in the house when he woke the next morning and made his way down to the kitchen, J.B his usual happy eager self, rushing down the stairs ahead of him for breakfast. Eggsy laid the dog bowl down on the tiled floor and went about his usual morning routine of brewing tea.

He was just dropping the teabag in the sink when he heard footsteps behind him and turned sharply, spoon turned with the handle out ready to stab the intruder, only to be drawn up short at the sight of Harry, hair a dishevelled dark mass, curling in places; rubbing at his shadowed jaw and with his pyjama pants ridding low on his hips. Eggsy lowered the spoon slowly, his eyes fixed not on the bed hair or the roughness of Harry's jaw, or even on the slightly visible morning wood, but at the pale expanse of bare chest. The subtly defined muscle he'd spent the previous night fantasizing about and the scattering of chest hair, more grey than brown, not that that bother Eggsy or his dick.

Harry removed his hand and startled at the sight of Eggsy stood staring intensely at him. "Morning." He greeted with a smile and a heated look.

"Ah, Morning." Eggsy replied, clearing his throat and turning to his abandoned tea. "Kettle just boiled."

"Wonderful."

He listened as Harry moved closer to him, reaching up to grab a mug out of the top cupboard. Eggsy couldn't help but stare out of the corner of his eye at the movement of muscle under flesh, or the strong natural scent of the man beside him. Nothing like the cologne he'd come to associate with Harry over those few weeks of training. His tongue slipped out to brush across his lower lip as he poured the milk into his quickly cooling tea. "Sleep alright?"

"Better than I did in the infirmary." Harry replied nonchalantly, his arm brushing Eggsy's briefly as he reached for the milk.

"Good." Eggsy replied sharply, quickly stepping away and putting as much space between them as possible, without making it obvious. "So…what do you want to do today? I've got some time off before my next mission."

Finishing preparing his tea, Harry turned to lean back against the kitchen counter, regarding Eggsy, he shrugged. "I don't know. I…I'd really like to get some clothes." He sipped at his mug briefly. "I can't walk around in those suits."

Eggsy smiled as he raised his own tea, taking a large gulp, regarding Harry over the rim of the mug. "Shoppin' huh. I guess. – Though Guinevere said somethin' about reconnecting with your past, takin' you to familiar places, so maybe we can stop off at the Shop."

"Shop?" Harry frowned.

"Kingsman's."

"Oh. Huh…I guess." Harry sighed, dropping his gaze to his mug.

Eggsy watched Harry drink, a look of discomfort and nervousness on his face. "Come on Harry, there's nothin' to worry about. – Besides, I thought ya wan'ed to be a spy?" he chuckled, his brow raised.

"Yeah, but actually being one….especially when I can't remember anything, it's just a little difficult to get used to. – I'm pretty sure I'm _not_ James Bond." He scoffed.

Eggsy's smiled widened to encompass his whole face. "Bruv, you're _way_ more bad-ass than _James Bond_." he scoffed the name.

Harry stared at him sceptically, then flushed as he realised Eggsy was being utterly serious. He cleared his throat and turned his gaze to the kitchen. "So, breakfast?"

Eggsy smirked, overjoyed at the rosy hint coating the older man's cheeks, proud he'd been the one to put it there. He couldn't remember the last time he'd made someone blush, it was exhilarating in a way nothing else was. "Toast. – Or we could go out? There's a café not far. Then we could 'ead out on that shoppin' trip." He watched Harry's throat work and fought back a groan.

"I better go dress then."

"Yeah." Though he'd be perfectly happy to just stay there all day and ogle Harry. "Probly a good idea." He smirked, shooting his a wink.

As Harry vanished out of the kitchen with his mug, Eggsy craned his neck to watch him go, his eyes instantly drawn to the man's arse. "Fuck." He growled under his breath, looking down at J.B, who stared up at him, his brown eyes almost mocking and his head tilted. "Don't give me that look." Eggsy huffed, pushing off the counter and slowly following the path Harry had just taken, conscious of the quickly growing length in his boxers. Yeah, he was going to have to deal with that as quietly as possible.

 __Hartwin__

Breakfast in the greasy spoon a few blocks from the house went by almost without incident, and by incident Harry meant without him getting another stiffy, though it was a close call when Eggsy shoved almost a whole sausage down his throat while innocently looking at Harry. – If he didn't know better he'd swear the little shit had done it on purpose.

They talk about how everything was so different to how Harry left it. About the after effects of Valentine's plan and how most of the world was struggling to recover, every country fighting to grab at the power left behind. – How they'd been lucky, they still had a royal family. Valentine hadn't been able to convince the Queen of his genius and had the whole family moved to safety, apparently the British government weren't so steadfast. It had left the public mistrusting of politicians of any kind. It had done wonders for the royals though, squashing talk of a republic, mostly.

After breakfast, they'd headed for Oxford Street. Eggsy commented on how it was slowly getting back to its old self, the broken shop fronts repaired after the riot V-Day caused.

"We were lucky it wasn't December. Can you imagine the insanity of all those Christmas shoppers?" he murmured shaking his head.

Harry shivered at the thought, Oxford Street had been a nightmare when he was… _actually_ twenty, now it was a thousand times worse. He'd already had his foot stepped on three times while Eggsy seemed to move through the crowd with ease, shoving back when necessary. Harry wondered if it had anything to do with the bandage still covering his left eye. The doctor had said his coordination would be off for a while. Luckily people weren't staring, but that probably had to do with how many people around him were sporting their own war wounds.

Harry found himself staring as he walked through the throng of strangers. Nothing seemed real. The woman seemed to be barely dressed with skirts so short it was practically obscene and as for the men, while they had more fabric it was almost a second skin. He side glanced Eggsy who was dressed in a pale blue polo shirt and a pair of jeans that fit perfectly enough to flatter why still leaving something to the imagination. – And Harry's imagination had been having a field day.

"At least the economy is holding up. – It was touch and go for a while, everyone was a little squeamish about…well, everything really." Eggsy shrugged.

Harry nodded and listened, unable to comment with no real perspective on the situation. "I've never heard of half these stores." He commented.

"Yeah, obviously." Eggsy laughed, shouldering Harry across the pavement and into the doorway of a store. "I'm sure you'd probably prefer to go to somewhere posh like Harrods but it's not open right now."

"Valentine?" Harry frowned.

"Yep." Eggsy popped the word.

Harry nodded thoughtfully as he pushed open the glass door and stepped into the bright light and cool air of John Lewis. Eggsy moved quickly back to his side once they were both inside and together they made their way through the store to the men's department.

Once there, Eggsy waved a hand for Harry to go get what he needed and dropped down into a leather chair close to the changing rooms. "Are you sure you don't just want to stick to the suits?"

Harry shot him a warning look before wandering off in search of something un-suit-like. He strolled alongside the rails of clothing, tugging out items here and there, frowning down at them before either shoving them back or tossing them over his arm.

He headed back to find Eggsy fiddling with his phone. – Which still caused Harry' brows to furrow, gape at the same moment. – The blonde lifted his gaze as Harry approached.

"Done?"

Harry waved his arm.

"You should try them on." Eggsy smiled, nodding to the small room a few feet away.

Harry looked between Eggsy, who'd gone back to his phone, and the room. "What are you doing?"

"Not much, playing around." Eggsy frowned.

"Maybe you could phone you're mother." Harry said matter-of-factly.

Eggsy looked up through his lashes, eyes narrowing and lips a thin line. "Why?"

Harry stared at him for a few lingering moments before turning and heading towards the changing rooms.

\\*_*/\\*_*/

Eggsy watched after Harry, slouched down in the leather chair. He hated that look, the just-do-as-I-say look. Well Harry could go suck a lemon this time because like hell was he phone his mum. If she was stupid enough to get involved with Dean again after everything, well fine, he wasn't going to wait around to pick up the pieces and he didn't care what Harry said.

And it was easy for Harry to be so blasé about it now, he couldn't remember Dean or what a fucking bastard he was, _is_. He doesn't understand anything because he doesn't remember Eggsy's life. He lifted his eyes to look at the closed changing room door with a sigh. Harry didn't remember anything and that stung because they'd had something, he couldn't name it but it was there, had been there since he'd turned around to find Harry leaning against the police station wall. There was still something between them, Eggsy could feel that, only…it wasn't the same. There was something missing.

And yet there was also something new that hadn't been there before, a freedom. Harry's ease now was different than it had been before. That underlying electricity that seemed to have grown in its intensity. Eggsy liked to think it was because Harry wasn't exactly his usual prim and proper self. He wasn't a gentleman. – But part of him missed that.

He dropped his gaze down to his phone and let his thumb sweep over the screen, pulling up his contact list he stared down at his mum's number. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and hit the screen then lifted it to his ear, listening to the rings. He held his breath the longer it rang, a heavy weight in his gut. What if Dean had finally put his mum in the hospital?

" _Eggsy, sweetheart?"_

He took another breath before answering. "Hey Mum."

" _Oh Eggsy, I'm sorry about last night, I am."_

He pinched at the bridge of his nose with a weary sigh. "I know mum. – I just don't want you to get hurt. I want you to be happy with someone how deserves you, not…." He cut himself off, biting his lip.

" _I know Eggsy. I know. It's just…hard, baby. Dean's always been there for me."_

Eggsy shook his head. "No, mum, you've been there for him." He pressed. "Not the same thing. He's meant to make you feel like you're worthy not like you're lucky he puts up with you." He growled quietly, his gaze instinctively lifting to the changing room door. "He's meant to make you stronger, not weaker."

There was a sniffle down the line and he knew his mum was crying. _"I know."_

"Look." Eggsy exhaled, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his forehead in his palm. "We'll have a thing for my birthday, but not a party. We can go to the Merrick, okay. I'll text Jamal and Ryan, get them to meet up with us and we'll have a drink, just us. But _no_ Dean, Mum. I mean it, I see him I'm walking."

" _That sounds wonderful. – You're gonna bring Roxy right?"_

Eggsy sighed, smiling softly. "I'll see if she's free, she might be on a business trip. Fall collection and all that shit, you know, but I'll ask."

" _That's wonderful."_ The smile in his mum voice was clear down the line. _"And I promise, no Dean. I won't see him again."_

"Okay Mum, I'll call you later. Give my love to Daisy." He smiled sadly.

" _I will, love ya baby."_

"Love ya, mum." He murmured quietly, his cheeks flushing slightly as he lowered the phone and ended the call. When he looked up Harry was staring at him with that smug look on his face. "Oh, shut up. I wos gonna call anyway." He huffed. "You done?"

Harry nodded and Eggsy pushed himself off the chair and lead the way to the counter. "So did I hear you mention your birthday?"

Eggsy looked up at him as they paused in line. "Yeah. Saturday."

"And you're going out with your mum. That's nice." He said softly, a sad look passing over his face.

"You can come."

"I don't want to intrude." Harry shook his head, replying quickly.

"I was gonna ask anyway Harry, it's not intruding and it ain't anything big or intimate between me and mum, it's just drinks with friends."

Harry stared down at him uncertainly. "I don't know Eggsy…"

A cough brought their attention to the cashier and together they hurried up to the counter, Harry laying his pile of clothes down and reaching for his wallet.

"…I'm sure your mum isn't exactly going to be welcoming, not after the last time we met." He yanked out a couple of notes before Eggsy paused him with a touch to his wrist, pushing them back down and tugging at a gold plastic card.

"True but I can't hide you away forever, Harry. She's gonna find out 'bout ya eventually."

Harry looked down at him softly. "Maybe, but I doubt your birthday is the right time." He shook his head.

Eggsy sighed. "Come on, you don't really expect me to just leave ya in the house while I go out on the piss? – Unless ya think you're too old to keep up with me?" he challenged.

Harry glared down at him.

"That'll be a hundred and sixty-five pound ninety-eight." The Cashier interrupted coolly, her eyes flickering between them.

"Oh so _now_ I'm old?" Harry huffed, thrusting the card at the woman.

Eggsy shrugged. "You the one turning down a piss-up because you're scared of my mother."

"I'm not scared of your mother…"

"Sir, you're pin."

Harry turned to frown at her with a pinched look. "What pin?"

"Shit, I forgot." Eggsy sighed, shaking his head and reaching for his own wallet. "Here." He yanked Harry's card from the machine and slip his own in, leaning over to type in his number.

"Eggsy, that's not."

"Hey, you buy my clothes, I buy yours." He smirked, winking. When the woman cleared her throat again and handed over the receipt, Eggsy nodded at her, noticing for the first time the look she was giving them. He bit back the laugh. "Come on sweetheart." He said too sweetly, smiling at the cashier as he strolled causally away.

Harry glared after him, snatching the bags off the counter with a nod at the woman before racing after the other man. "What was that about?" he called.

"Nothing, just 'avin' a laugh." Eggsy murmured over his shoulder. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Harry asked, following him out of the store.

"I told you, we're gonna try getting your memory back." He stepped up to the curb and waved his arm and in moments a black cab was pulling up in front of them. Eggsy yanked open the door and climbed in, Harry following behind him.

Eggsy settled back against the leather seat with a sigh, watching Harry stare once again around the taxi, smirking slightly at the wonder. "Kingsman."

Harry nodded. "So they just follow you around?"

Eggsy laughed, shrugging. "Something like that."

Harry looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

 __Hartwin__

Eggsy lead the way though the solid wood doors of Kingsman Tailors while shooting him a reassuring smile over his shoulder. Harry was already suffering from a bout of deja vu that only intensified when he caught sight of the old man behind the counter fussing with fabric and looking busy.

"Hey George, how's the kids. Robert doin' okay?" Eggsy asked with a cheerful smile.

"Yes sir, thank you. His recovery's coming along in leaps and bounds." George nodded, looking past him with a suddenly pale look and wide eyes. "Mr Hart." He inclined his head.

"George?" Harry frowned, stared intensely at the old man.

George smiled, inclining his head. "How are you feeling Sir?"

"Well enough, thank you."

Eggsy spun suddenly to look up at him with a hopeful gleam in his eyes and left something hollow opened up in Harry's chest. "You remember?"

Harry coughed awkwardly. "I remember George." He whispered.

Eggsy's face fell with a look of betrayal. "Oh."

"My father used to come here. I didn't put it together until we pulled up and then I saw George." Harry rushed to explain, hating the look in Eggsy's eyes.

"I remember Sir." George said with a sad murmured. His gaze dropping mournfully to the fabric in front of him.

"Oh, right." Eggsy nodded. "Guess that makes sense. - Harry's having a few…issues." He said turning back to the old man.

"Yes, Merlin informed me." He smiled sympathetically at Harry. "I'm glad you're back on your feet, Sir. What may I do for you gentleman. A new suit?"

Eggsy snorted. "Not today, we're showin' Harry 'round."

George smiled warmly. "Oh of course."

"Come Harry." Eggsy whispered, heading to a door across the room on their left.

\\*_*/\\*_*/

Eggsy stood back to allow Harry into the fitting room before closing the door behind him. He watched as the older man turned slowly, his gaze cautious as it met Eggsy. He smiled softly up at the Harry, brow raised. "Nice innit?" fighting back a laugh as Harry's throat worked.

"Huh…" Harry shrugged. "Yeah." He glanced around the room, taking in the dark wood and green walls.

Eggsy snorted. "Last hook on the left." He nodded.

Harry turned, eye trained on the clothes hooks. Reluctantly he reached up and tugging at it, stepping back quickly as the wall swept inwards. Glancing over his shoulder, Eggsy waved him inside.

He remembered when Harry had shown him the room, the shelves of gadgets and weapons, it had felt liked he'd literally stepped into a James Bond movie, it was hard to get his head around. He could see the look of wonder on Harry's face now and grinned. "I know, right."

Harry shook his head as he moved further into the lager room. "What is all this?"

Eggsy rushed past him excitedly, like a small child anxious to show off his latest piece of art to a visiting parent. Not that he thought of Harry as a parent, nope, definitely _not_ a parent. "This…" he span with his arms outstretched. "…is our bag of tricks." He winked.

Harry strolled past the shelves.

"Anything look familiar?" Eggsy asked hopefully.

"No." Harry murmured, sitting down heavily on the bench.

Eggsy sighed, moving to join him. "Nothing at all?"

"Other than George, not a thing. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Eggsy whispered, dropping his gaze to his hands.

They fell in an awkward uncomfortable silence, Eggsy's knee jerking as he chewed on the inside of his lip, Harry sat beside him, stiff back and staring directly ahead. When a throat cleared a few feet away they both turned to see George hovering in the doorway.

"I'm sorry, Sir but…Percival wishes to speak to you."

Eggsy groaned. "That's probably about my trip." He got to his feet. "I shouldn't be long, you okay 'ere?"

Harry nodded. "Fine."

"Okay, I'll be quick." He rushed off, for the first time grateful for the distraction.

\\*_*/\\*_*/

Harry sighed as Eggsy practically ran away from him. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the man had hoped his memory would return, the look of disappointment in Eggsy's eyes when it hadn't would haunt him for a while, he knew. Especially when paired with that overjoyed smile he'd given him when he'd recognised George.

"Can I get you anything Sir?" George asked from the door.

Harry got to his feet and walked slowly towards him. "No thank you George." He sighed. "Unless you can somehow fix this." He tapped at his head.

"I'm afraid not, Sir."

Harry looked at the open door. "How do I close this?"

"Don't worry, I'll secure it."

Harry nodded gratefully and slipped out of the fitting room, taking a seat on the leather chair out in the main shop. He remembered coming to the shop as a boy with his father and waiting in probably this exactly chair while his father vanished into one of the fitting rooms. He'd always liked it here, George and the other staff were always nice to him. Sat there now he could almost be back there, ten years old sat for hours waiting for his father to be finished in the mysterious room. – Harry frowned suddenly, was his father…? He shook his head. No, he…he couldn't be.

"Sir?"

Harry looked up at George who was staring down at him with that look of sadness again, it shot straight through him.

"Sir, I… - I would like you convey my deepest sympathies at the passing of your father. He was a good man, Sir, despite…everything."

Harry stiffened. "My…father?" he took a sharp breath. "He's… _dead_?"

George's face suddenly dropped, his eyes widening with realisation. "Oh, I'm sorry Sir, I'd assumed Merlin had…" he trailed off, lowering his head regretfully. "My apologies."

"When?" Harry asked quietly.

George looked up at him, meeting his gaze directly. "A little over two months ago, Sir."

Harry stared blindly at the old man, his eyes suddenly painfully heavy and stinging, a pressure on his chest at the thought of his father's death, and him didn't even know if they'd reconciled. He may not have liked the man, they may have butted head but he was still his father, he still loved him. "H…How?"

George opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the rushing of heavy feet and Eggsy's bellowing voice from the back stairs.

"Quickest briefing in history." Eggsy announced, drawing to a stop between the two men, looking at the pair. "What? What's happened? Harry?"

Harry looked from Eggsy back to the old man. "George?"

George straightened stiffly. "I feel you should perhaps ask Merlin to explain the situation more fully Sir."

Harry's brows knitted even as his eyes widened. "He was a Kingsman, wasn't he?" he gasped breathlessly, his heart hammering in his chest.

George inclined his head.

"Who?" Eggsy frowned. "Harry, you look like your gonna puke, bruv. Are you okay?"

"No, I…" he took an unsteady breath. "I need to…can we go now?"

Eggsy frowned, stepping back. "Sure."

And like that Harry was on his feet and rushing to the door, throwing a choked goodbye called over his shoulder. Out in the street he inhaled a lungful of cool London air and closed his eyes, the stinging of tears intensifying.

"Harry?" Eggsy whispered besides him, his hand warm on Harry's arm. "Are you alright? Harry talk to me."

"I… - I need a drink." He turned to stare up and down the street. "Where's the nearest pub?"

Eggsy continued to watch him with concern, but poked his thumb behind him. "'round the corner."

Harry nodded sharply and marching off past the shorter man at speed, Eggsy rushing to keep up.

Harry burst through the doors of the King's Arms and straight up to the bar. "Your strongest scotch, large, no ice." He ordered.

"Pint of Carlin." Eggsy ordered breathlessly beside him.

The bar man slide the glass in front of Harry and he threw it back, breathing heavily when he lowered it. The glass was empty before Eggsy's beer was handed over and Harry hurriedly ordered another, constantly aware of Eggsy's eyes on him. With his new drink, Harry shoved a twenty at the man and marched over to a table in the corner, leaving Eggsy to collect his change.

"Okay, Harry, you've got to tell me, what's wrong? This isn't like you?"

Harry glared at him. "Maybe not the Harry you knew." He growled.

Eggsy sighed. "Fair point." He rubbed the condensation of the side of his untouched pint.

Harry tried to calm himself, it wasn't Eggsy's fault he couldn't remember the past thirty years. It wasn't Eggsy's fault his father was suddenly a mystery to him. – It wasn't Eggsy's fault his father was dead and he had no idea how or whether he was there or if they'd made-up. "My father's dead."

Eggsy froze, lifting his gaze to look at the man. "What?"

"George told me." Harry breathed. "He died, two months ago. – And he was a Kingsman." He shook his head angrily. "I had no fucking idea." He snapped, gulping at the scotch, not caring about the burn.

When he looked at Eggsy again he was pale. "Your father was a Kingsman?"

Harry shrugged. "According to George. – Did you know him?"

Eggsy shook his head. "I…we all have code names and the only guys I've met are Merlin, Percival and…Arthur." He breathed out in a rush. "Excuse me Harry, I need the bog."

Harry watched Eggsy rushed away like his arse was on fire and a heavy weight settled in his gut.

\\*_*/\\*_*/

Eggsy ran into the loo, his heart hammering painfully and a sick feeling settling in his stomach as he checked the room and yanked his glasses out of his jacket pocket, shoving them furiously on his face. "Merlin."

" _Galahad_ _, what's wrong?"_

Eggsy took a breath, bracing his hands on the edge of the sink and leaning forward to stare down at the fittings. "Merlin, I'm… - I need to know." He took an unsteady breath. "Was Arthur...Harry father?" he closed his eyes, praying he was wrong, praying that it was a coincidence. Praying that Harry's dad had retired a long time ago.

Merlin was silently for what felt like an eternity before he breathed a sigh and replied. _"Aye, Eggsy_ _,_ _he_ _was."_

"Fuck!" Eggsy growled, yanking the glasses from his face and tossing them unceremoniously into the sink, letting all his weight rest on his arms as he breathed heavily. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He'd killed Harry's father. _Tit for tat_. A heartless cold voice whispered at the back of his mind _. An eye for an eyes_. Eggsy growled, kicking at the wooden panel housing the sink _. It was self-defence. He was gonna kill you. He'd betrayed the Kingsman._ _\- he'd betrayed Harry_. That didn't make him feel any better, no matter what Arthur had done, he was still Harry's dad and Harry was taking his lose badly. How much worse was he going to take it when he discovered Eggsy had been the one to kill him?

That sick feeling in his stomach quadrupled and his head began to spin. Harry was never going to forgive him, would probably never want anything to do with him again. _He didn't even like his dad._ But that didn't matter, he was still his dad and he was dead because of Eggsy. That was all Harry was going to see, wasn't it. And they must have made-up if Harry had followed him into the Kingsman. He must have… Eggsy shook his head. "Fuck." He breathed.

 __Hartwin__

How they'd gotten home without Eggsy blabbing a guilty confession or Harry demanding to know why suddenly Eggsy couldn't look him in the eye, neither of them knew, but finally they were back at the house. Eggsy rushing in and straight for the stairs while Harry moved at a more solemn pace with his shopping in one hand and a curious and very concerned look on his face. He watched Eggsy disappear with a sigh and dropped his bags on the dining table as he headed for the lounge, for yet another drink. It was probably a bad idea consider how many he'd already had and how he was still recovering for his recent ill health, but he poured himself a large glass and made himself comfortable on the couch with a sigh.

He remained there for an hour maybe, in silent contemplation of his father when Eggsy finally made a reappearance. Harry craned his neck to look around the side of the armchair at the blonde, stood almost awkwardly in the doorway. He sat up, his eyes never leaving him. "Eggsy?"

"I did it." He announced.

Harry frowned, his brows drawn together in a tight line. "Did what?"

Eggsy took a deep breath. "I… - I killed him. You're father."

Harry froze, his whole body instantly turning to ice. Numb and immoveable.

"I'm sorry Harry." Eggsy breathed. "I didn't know. No one told me. – And it was self-defence, he tried to kill _me_ first." He said in a rush, his hands digging into the pockets of his jeans and his shoulders coming up tight against his head as if trying to make himself as small as possible. "He'd be compromised. He'd made a deal with Valentine and he wanted me to play along but…I couldn't Harry, not after that bastard killed you." In flinched at his own words.

Harry didn't so much as blink, the words seeping in, deep and painful. He placed his glass heavily on the table, the clink of glass against wood, loud in the silence. "You…killed him?" he whispered, getting to his feet.

Eggsy dropped his gaze, staring at his feet. "I didn't know he was your father, you never told me!" he snapped almost angrily, like he had any right to be angry.

"I never told you?" he gapped. "Why wouldn't I have told you that?"

Eggsy shrugged, his shoulders still tightly held. "I don't know." He sounded both hurt and regretful.

Harry turned away from Eggsy, dragging his hand through his hair and strolling aimlessly over to the large French windows that looked out on the large garden. Everything was just getting more and more confusing, harder to accept. He was really fifty-five, not twenty. He was a spy who'd survived an attempted execution. His father was a spy. His father was dead. Eggsy had killed his father. – How the fucking hell was any of this real? He shook his head, rubbing at his temples.

"Harry?"

"Go." Harry whispered between tightly clenched teeth. "Just… - I need time, please just…go." He heard Eggsy's sharp intake of air and then the speedy movement of feet against the carpet, the yapping of a dog in the distance and then the front door. He flinched as it fell shut with a loud bang and drew in a haggard breath, a tear slipping down his cheek.

Turning slowly, Harry made his way out of the lounge and up to his room, lowering himself on the bed with a wet sigh. Suddenly he felt his age.

* * *

 **A/N: The whole new world order that comes from V-Day hurts my head, it's so hard to even imagine. I just couldn't let the royal family be killed, especially not little Prince George, so I had two options, either killed everyone but George or have it so that the Kingsman were able to save the Queen and royal family before Merlin blew all their heads off. But I realized that the Queen has an intense loyalty to her people, so I think it's unlikely she'd agree to Valentine's plan. I can't imagine her allowing an American to turn her subjects into raving maniacs for the good of the planet, so I decided that much like Princess Trampy Face, the royals were ushered away by the government to another top secret bunker.**

 **I had to do the shopping scene, you could just imagine what the cashier was thinking listening to that conversation. And trust me, she was listening. Cashiers are nosy people, I know that from experience.**

 **I know my Arthur is Harry's dad may seem a little out there, but there was something about the way the pair were together that made me think it was a possibility. – And there was something kind of poetic about the idea of Harry causing Eggsy's father's death and then** **Eggsy killed Harry's dad.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It was dark when Harry's eyes fluttered open. He hadn't even realised he'd fallen asleep, he'd just closed his eyes when the pounding in his head had started. The sleep hadn't eased it, it was still there behind his eyes, hard and relentless.

He pushed himself up on the bed with a groan as his bones creaked slightly and the muscles in his back screamed. Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he rubbed at his eyes and took a deep lung filling breath. He didn't think he'd felt so shit since he'd graduated university and gone out of the razzle with his pals. Pushing himself up off the mattress he had to pause as the room span for a second, before he padded over to the bathroom to relief himself.

With his bladder empty he headed out on to the landing and down to the lower floor. The house was quiet. _Too_ quiet. He was stood at the tap filling a glass of water when it all came back to him. Eggsy's confession, the news of his father's secret life and death. – His own words as he told Eggsy to leave.

His stomach dropped to his toes as he realised how those words might have been interpreted. "Fuck." He growled. Leaving the glass untouched, he span on the balls of his feet and rushed out of the kitchen and up the stairs, bursting into Eggsy's room without knocking, his heart stuttering to a stop when he opened the wardrobe door and found it practically empty. "Fuck!"

He stood staring at the empty wardrobe with his heart racing. He hadn't meant for Eggsy to leave-leave. He'd just meant he needed time to think, needed time to recover from the overwhelming amount of information he'd gathered in only a few hours. – And now, he had no idea how to even tell Eggsy that. Had no idea where he'd go or how to get hold of him. _Kingsman_. A voice whispered in the back of his mind and Harry turned sharply, rushing back to his room.

On the chest of drawers was the small black device Merlin had handed him along with his wallet and house keys. He had no idea how to use it, not a damn clue, but he had an IQ of 130, how hard could it be? He stared down at the black screen, his brows pinched together tightly. "Dammit. How do you work these damn things?" he growled, turning it over in his hand. "Ahhh." He smashed his finger into the screen, growing increasingly frustrated. Suddenly it lit up. He hit at the screen again and watched as it bounded slightly, he swept his finger experimental and sigh with relief as the image of a lake vanished and he was left staring down at several small boxes.

His gaze scanned them, frowning, trying to deduce what to do next. Cautiously he tapped at a box labelled people and exhaled another relieved sigh at a list of names opened up to him. Instantly he scrolled down to Eggsy's, tapping it. **Call Mobile** , the screen stated and he tapped it holding his breath.

An images of Eggsy covered half the screen as it began to ring. He lifted it to his ear and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally there was silence and then Eggsy's voice. Harry's heart leapt into his throat. "Eggsy, look I'm…"

"Just drop ya number and I'll call ya later."

"Eggsy?" Harry winced as a loud beep pieced his earing and then more silence. "Eggsy? – Eggsy?" he sighed when there was no reply and lowered the phone, watching as it remained alight for a few minutes, Eggsy's face grinning up at him and then it vanished and he was once more staring at the little icons. "Fuck it."

 __Hartwin__

"It's Harry." Roxy said, holding out Eggsy's phone to him as he exited the bathroom on unsteady legs. He'd arrived at her place twenty minutes ago, three sheets to the wind with his bag hanging from one arm and JB from the other. She'd tried to get a straight answer out of him but he'd been impossible to understand.

"Just ignore it." Eggsy snapped, his voice slurring just a tad as he tugged the phone from her hand and tossed it onto the couch, swiftly following after it to crumbled back against the cushions.

"What's happened? Talk to me Eggsy?" she pressed, lowering herself down beside him with a concerned look.

"Nothink." He sighed, his head rolling back and his eyes drifting closed. "Everythink." He fell silent and Roxy prepared herself for not getting any answers from her friend tonight. She was about to get to her feet when he spoke. "I killed his father."

Roxy's perfect brows drew tightly together. "Pardon? Whose father?"

"'arry's. I killed him and now 'arry doesn't want anythink to do with me."

"You killed Harry's? Eggsy you're not making any sense." She shook her head.

Eggsy's head shot up from the cushion to fix his friend with a hard glare. "What doesn't make sense? I killed Arthur! I killed Harry's father!"

Realisation bloomed over the young woman's face. "Arthur? Arthur's... _was_ …Harry's father?"

"Exactly, and I killed him and now Harry hates me and he'll never trust me again!"

Roxy shook her head quickly. "He'll understand Eggsy, once you explain what…"

"I did. I told him it was self-defence, that Arthur was gonna kill me and you know what he said?"

Roxy held her breath.

"Get out."

She exhaled in a long rush of air, her head dropping forward as she reached for him. "I'm sorry, Eggsy." She squeezed his hand. "But I'm sure it was just shock and…he's having to deal with a lot all at once, Eggs. It was probably just too much." She pulled the mobile from under her arse and held it out to him. "But he's called which means he wants to talk. Maybe he just needed time to get his head around it all."

Eggs stared at the phone, torn, but then he shook his head. "You weren't there, Rox. You didn't see the way he…" he swallowed thickly. "He hates me. He's probably just calling to tell me not to bother coming back ever."

Roxy raised a brow at him. "Right, because that's what people do after kicking someone out, phone them to tell them _not_ to come back."

Eggsy glared over at her.

"Look, just call him back, Eggs. _Please_."

Eggsy looked at the phone again, shaking his head determinedly. "Do you mind if I crash in your spare room?"

Roxy sighed, watching as Eggsy and JB headed for the room before she'd said a word. When the bedroom door closed behind her friend she slouched back into the couch, his phone still in her hand. Exhaling again, she reached for her glasses, sliding them one her nose and staring into nothing. "Merlin?" she called softly. "You still there?"

" _Lancelot, what's wrong?"_

Roxy shook her head. "Eggsy's at my place, he's left Harry or more precisely according to Eggsy, Harry throw him out but Harry's called and he's left a message."

" _I see."_

"Eggsy told me about Arthur." Roxy informed him matter-of-factly. "And Harry knows Eggsy's responsible."

" _Shet."_

"Exactly."

" _Leave et t' me, Lancelot. I'll deal weth Harry."_

"What about Eggsy?"

" _What's he doin' now?"_

"He's crashing in my spare room."

" _Good, I'll….deal with_ him _tomorrow_ _."_

There was the familiar sound of the connection being cut and Roxy slipped her glasses off her nose and set them reluctantly on the table. Settling back into the sofa as her Poodle climbed up beside her, its head on her lap. "Men." She whispered, brushing her fingers over the coarse tinkled fur.

 __Hartwin__

Harry sat on his couch in a house that didn't feel like home, that was too silent and too unfamiliar, feeling lost and with literally no one to call for help. He stared into nothing, listening to the silence as his tea cooled in his hands, eventually growing a layer of film on the top. He'd spent twenty minutes trying to decide whether to call Merlin or one of the other names on his phone, but they were all strangers and he didn't need to feel more lost than he already was. He'd tried calling Eggsy again, only to get that deceiving voice, then nothing.

If it weren't for the pounding in his head he'd probably have drunk what was left of that damn bottle of scotch. He just wished Eggsy would talk to him, let him explain.

It was weird how quickly he'd accepted Eggsy being in his life, how much his sudden absent left a gaping hole in the center of Harry's chest. He didn't blame him for whatever had happened with his father, he knew from experience how the man was and Eggsy had said it was self-defence and while he'd never imagined his father being capable of attempted murder, he also hadn't imagined his father being a spy, so…

Sitting there alone allowed Harry the chance to think, to remember. Specifically the last time he and his father had spoken. To him it was only a few weeks ago, when he'd informed the man he'd been accepted to Sandhurst. He remember his father's cool distant stare as he'd told him that he'd better not screw it up and that he should remember the army didn't take kindly to his kind, so he'd better watch himself and don't try anything. Harry had known exactly what he'd meant. He hadn't stayed around for anymore of his father's disgusted disregard, and the man's parting shot had skimmed a little too close.

But obviously something had changed between then and now if they were both working for Kingsman. They must have buried the hatched at some point. – But did that mean his father had accepted him as he was, or had the army truly _straightened_ him out'?

Harry set his mug on the coffee table and rubbed at his temples. He wished he could remember. Wished something, no matter how small, would come back to him because this was worse than anything he'd ever experience; not knowing his own life, it was…wrong.

Lifting his head, Harry looked around the room at the unfamiliar furniture and paintings, it all seems so impersonal. How had he come to this? When did he stop being him and start being his father.

The chime of the doorbell startled him and he looked over his shoulder for a second before rushing to his feet and out to the hall, yanking the door open with a surge of hope that shattered to pieces. "Merlin?"

"Harry." The man nodded. "Thought you might fancy some company." He held up the brown paper back that smelled like Chinese food.

His being there told Harry instantly he knew Eggsy wasn't. "You've spoken to him?" he asked, that burst of hope in his chest again.

Merlin shook his head. "Lancelot told me he'd left. Said you threw him out."

Harry sighed, shaking his head. He turned around and left the other man to close the door as he headed into the kitchen. He yanked open the cupboards to grab two plates. "I didn't _throw_ him out, not… - I asked him to leave, I meant for a while, to let me think. I didn't expect him to pack his fucking bags!" he snapped angrily, dropping the plates on the dining table with a loud clutter. "Where is he?"

"Weth Lancelot. Don't worry, she'll look after hem."

"She?" Harry frowned.

Merlin smiled. "Aye _she_. – And don't gev me that look, they're just friends. Not that et's any of your concern if they were mor, righ'?" He added meaningfully.

Harry flushed and headed back into the kitchen for…nothing. He came back with two glasses of water and set them on the table before pulling out a chair, Merlin taking the seat across from him that only twenty-four hours ago was occupied by Eggsy. He tried not to acknowledge how wrong it felt.

Merlin started pulling out cartons from the bag and setting them down. "Ets ben a long time since we ded thes." The man said with a smile. "Even before the accident."

"Getting shot in the head isn't an accident." Harry murmured. "It's carelessness."

Merlin looked at him with wide eyes then laughed. "Aye." He nodded, thrusting a carton of food at Harry. They lost themselves in filling their plates for a silent few minutes before Merlin spoke again. "I should 'ave told you myself. I'm sorry, Harry."

Harry looked up through his lashes, his fork poking at the rice and noodles on his plate. "Why didn't you?"

"I thought you had enough to deal weth wethout knowin' your father had tarnished everything we stood for." Merlin dropped his fork and leant back in his chair. "Et's still hard to believe, Harry, even now. – And…weth the added issues of the circumstances… I just felt you should 'ave time to settle before I broke the news."

Harry exhaled slowly, his lips drawn into a tight line. "I…" he swallowed hard. "The hardest part is that I don't remember us even…" he shook his head.

"Reconciling?" Merlin finished, as if reading his mind. "Et took a long while."

"How long?"

"Years." Merlin replied softly, meeting Harry's gaze. "Long time after you became a Kingsman."

Harry frowned. "You mean he gave me a job before we…"

Merlin snorted. "No, he didn't gev you the job, Harry." He shook his head. "Robert Winslow, was retiring as Galahad, he put you forward for the job, much to your father's displeasure."

"Robert?" Harry gasped. "My god-father was…" he shook his head. "Was there anyone in my life who _wasn't_ a spy?"

Merlin laughed. "Et's how it works, Harry. – Your father…" he continued, going back to the root of the subject. "He didn't think you'd make it, imagine his surprise when you passed with flyin' colours. You left everyone in the dust. – He still wasn't happy, considering your …" he smiled softly. "Preferences. Tried to convince the table not to accept you, thankfully Arthur – Greyson Lawrence, wasn't havin' any of et. Said you'd surpassed any candidate by miles and that your preferences weren't necessarily a hindrance."

Harry frowned. "Meaning?"

"Meaning Harry, that the upper classes after filled with Nancy's always on the lookout for a handsome young man."

Harry winced inwardly, shoving his plate away. "I can't believe I agreed to that?"

"Personally I think you were out to steck two fingers up at your father, I don't thenk you cared much for the long term."

Harry breathed heavily, tapping his fingers against the polished wood of the dining table. "So we…didn't actually reconcile?"

"Eventually." Merlin murmured. "Though you still butted heads, especially when et came to…candidates."

Harry looked up sharply. "Eggsy?"

"Et started with his father actually. You know how your father was a snob, he didn't like the idea of bringing a 'uncivilized' common soldier into the fold."

Harry huffed sadly. "Sounds right. You'd think we're from a long line of blue bloods the way he acts. He tries to ignore the fact his grandfather was in trade." He smirked.

Merlin laughs. "Yeah. Kings Road wasn't et?"

Harry nodded with a chuckle. "Just because my grandfather, him and me went to Eton, Harrow and Cambridge, he thinks we're better than everyone else." He shook his head.

"Yeah. - Sadly when Lee died during training, he decided he was right. He never let you forget it, despite the fact that Lee was one of the best candidates we'd seen in years and he'd lived up to the ideals of the Kingsman by sacrificing himself to save the team, your father just saw a workin-class ruffian."

Harry's stared at the scot, his eyes wide. "Sacrificing himself?"

Merlin met his gaze with sudden clarity and a sadness that wasn't there before. "Yeah." He nodded. "It was during the final test, we were taking down a group of Afghan's. It was meant to be…simple, capture and interrogate. – It was... You missed a grenade when you were searching him."

The air shot out of Harry's chest, his head spinning, swirling painfully. "I… - I got his father _killed_?"

"He knew what he was signing up to, Harry. He knew the risks."

Harry shoved back the chair and marched over to the drinks table, pouring himself a large one, screw the hangover still haunting him. "Does Eggsy know?"

"Of course."

Harry let out a soft broken sound in the back of his throat. "How the hell can he so much as look at me?"

"Because he understands Harry."

Harry threw back the scotch and quickly poured another, shaking his head. "So I killed his father and he killed mine. An eye for an eye then."

"That's not what happened, Harry!" Merlin snapped. "What Eggsy did, he had to do. Your father…" he huffed frustratedly. "He was going to kill Eggsy, it was self-preservation. – Beside, he had no idea Arthur was your father! If you need proof, Harry, I'll show you the surveillance."

Harry shook his head. "I… - No."

A thick silence settled between them, Harry stood staring down into the crystal cut glass and the warm amber liquor within. He felt sick again, though whether it was from the drink or the revelation that he'd killed Eggsy's dad he couldn't tell. "This is all a mess." He whispered eventually.

"I know."

The silent was filled with the sound of their breathing and then the scrap of porcelain against wood as Merlin dragged his cold food back towards him. Harry inhaled slowly and moved back to the table, carrying two glasses and pushing one over to the other man who nodded his gratitude.

"What happens if I never get my memory back?" Harry asked his plate.

"Honestly, Harry, I have no idea. – Thes…" he waved his fork aimlessly. "…caught us all off guard. We'd hoped that when you woke, _if_ you woke, you'd still be Harry. We thought you'd retake your place at the table, in one form or another. – Thes…we don't know what to do about this."

Harry sighed, nodding.

"Let's just give et some more time, okay. Et's only been a couple of weeks."

Harry stared down at his plate, unconvinced. Two weeks was a long time, surely something should have come back, no matter how small. A feeling. A brief thought, but there'd been nothing.

 _There was Eggsy._ His brain reminded him. _You felt Eggsy. You know he's…important_. "What do I do about Eggsy?"

Merlin looked up from his food though his lashes. "Talk to 'em. - Just not tonight."

"That won't be a problem." He murmured regretfully, lifting a forkful of cold rice to his lips.

The rest of the evening passed in casual conversation, Merlin trying his best to jog Harry's memory with tale of their time together as Kingsman. Harry asking question about the world at large and how if was ever going to recover from the horrific events of V-Day. When midnight finally rolled around, the pair were the wrong side of shit-faced, Merlin passed out on the couch. Harry lumbered up to his room. He paused in the doorway of Eggsy's and sighed at the empty unmade bed before continuing on. Tomorrow he'd try calling him again, try to get the guy to listen and maybe convince him to move back.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry the chapters so short, it just felt like the right place to end it.**

 **Feedback is greatly appreciated.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Eggsy stepped out of Roxy's spare bedroom with a head that felt like there'd been a bowling ball implanted where his brain should be and a mouth that tasted like he'd spend the night snogging J.B. – Which was probably the most disturbing mental images Eggsy had ever inserted into his brain. EVER. Roxy looked perfect of course, when the fuck didn't she? With her hair pulled up into a respectable knot and her suit perfectly ironed and fitted. While there was he, stood in crumbled jeans and wrinkled, stretched out polo because he'd been too pissed and too fucking tired to undress.

"You heading into the shop?" he asked as he helped himself to tea and two aspirin.

"No, _we're_ heading into the shop." She said firmly. "Emergency came up, Merlin wants us in as soon as possible. – By the way, Harry wants you to call him back." She held out his phone to him.

Eggsy stared at it as if it would explode if he touched it, before taking a breath and wrapping his fingers around it. "What's the emergency?" he asked, ignoring the subject of Harry.

"I don't know." Roxy sighed frustrated. "You'll just have to get dressed and come find out, won't you?"

Shooting Roxy a pitiful look he threw back the aspirin and carried his tea into the bathroom, calling over his shoulder. "Could ya be a princess and feed J.B for me, Rox?"

"Considering how you treat princesses', I'd rather not." She called back, fetching a tin of premier dog food from her cupboard.

Eggsy groaned at the reminded of his encounter with a certain member of the Danish royal family. Fuck Merlin for telling her. At least they didn't know he hadn't been able to follow through to the end, cause if this was how Rox behaved thinking he'd slept with the woman, he hated to think what she'd be like if she knew the truth of the matter.

Setting his mug on the side, he stared down at his phone for a moment, contemplating whether or not to call Harry. He really wanted to talk to him, if only to explain. If only to say he was sorry over and again, but…he couldn't bring himself to. He couldn't face the cold distance he knew was going to be there between them. So he laid the mobile down next to his tea and began to strip out of his clothes while turning on the shower.

 __Hartwin__

Merlin looked as fucking awful as Eggsy felt, at least _he_ wasn't wearing sunglasses inside. "Good night Merlin?" Eggsy smirked.

"Yes actually." Merlin grumbled, shooting Eggsy a hard look that was clear despite the tinted glasses between them.

Eggsy shifted awkwardly on his feet, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning back against another desk, while Roxy stood straight backed and proper. "Date?"

"Yes." He smiled. "Scotch and Chinese with Harry. – Shame ya couldnee join us, but I understand ya were being a child."

Eggsy pressed his lips together hard.

"But that is _not_ why I called ya in. There's ben a development with the Turks. I need the two of ya to head to Istanbul and collect an intel package from one of our feet on the ground. It shouldn't take more than a couple of days." Merlin informed them, his accent stronger than usual.

Eggsy huffed. "Good, cause I've got plans this weekend."

Merlin stared at him. "I'm sorry if the safety of the world is inconveniencing ya. I'll be sure ta link up out calendars with the global threat matrix in future." He snapped sarcastically.

Eggsy glared. "That's not what I meant! Fuckit Merlin, don't' take your fuckin hangover out on me!"

" _My_ hangover?" the older man scoffed before taking a deep breath. "You are quite right, Galahad, I apologise." He inclined his head. "Your mission parameters are already uploaded to your tablets, you leave in thirty minutes. Dismissed."

Eggsy shoved himself off the desk and marched furiously out of the room, leaving a concerned Roxy to deal with a hungover and irritated Merlin.

He made his way down to the armoury to collect his necessities then towards the hanger. In his pocket his fingers fiddled anxiously with his phone, his teeth worrying at his lip. Things were so much simpler in his old life, when his biggest problem was Dean. He didn't have to deal with the complexities of…feelings and relationships. – Or guilt.

He'd never felt like he'd betrayed someone before and it was an uncomfortable weight on his shoulders. Sure he knew logically that it hadn't been a betrayal and if Harry had been himself, he'd probably understand what Eggsy had done. In fact he'd probably have done it himself. – But that was the thing, wasn't it, Harry wasn't himself. He wasn't the man that had given him an assessing look then told him flat out that he'd fucked up his life and his father wouldn't have been proud. He wasn't the man who'd offered him a whole new world and that was all part of the problem, he was stuck between two men in the same body.

It wasn't that he didn't like this new Harry, he did. He loved the ease that came with shredding the suit. He loved that he was less up tight and more open to the more blatant flirtation Eggsy was used to risking out. But he missed all those things too. He missed the subtlety of old Harry. He missed the illusion of a challenge. He missed the suits and the directness and the polish that was just screaming for Eggsy's own brand of tarnish. He missed the way he looked at him and spoke to him and just…existed in the same space as him, no expectations and no discrimination.

 _His_ Harry would have simply looked him in the eyes when he'd confessed to killing Arthur and told him it was alright, that he'd done what he'd had to do and Eggsy would have believed him and the guilt would have slipped away. He wouldn't have made Eggsy feel like he'd just driven a fucking tank though Harry's life.

So Merlin could go fuck himself, because he had no idea. No god damn idea how hard all this was. Harry was his friend, but to Eggsy, he was so much more.

 __Hartwin__

"When will he be back?" Harry asked over the table, Merlin's eyes half on the electronic pad in front of him and half on Harry.

Merlin had sent a car for him to bring him to the shop for tea, so the scot could inform him in person he'd sent Eggsy to Turkey.

"It shouldn't take more than a couple of days, assuming everything goes as planned."

"That doesn't sound particularly reassuring Merlin." He murmured, sipping at his tea.

Merlin looked up from small screen. "He'll be fine, Harry."

Harry slumped against the leather chair and looked out at the silent street beyond the Kingsman window. "Did he say anything? I tried calling him again but…"

"He doesn't have his phone, it's in a lock box at the Castle. – And no, he didn't say anything."

"Were we always like this?" Harry asked quietly on a sigh. "It feels wrong."

Merlin met his gaze with confusion. "Us?"

"Me and Eggsy."

"Oh. – it's hard ta say, you'd only known each other about…two months before…" he touched the side of his head discreetly. "And then most of the time he was training and you were in your first coma. I supposed you'd probably known each other…seventy-two hours all in all, just the pair of you. So I have no idea what you're like around each other outside of the Castle."

"Wait, we…two months?"

Merlin bobbed his head from side to side. "More or less."

Harry stared at his friend, his eyes narrow and considering. Two months? They'd known each other only two months before his 'accident'. How was that possible? Everything about Eggsy screamed to a life time of acquaintance. Sure he knew that wasn't possible, but he'd though they'd known one another longer than two fucking months. – There was an intimacy, something deep and fundamental that came from years of acquaintance, surely. Though he'd apparently known Merlin decades and didn't feel anything close to it.

Harry dragged his hand through his hair. Nothing made sense. Was it all down to his memory loss? Maybe it was because at least emotionally he was twenty and Eggsy was twenty-three. Maybe he felt a connection because inside they were the same age.

"May I get you more tea Sir?" the young apprentice asked with a slight bow.

Harry looked up at the man, he couldn't me more than a year younger than him – Or at least how he felt. – And yet he felt no kinship with him, no desire to sit and talk. No attraction.

"No thank you Matthew, I've got to get back to work. Harry?"

Harry dragged his gaze from the young man. "No. I'll just head home. Thank you." He added with a polite smile to the young man.

Merlin nodded, getting to his feet. "I'll call you later."

Harry inclined his head as he pressed his hands into the leather cushions and pushed himself to his feet, groaning slightly at the way his bones creaked.

Merlin laughed. "Maybe you should think about getting some excised, before you seize up. You're always welcome to use the facilities at the Castle."

"I'll keep that in mind. – I'll talk to you later. Oh, Merlin…" he called as the other man headed towards the backroom.

"Yes."

"If you speak to Eggsy…" which he knew he would. "Can you…" he chewed the inside of his lips awkwardly. "Tell him to be careful." He whispered.

Merlin stared at him for a long moment before nodding his agreement. "See you later, Harry."

 __Hartwin__

Eggsy slouched in the back of the cab with a groan and allowed his head to roll back against the customized brown leather. His jacket and waistcoat where hanging open and his tie was dangling around his neck. J.B's headed nudged up against the outside of his thigh.

"Home Sir?" the driver asked though the small window.

"Yeah, Rob." He sighed, closing his eyes and listening to the gentle hum of the motor.

The mission had gone according to plan, not that anyone expected differently. They'd been a slightly scuffle an hour before their flight that had thankfully nothing to do with the mission and everything to do with Eggsy being tired, hot – Because as wonderful as it was to have bullet proof suits, they weren't exactly the most convenient garment in the murderous late summer heat in Turkey. He might have to talk to Merlin about that. - And fed-up. He just wanted to get back to the unpredictable weather of England and a nice bed, and a cup of proper tea.

He was half asleep within minutes, which was half the reason why he didn't realise the driver had taken him to a small white house in Knightsbridge. Even as he climbed out of the car and let himself in, J.B rushing past him.

He had a foot on the first step when the sound of music filtered through the dining from from the lounge, catching his attention. He reached into his jacket and removed his weapon for the holster and inched his way towards the door, quietly pushing it open and…freezing, his eyes fixed on the lowered dark head of hair, bobbing along as it strummed a guitar. Eggsy didn't move or make a sound, transfixed by the sight.

"Oh, please don't take it so badly, cause lord knows I'm to blame. – But if I stay here with you girl, things just couldn't be the same…"

Eggsy's lips curved at the corner as he leant back against the door frame, one hand in his trouser pocket while the other hung limply at his side, his fingers still wrapped around his weapon. He crossed his ankle, one foot tapping along. Harry didn't have a terrible voice, though he wasn't exactly Ed Sheeran either. He could carry a tune though and it left a warmth in Eggsy's chest listening to him. There was a small voice in his mind telling him he shouldn't be spying, that it was rude, but hey he's a spy, it's what he does now, right?

"Cause I'm as free as a bird now, yeah, and this bird you cannot change. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And this bird you cannot chan-ge. And this bird you cannot change…"

Eggsy watched as the dim lights of the living room danced over the slightly curled mop of hair as Harry continued to rock his head in time with the music. He still hadn't gotten it cut and Eggsy couldn't deny he liked it, it just screamed to have his fingers combed through it, curling around the strands and giving it a pleasurable yank. His breath hitched at he thought just as Harry lost himself completely to the music, the tempo building as best it could on an acoustic guitar.

"Lord I can't chan-ge."

The moment was broken though when J.B strolled in from what Eggsy could only assume was the kitchen and marched as if he owned the place over to the couch to stare up at Harry, causing the man to hit a bum cord, yelp and leap to his feet, his head shooting up to stare flushed and wide eyed at Eggsy. He couldn't help but smirk at the older man's startled look, a brow raised questioningly.

"E-Eggsy?" he panted and didn't that just do all kinds of things to Eggsy's libido.

"Hey." He smiled slyly. "Great show." Straightening and pushing himself off the frame. "I didn't know you could play?" he nodded to the guitar hanging limply from Harry's hand.

"I guess I stopped." He replied tightly with a small shrug. "I found it in the attic." He cleared his throat, setting the guitar on the couch. "You're…back?"

"Oh, yeah." Eggsy shifted, suddenly noticing the weight in his hand and moving to slip his weapon back in his jacket. "Sorry, I forgot to tell Rob to drop me off at…" he shrugged. "Somewhere else."

Harry was silent for a long moment. "I…I didn't want you to move out." He said tightly. "That wasn't want I meant, I just needed time to think. It was a lot to get my head around. – I never meant for you to… _leave_. – I tried calling but…"

Eggsy flushed, his gaze dropping to the floor. He slipped his hands deep into his trouser pockets and folded in his shoulders again. "I… yeah, sorry, bruv, I… I got hammered and pretty much passed out in Rox's spare room." It wasn't the complete true but he didn't think that really mattered right now.

"Oh…" Harry sighed, mirroring Eggsy stance somewhat, his hands in his pockets, though his shoulders were back and his spine was straight.

"And then Merlin sent us out of a mission so…"

"Yeah, he mentioned."

Eggsy stared at the older man intensely, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach. "Right, yeah, he mentioned you guy were…seeing each other."

Harry stared back at him, his brow raised and Eggsy's stomach did a flip because that was the look Harry used to give him, before he'd forgotten who he was, who they _both_ were. "We had dinner and we've been meeting for lunch, which hardly constitutes 'seeing each other'." He scoffed.

Eggsy's innate sarcasm reared its head. "Isn't it kinda awkward eating in separate rooms?" he smirked.

Harry narrowed his eyes and it was another of those looks and yet again Eggsy felt his heart double over. "Being a smart ass isn't attractive."

Eggsy scoffed. "My ass has always been attractive." He countered with a wink, a wide grin spreading over his face at the dark blush that coated Harry's cheeks and neck.

For the first time Eggsy took in Harry full appearance, his eyes roaming from head to toe and back again. He was barefoot with the bottoms of his jeans hanging just a little over his feet. The jeans themselves were a nice stonewash blue, and seemed to be the perfect balance of trendy and smart-casual. Just the right side of age appropriate. They made his thighs look fab and Eggsy couldn't wait for him to turn around so he could check out the arse. – They were paired with a simple black t-shirt, which hung off Harry's strong wide shoulders perfectly. The short sleeves giving Eggsy as view of the tanned muscled biceps he'd seen the morning everything had gone tits-up. And the bandage over his left eye was gone, leaving behind slightly red rimmed skin, but it didn't look too bad. Overall Harry looked decidable fuckable and God, Eggsy really wouldn't say no right now. – Sadly it seemed his body would, as a loud trembling yawn rocked him back on his heel for a second.

"You should go to bed." Harry said fondly.

It took every ounce of self-control to bit back the 'only if you come with me.' "Hmm. – You don't…"

"I don't mind, Eggsy. I…would…" he shrugged a shoulder. "I don't like being here alone, it's too unfamiliar."

Eggsy's chest ached at the confession, suddenly regretting leaving at all. "I'm sorry Harry. About…'verything."

"Merlin explained it all Eggsy. It wasn't your fault." He insisted firmly, eyes locking with Eggsy over the back of the sofa. "You're rooms there if you want it." He informed him hopefully.

"And we're…good?"

Harry smiled warmly. "We're good."

"Thanks Harry." Eggsy grinned. "Night, then."

"Night Eggsy. Sleep well."

Eggsy looked over at him for a long moment, there was no way in hell he was sleeping well tonight, not with Harry looking like that. "You too." He whispered hoarsely. "Come on J.B."

He made it up to his room, the door firmly closed before he let rip with the most pathetic moan of his life, falling down on the made bed he let his head fall into his hands. "I'm so fuckin' fucked, J.B." he growled, turning to look at the Pug, who stared up at him with his large brown eyes, his head tilted to the side slightly and Eggsy could swear he could read his thoughts and they clearly said, laughingly.

 _You so are Bruv._

 __Hartwin__

Harry panted heavily as he dragged his hand though his sweat soaked hair and stepped back through the front door, allowing it to fall closed behind him with a loud click. Turning left he strolled warily into the dining room, skimming around the table to make his way to the kitchen, his thighs and carves screaming. Yanking open the fridge, he retrieved the bottle of water he'd stashed away before leaving just after 6:30. It was now almost 8 and he was as wet as the bottle in his hand. Tipping his head back, he began to gulp down the cold water with a sigh of relief. It felt like a life time since he'd ran so much, though his body didn't seem to be lacking in excised. He figured it probably had more to do with spending two months flat on his back in a coma.

A sound to his right had Harry peering out from his closed eyes, the water still filling his mouth, to catch sight of Eggsy marching into the kitchen, J.B at his ankles, dressed only in his underwear. Harry couldn't have stopped the wet choke if he'd tried.

"You okay there, gov?" Eggsy snorted, moving around the kitchen with a familiar ease, fetching the kettle.

Harry lowered the bottle from his lips and coughed. "Fine. – I'm… _fine_." He croaked. "You sleep well?"

"Yep." He nodded, settling the kettle to the flame. "You?" he turned to look Harry up and down. "Wha the hell 'appened to you?"

Harry swiped at his forehead with the back of his forearm. "Went for a run. Merlin mentioned I might want to start excising."

Eggsy leant back against the counter, arms folded over his chest and eyes still roaming. Completely ignoring his yapping frustrated pug. "I guess two months on your back might make you a bit flabby." he smiled slyly.

"I'm not in that bad a shape." Harry argued, lifting the hem of his shirt to reveal his practically flat middle. "Better than I'd thought I'd be at fifty."

Eggsy swallowed thickly, his face glowing a light red. "Yeah." He turned sharply away to finally see to J.B's breakfast, allowing Harry's gaze to refocus on the curve of his arse in his black cotton briefs, tightly fitted to the swells.

Harry's breath hitched slightly, his tongue darting out to sweep over his lower lip. "So what are your plans? Have you got to go in for a debriefing?"

Eggsy nodded as he scooped the strongly scented dog food into the silver bowl. "Yeah, then I'll head back to Roxy's place."

Harry inhaled sharply. "Oh?"

Eggsy looked over at him with a soft curve to his lips. "Grab my stuff. – Unless, you've changed your mind about me…"

" _No_." Harry answered quickly before clearing his throat and trying desperately to look like it was unimportantly one way or the other. "No."

Eggsy watched him closely before chuckling and turning to the kettle when it began to whistle. "What about you? Plans?"

"Not really. It's seems my life's pretty dull. Reminds me of growing up in Kent."

Eggsy poured the boiled water into his mug before shooting him a questioning look, the kettle raised. Harry nodded and watched as Eggsy grabbed another from the cupboard and poured more water. "Maybe you should get a job?" he laughed. "I know a man in Camden Market who could probably do with a hand."

Harry widened his eyes in mock horror. "How dare you! A gentleman does not scream _apples, four fa a pound_!" he yelled, putting on his best cockney accent. "…at the top of his lungs. Most undignified." He snorted.

Eggsy laughed, his smile swallowing his face. "Prat." He huffed. "Pass the milk, if that's not too undignified."

Harry lifted his chin rebelliously even as he turned and pulled the plastic bottle out of the fridge door before carrying it over to Eggsy. "But seriously, I don't think working in a market is really for me, but perhaps your right about the job."

Eggsy finished with the milk and set it aside, adding the sugar… "How many?"

"Two please."

"You already have a job, Harry. Or at least you will when you're back to your old self."

Harry took the offered mug. "And if I never get my memory back?"

Eggsy looked up at him with a sudden sadness in his gaze. "I…" he shook his head. "I don't know." Dropping his gaze to the tea. "Maybe you can…retrain." He shrugged. "Maybe…you could…I don't know, be Merlin's tea boy."

Harry stared down at him. Eggsy was trying to lighten the mood once more, brush it off with a joke, but Harry could see the look on his face. The regret and sorrow, like they were somehow talking about someone else instead of him. It left a sower taste in Harry's mouth and a cold icy weight in his stomach. "Eggsy…"

"Let's just give it a couple more weeks, 'kay, then we'll start thinking about… - Maybe you should talk to Guinevere, maybe she knows some psychiatrist way to get your memories back."

Harry's sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Yeah, maybe." It was ridiculous, truly ridiculous but he was actually jealous of himself.

"Great, brill. So I should go get dressed, Percy will be expecting me." Eggsy announced, making a quick escape from the sudden tension that seemed to have suffocated the warm, friendly and flirtatious atmosphere of only a few minutes ago.

Harry watched him go with a sigh and glanced down to where J.B was still eating. "What am I meant to do, huh?" he asked the dog, who didn't so much as flick an ear in his direction. "What if I can't be…the man he wants again?"

At that the dog lifted his head and stared up at him with soulful brown eyes, huffed then went back to his food like Harry hadn't said a word.

"Thanks. Very helpful." He grumbled, pushing himself off the kitchen counter, setting his mug back down and following after Eggsy.

 __Hartwin__

"And what if he doesn't get his memory back?" Roxy asked from the back of the cab on their way to her place.

He'd filled her in on the previous night and that morning and now she was looking at him with a raised expectant brow and he had no fuckin' idea what he was meant to say. "I don't know." And that was true, he didn't. He couldn't even begin to figure out how to deal with the idea of Harry never being Harry again. He had been tormented by the question before and during their last mission and still hadn't come up with an answer. – And then Harry had actually asked him. "I…haven't a fucking idea, Rox."

"Well I suggest you start getting a 'fuckin' idea' Eggs, because there is every chance we've lost the old Harry."

Eggsy glared at her as if betrayed. "What the fuck happened to 'Of course he'll get his memory back Eggsy.' huh? You were so sure this was temporary a week ago."

Roxy exhaled a long breath and made herself primly comfortable. "I was being a friend and humouring you, Eggsy. I knew you were anxious and we were on a mission."

"So you never expected him to come back?"

"He hasn't gone anywhere, Eggsy?" Roxy countered. "He's still Harry, he just…"

"No, he's not. He's different. He plays guitar and jogs and flirts, terribly and he's…" he shook his head. "He's not the Harry I..."

"Yes?"

"First met." He growled. "He's not the man who took out four asshole without breaking a sweat and then sat down and finished his pint. He's not the man who told me I can be better. He's not that Harry and its doin' my head in, cause I miss that uptight toffee-nosed git and yet I like this new more chilled, Harry." He dragged his hand through his hair. "God!"

Roxy's hand settled comfortingly on his arm, drawing his attention to her with a sad yet understanding smile. "I'm sorry Eggsy." She whispered, squeezing his wrist gently.

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, I used Freebird. Yes the scene is somewhat inspired by Buffy. No, I don't give a shit. My original plan was to have Eggsy come home to find Harry jumping around to maybe the Sex Pistols or something, but I'm not really a fan of punk and the only Pistols song I know is God Save the Queen, and then I remembered they used Freebird in the movie, in Harry's last fight sequence and I just thought maybe it was fitting. – Plus I really love that song.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So just to be clear, I know nothing about Psychiatry or what to do to help someone regain their memory, I'm winging this here. This chapter is mostly conversation centred, no real action of any kind.**

 **Oh and this chapter as an addition pov from Merlin.**

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

"I have to say Harry, I didn't expect to see you. Merlin was sure you wouldn't want my help." Guinevere murmured looking up with surprised eyes from the electronic pad in her hands.

Harry sat slumped slightly on a leather couch, a glass of water in his hand. "Eggsy suggested it." He replied begrudgingly.

"Oh, I see. – But _you_ don't want to be here?"

Harry shrugged, not meeting her gaze. "If it helps me remember, I don't really have a choice."

Guinevere narrowed her eyes calculatingly at him. "Do you _want_ to remember?"

He looked over suddenly. "Why wouldn't I want to remember?"

Guinevere shrugged. "I don't know, Harry. You tell me?"

He stared at the water glass, the bright sunlight creating rainbows on the denim of his jeans. He didn't answer, not for a long time. The room just existing in a silent void as Harry considered the question and the dark skinned woman sitting less than ten feet away watched him. But eventually the words escaped. "I don't think I…like…me."

"Why?" she pressed softly.

Another difficult question that sounded so simple. There were so many reasons. Too _many_ reasons. Fear, anger, disgust. – _Jealousy_. "I never thought I'd end up like….him." he growled, deciding that was the simplest answer right now.

"Him? You mean your father."

Harry nodded, lifting the glass from his lips to ease the sudden dryness of his throat.

Guinevere glanced down at the tablet in her lap. "What makes you think you're like your father?"

Harry scoffed. "Aren't I?"

She remained silent, her eyes flickering to his with a smile in them.

"I wear suits."

"We all were suits, Harry." She smirked, dropping her gaze to her own, tugging meaningfully on yet lapel.

Harry sighed, rolling his eyes. "I…have you seen my house?"

"I never had the please." she smiled.

"Its…" he shook his head. "It's pompous and… _old_."

"Old?" she snorted. "Meaning?"

"I have butterflies. I have art." He inhaled deeply. "I _stuffed_ my dog."

Guinevere lip quivered. "And that make you feel old?"

"Yes!"

"Is that all?"

Harry pressed his lips together stubbornly. No, it wasn't all but like hell was he discussing that with her.

"It's been thirty years Harry, people's interests change." She stared at him expectantly. "And, there are times when we are left with a lot of time on our hands. Could it not be that you developed an interest in butterflies and art? – And taxidermy?" she snorted quietly. "Does it have to be about your father?"

Harry stubbornly glared at his glass, his jaw tightly clenched.

"I understand how all this can be confusing for you Harry. Inside you feel twenty while outside you look, a rather attractive fifty-five. – But…Harry, no one feels their age. Most people if asked would probably feel the same as you and they haven't lost their memory."

"Isn't it inappropriate to flirt with your patients?"

"I wasn't flirting, I was stating a fact." She replied matter-of-factly.

He smiled because he couldn't seem to help himself, then he dropped his eyes back to the rainbow on his jeans, his finger rubbing at it as if he might erase it.

"Okay Harry." She smiled. "You want to regain your memories, fill in the blank spaces and maybe understand how you've become this man you don't recognise, yes?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess."

"Okay. – Tell me, do you remember anything?"

"No."

"No small pieces of information?"

"No."

Guinevere nodded, tapping something out of the tablet. "What about dreams, Harry?"

He sighed. "I wondered how long it would take." He grumbled, finishing the last of his water. "Any chance of something stronger."

Guinevere looked at him with a raised perfect brow before nodding to the small table by the window. "Help yourself. – Dreams, Harry?"

Getting to his feet he abled over and began to pour himself a scotch. How the hell was he meant to tell her about his dreams and continue to sit in the same room as her? He'd known this was a bad idea, but with the tension between him and Eggsy the last couple of days he figured what harm could it do. Apparently a lot, at least to his dignity. "Of course I dream, doesn't everyone." He asked dismissively, throwing back a quarter of the glass before returning to his seat.

"And you dream of…?"

"Rainbows and cuckoo clocks."

"Harry, I'm trying to help but I can't if you're difficult."

He sighed warily, his gaze shooting off into the distance, past the woman's head. "I'm twenty, at least in here…" he pointed to his head with his occupied hand. "What do you think I dream about? If you think I'm giving you details…"

"That's fine, but that can't be all you dream about. There must be other dreams."

Harry considers, his brows pinched and low. "My father." He eventually confesses.

"Okay. Would you mind sharing _those_ details?"

A deep sigh rocks though Harry's chest. "We're arguing about my…life style."

"You're sexuality." Guinevere corrects. "No need to be coy with me Harry, I've known you a long time." She said a little too meaningfully and Harry shifts uncomfortable.

"That doesn't help." He points out.

"Sorry. Please, continue. You're arguing with your father about your 'life style'. He's disapproving?"

"He's always disapproved." Harry nods, finally meeting her amber-brown eyes. "He hoped the army would knock it out of me."

Guinevere nodded understandingly. "And that's what the fight was about, in your dream?"

Harry thinking's back to the other night and shakes his head. "No, not…it was about a young man."

"Oh?" Guinevere murmured.

"He's yelling at me, saying I only want him around because I… _want_ him."

"And do you?"

Harry looked up. "No."

"Are you sure?"

Harry's more than sure. He knows how he feels when he wants someone and it wasn't that feeling. "Yeah, I'm sure, but my father keeps saying that I'm a disgrace and that he'll never accept him. That it won't matter because he won't be good enough anyway. Because he's not… _right_."

"Do you…remember his name? This young man?"

Harry thinks. Was it mentioned? "Lee." Guinevere takes a breath but Harry hears the hitch in it and looks up at her. "You know him?"

"Lee…Unwin. – He was…Galahad's father."

Now its Harry's turn to take a sharp surprised breath. "W-what?"

Everything seems to close in around Harry in the moment, the walls, the words. Had his father been right? - Was he…attracted to Eggsy now because of some kind of unrequited desire for his father? He felt sick.

"Harry?"

He didn't reply, he leant forward on his knees breathing deeply and waiting for the room to stop spinning.

"Okay Harry I think we should end this for today."

He nodded, getting quickly to his feet and marching angrily to the door. He pulled it open violently and couldn't resist slamming it behind him. Outside, was nothing but a long empty warm red walled corridor. Retracing his steps he found himself outside Merlin's office, but instead of knocking, he just kept walking, letting his feet lead him. Somehow he found himself at the shooting range, maybe it was coincidence or maybe it was a buried memory, he didn't know or care.

 __Hartwin__

The repetitive crack of a gun firing told Merlin exactly where to find Harry. It was bizarre but Harry had a very distinctive way of shooting that gave Merlin hope that maybe his friend wasn't completely lost to them. Pushing open the door to the range, he hung back, watching as his long-time friend decorated the paper target with holes. Eventually the clip ran out and Harry turned, probably intent on retrieving another only to startle at the sight of Merlin.

They greeted each other politely by name and Merlin moved closer to take up a position by the bench while Harry twisted to lean against the small ledge of the divide, folding his arms over his chest. Merlin easily mirroring his stance.

"Guinevere said you may need someone to talk to."

"I thought sessions were confidential?" Harry murmured angrily.

"She didn't go into details, just said that you might be confused about things and could use a friend with answers." He waved his hand.

Harry inhaled slowly, his gaze dropping to the grey concrete floor. "How long have we known each other?"

Merlin shrugged. "I don't know, thirty years give or take. Why?"

Harry unfolded his arms and slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Are we close? I mean, do I tell you things?"

Merlin frowned, concerned. "Yes. Harry wants…?"

"How close?" Harry repeated, lifting his gaze to meet the other man's dark eyes.

"Close enough to share a flat for almost a decade and for you to be best man at my wedding."

"You're married?" Harry gapped surprised. His eyes dropping to the man's bare hand.

" _Was_. It didn't last, pitfalls of the job. – Why all the questions Harry?"

Harry stood silently staring at his feet for a long few moments, making Merlin more nervous by the seconds.

"So if I ask you something, you'd give me an honest answer?"

"Of course." Merlin scoffed.

Harry took a deep breath. "Lee Unwin?"

Merlin stiffened. So that's what this was about, Eggsy. He should have guessed as much. "What about him?" he replied calmly.

"Did I…pick him because I was attracted to him?"

Merlin sighed, his whole body hunching forward slightly. "No Harry." But he didn't look convinced. "You put Lee forward because he was an excellent marksman, had the best scores in the country at the time. – Because he had an impressive IQ and you saw the potential to finally put someone with actual street smarts among the ranks. - And maybe piss Chester off." He smirked.

Harry fidgeted awkward and Merlin could see he was struggling to make sense of the situation. He hated seeing his friend like this, lost and confused, with no idea how his life had become this tangled mess. The old Harry had always seemed so put together, so confident and at ease with who he was and what he did. Merlin had only seen beneath that make a couple of time, rare glimpses at the man stood before him, a conflicted mess of honour and passion.

"Harry…" he took a breath. "Your relationship with Lee was nothing more than sponsor and candidate. You offered him an opportunity, but that was all."

"He died for me." Harry whispered.

"He died for all of us. Me, You and James, because he was that kind of man. Honourable. He wanted the make the world a better place for his son and wife, and knew that Kingsman was the best place to do that. - Don't flatter yours that his death was some kind of romantic sacrifice."

Harry flushed, his lip worrying between his teeth.

"Your…. _relationship_ with Eggsy, whatever it may or may not be, has _nothing_ to do with his father." Merlin informed him harshly.

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "How can I be sure of that, Merlin? Maybe I just didn't tell you."

Merlin scoffed. "You think I can't tell when you like someone after thirty years of friendship? Huh?"

Harry looked up through his lashes and shrugged. "I never like talking about…feelings. It comes from having Chester King as a father."

"You don't have to talk to me about it Harry, I'm your best friend, I can read you like a fuckin' book. – I knew things were different with Eggsy the second you first mentioned his name."

Harry swallowed hard and quickly turned a dark shade of red. "I wish I could remember."

"Sounds to me like you're beginning to." Merlin smiled, nodding back to the target sheet, the perfect ring of holes in the center. "In the meantime, trust your instincts, they've never let you down before."

Harry glanced over his shoulder. "I've always known how to shoot." He brushed off.

"True, but never with that kind of accuracy."

 __Hartwin__

Eggsy gave the heavy white door a hard single tap before pushing it open and poking his head around, frowning at the sight of Guinevere alone. "Oh, huh, I though Harry'd still be here." He murmured, when the woman looked up at him. "Sorry." He moved to leave only for Guinevere to call him back.

"Galahad, can I have a word."

Eggsy lifted a brow, not relinquishing his place by the door. "I don't need me head shrunk Doc." He pulled back.

"About Harry."

Eggsy sighed and stepped a little further into the room but didn't let go of the door. "What about him?"

Guinevere waved her hand at the sofa. "Please."

Taking a deep breath, Eggsy reluctantly released the door handle. This was going to be bad, he could feel it in his balls. It was the same feeling he got then Dean had looked at him sometimes before clouting him one, or when the plod had him backed into a corner or when Dean's dogs had waltzed into the Black Prince to find him and Harry having a drink. – Though that one had actually turned out alright for him.

He slowly walked over to the expensive leather sofa and literally dropped on it, the thick cushions coughing under his weight. He bit back a smirk at Guinevere's irritated look and slouched against the back, his arms folded defensively over his chest. He'd seen therapists before, court-ordered of course. They all wanted to get into your head and root out the bad shit, like they got off on it or somethin'.

"So wha' about Harry?"

"I understand it was your idea for him to come and see me." She asked politely.

Eggsy shrugged. "Figured it couldn't do no harm."

"Why?"

"Why what?" Eggsy scoffed.

"Why did you want him to see me?"

Eggsy looked at her like she'd grown a second head. "So you could help him get his memory back."

"And that's important to you?"

"Of course it's fuckin' important." Eggsy glared.

"And if he can't?"

"What do you mean?" Eggsy sat up, his eyes narrowing at her dangerously. "You said he'd get his memory back!"

"I said there was slim-chance he could recover his memories, it wasn't a guarantee."

Eggsy stared at her, mouth hanging open. What the fuck was she playing at? "Then what fuckin' use are you!" he yelled, shooting to his feet and marching furiously to the door.

"Sit down Galahad."

"I don't need this shit." He yanked open the door.

"Galahad, _sit down_!" she said quietly but firmly, making Eggsy paused and look back at her. "Or I'll make sure you never see action again."

Eggsy narrowed his eyes at her. "You can't fuckin' do that?" He growled.

Guinevere lifted her chin and met his anger with a calm smile. "Try me." She waved to the sofa.

Growling, Eggsy slammed the office door loudly and went back to his seat, all the defences he'd spent months taking down suddenly up again. He wasn't Galahad, now he was Eggsy Unwin, sat in that cold lifeless room with its bright blue carpet and beige walls with picture of smiling cartoon characters while some dozy twat with a goatee tried to get to the root of his anger. – Yeah, like he was gonna tell the stupid tosser anything about his home life, his mom, his step-dad. Like he was going to show the bruises on his back. Like he was going to share how much he'd wanted to bash Dean's head in with that brick rather than tossing it through his teacher's car window. – Like he was going to admit that seeing the disappointment in Mr Ashworth's eyes had hurt more than the kickin' Dean had given him.

He stared down at the small mark on the carpet a few feet away and refused point blank to meet the woman's gaze. She might be able to make him stay, but she couldn't make him want to.

"Well Galahad?"

He pressed his lips together and tightened the hold he had on himself, a loud angry exhale shooting from his nostrils.

"You are a Kingsman, stop behaving like a child." She snapped, her voice cracking the perfect mask of calm serenity.

Eggsy's jaw worked and he forced himself to finally look at her, straightening. He uncrossed his arms and crossed his legs and levelled her with the coldest stare he could manage. "What?" he murmured, his voice straining to remain cool and calm, burying his anger. It seemed to be enough of an effort for Guinevere, who made herself a little more comfortable and smiled as if she hadn't threatened to ruin his career before it had even really taken off.

"What if Harry can't regain his memories?"

"Then I guess Kingsman will give him a nice retirement package and he'll live the rest of his life bored out of his fuckin' mind."

"I was wondering more about how it will affect you?"

"I won't." he dismissed.

"Are you sure?" he mused. "You seem rather invested in him getting his memories back."

Eggsy shrugged. "He's my mentor, I want him to be himself again."

"But he is being himself, he's just not the man you knew."

Eggsy took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. His discomfort just seemed to spur the woman on.

"I read your file... May I call you Eggsy?"

He shrugged.

"You were only acquainted with Harry for a little over two months and for a fraction of that time he was in a coma, so I'm a little surprised that you're taking his current situation so personally. Most sponsor/candidate relationship are professional. I remember that my sponsor and I barely spoke more than a few words to each other. – Unless there's a personal connection outside of the recruitment, for example a familial bond."

Eggsy shrugged again. "I guess we just got on."

"So you're saying you shared an instant connection?" Guinevere pressed with a sly look on her face.

Eggsy narrowed his eyes at her, he knew that look, recognised it from years on the estate. It was the look of someone who though they knew what was going on in his head. "Whatever you're suggest, you can shove it. Harry's…he wouldn't…nothing happened."

"Do you want it too?" she asked and Eggsy growled at the bitch painted him into a corner.

" _No_!" he snapped firmly. Guinevere stared at him, silent and considering, he hated it. "Are you done?"

"Just one more thing, Galahad. – Maybe instead of obsessing over Harry getting his memory back you should consider this as an opportunity to get to know him. You might be surprised to find that you still share that connection."

Eggsy huffed angrily and hurriedly scrambled to his feet, marching to the door once again. He didn't say another word to Guinevere, just left. Furiously storming down the corridor, his heart pounding in his chest all the way to Merlin's office. He didn't knock this time, he just barged in to find Merlin and Harry sat drinking tea. Harry looked up startled when he entered and his eyes widened with concern.

"Eggsy, are you alright?"

"Fine. Are you ready to go? I need a break from this shit-hole." He snapped, folding his arms over his chest, his weight shifting impatiently to his left leg. All the manners and breeding that had been hammered into him over his training vanished as if it was never there.

Merlin shot him a hard look before giving Harry a concerned one as the man got to his feet.

"Of course. I'll speak to you later Merlin." Then he strolled to Eggsy's side and waved an arm in a familiar way that caused the younger man to inhale sharply.

Eggsy groaned inwardly and marching back out of the room, tossing back a "See you later." over his shoulder at Merlin.

They were in the Bullet on the way back to London only five seconds before Harry broke the stifling silence between them. "Are you okay, Eggsy?"

"I said I'm fine." Harry stared at him, brow raised and for a moment Eggsy could almost believe it was his Harry but for the t-shirt and jeans, and the hair that wasn't slicked back and parted. He straightened uncomfortable on the cushioned seat and turned his gaze to stare out the small window at the passing brickwork. "How did it go with Guinevere?" he asked quietly, not really wanting to know. He could only imagine the number she'd done on Harry after his brief encounter with her.

Harry didn't reply and Eggsy risked a glance of at him, catching the discomfort in the man's face and posture. Yeah, she'd worked him over good. He thought. "So…how about we head to the King's Arms when we get back, grab lunch and a strong drink." Eggsy said, his voice a lot calmer than it had been a few moments ago.

"Sound good." Harry agreed with a nod.

 __Hartwin__

They sat in a corner of the King's Arm, drinks set between them. Harry tucking into his steak and salad while Eggsy scoffed down the gourmet burger, their meeting with Guinevere behind them. Eggsy was relaxed for the first time in days. They sit and talked about normal every day stuff but ultimately there's not much you can say when the worlds still trying to get back on its feet. TV's pretty much made up of reruns, EastEnders and Corry never failing to deliver, no matter the crisis, minus some cast members who'd been involved in 'accidents' on V-Day.

As for sport, well…footballers it seemed had more money than sense and also had no idea how to pick their friends. Eggsy's stomach turned slightly at the memory of seeing a certain tattooed footballer and his wife, wining and dining in Valentine's big secret mountain. – He tried not to think of the kids. It had weighed on his mind for weeks. – So, with half the world's sports stars gone, along with the royals, presidents and anyone Valentine happened to think worthy of his brave new world, the leagues were struggling to regain their importance.

"Well maybe football will return to its roots." Harry grumbled. He'd been shocked and somewhat horrified when Eggsy told him what footballers had been getting paid.

"I doubt it'll stay like it though. Footie was big business." Eggsy scoffed, chewing a thick golden brown chip.

Harry looked up at him with a resigned sigh, reaching for his beer.

"I would've never figured you for a footie bloke, Harry." Eggsy scoffed.

Harry looked up at him with a raised amused brow. "Why?"

Eggsy waved his fork at him with a smile.

"You expected me to prefer polo, I suppose?"

Eggsy snorted, going back to his food. "Maybe. – Would have defo put money on you being a rugger man, that's for sure. Maybe cricket."

"I love cricket." Harry replied matter-of-factly. "Excellent game."

Eggsy snorted, shoving the last of his burger into his mouth.

"I played Rugby at Eton but…" Harry shook his head at the memory. "Wasn't really all that bothered when it came to watching it."

"Yeah?"

"I don't... Football just appealed more. My father said I had an uncivilized interest in the lower classes."

Eggsy looked up, eyes a mixture of amusement and suspicion. "Oh yeah. I guess that explains me then huh? No wonder he hated me." He grumbled, dropping his gaze to the empty plate in front of him.

"My father was a snob and he hated everyone, probably because he hated the fact my great grandfather was a tailor with a shop in Covent Garden."

Eggsy gaped up at him. "You're kidding?" he snorted.

Harry frowned. "No. – He was lucky though, got a patron or something. My father never really liked to talk about it." His frowned deepened. "I suppose…it might have had something to do with…Kingsman."

Eggsy was still smirking, he couldn't help it. There was just something exceedingly joyous about the idea that Arthur wasn't as posh as he liked to pretend. "Is that why he called himself King. Thought it made 'im sound posh?" he asked with a laugh.

Harry raised a brow. "Pardon?"

"If he's y'father and your names Hart, he 'ad to 'ave changed it. Kinda pompous calling himself King." He huffed with a small shrug and a smirk.

"He didn't chance his name."

"Wha'?"

Harry nodded sadly. "Chester Wilfred King." He snorted suddenly. "He hated his middle name, said it was common but it was a family name so…" he shrugged. "He was stuck with it." He smiled sadly off to the side.

"But…Hart?"

"My mother's maiden name. I... I used it when I applied for Sandhurst, _he_ thought it was best so as…" he swallowed thickly. "So as not to bring shame on the family name when I was… _found out_."

Eggsy started at him, eyes wide and furious as Harry stared into nothing, an almost broken look in his eyes. If he hadn't already killed Chester, he'd fucking do it now on principle, for putting that look on Harry's usually confident face. Clearing his throat, he decided to steer the conversation away from the dead man, though he wasn't quite ready to say goodbye to it all together.

Eggsy leaning back in his chair and folded his arms. "So does that mean _you're_ names Wilfred to?"

Harry lifted his head and frowned. "Pardon?"

"You said Wilfred was a family name."

Harry smiled softly and shook his head. "No, like I said he hated it. Flat out refused to name me Wilfred. – It was the name of our family dog though. He hated _him_ to."

"Your family dog was call Wilfred?"

"Yes."

Eggsy stared at him, his mind working. "Was he…? Do you think…? - You think Wilfred was his training dog, like Mr Pickles and J.B? – I bet he happily pulled that trigger."

Harry stared at him in horror.

"Sorry." Eggsy quickly whispered.

"It's fine. I just…I loved that dog, the thought that…actually you're probably right, he would have shot him. - Hell, he was probably disappointed they were blanks. Its probably why he hated him so much." He growled with disgust.

"Lucky for Mr Pickles you don't take after him." Eggsy smiled.

"Lucky for everyone I'd say." Harry murmured, a smile play sweetly at the corners of his mouth as he finished the last of his Guinness.

Eggsy's heart _did not_ leap into his mouth.

* * *

 **A/N: Despite my love of Michael Caine, Arthur was an asshole and I feel justified in making him worse.**

 **How does everyone feel about Guinevere? Hero or villain? Like her or hate or? I'd be interested to know what you think of her meeting with Harry and Eggsy.**

 **This story is working out to be a lot longer than I intended. Hope you don't mind.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Eggsy wouldn't in a million years admit that he'd actually listened to a fuckin' head doctor or that she'd been right. The fact that he and Harry had been talking a lot more the last couple of day; that he'd learnt things about Harry he didn't think the man would ever have shared with him if it weren't for the memory loss, that wasn't down to Guinevere or what she'd said about seeing this whole thing as an opportunity.

The thing was, as nice it was discovering that Harry like football – Even if he were an Arsenal supporter. – And that he liked David Bowie more than Bach. Or that his first crush had been a boy called William Donaldson, the school's star rugby player. – And no, he was not jealous, thank you very much. – Despite knowing that Harry'd been seventeen when he'd first had sex and had almost gotten arrested. – Who knew that the age of consent for gay sex was twenty-one while a guy could fuck a girl at eighteen? God that was just stupid, sex was sex. He'd lost his virginity when he was fifteen. _Maybe_ _me_ _and Harry could have shared a cell_. Eggsy had though with dark amusement.

But the thing was, despite learning all that about the older man, Eggsy still couldn't ignore there was something missing. That Harry didn't feel right in some ways. Like in him losing part of his memory, he'd lost some part of _them_ too. – And it was ridiculous, because there hadn't even been a _them_ before and Eggsy hadn't even allowed for the possibility. Sure he'd found Harry attractive. The confidence, the way he'd laid Dean's dogs out, the belief he showed in him. How could he not be turned on by that? He wasn't fuckin' stupid.

Over the past few days though Eggsy had forced himself to face facts, Harry may never be that man again. He may never hold himself with that grace, may never look at him like he could change the world if only he'd stop finding excuses. And facing that realisation hurt and yet at the same time was kind of freeing. At least he couldn't disappoint _this_ Harry.

Eggsy blinked and took a fresh breath as he stared at himself in the mirror, tugging at his shirt. He didn't know why he was so nervous? _Bullshit_. His brain screamed. Of course he knew why he was nervous, he was going to have his mum and Harry in the same room for the first time in seventeen years and he just knew it wasn't going to go over at all well. He knew she'd kick off, he'd just have to stand his gowned because whether she liked it or not, Harry was his friend. At least he'd have Roxy and Merlin there as backup. He'd invited Merlin merely as a way of insure Harry came.

Harry had tried over and again to convince him that it was a bad decision to go, even though he didn't remember why. _"She won't want me there Eggsy. Not after… - It wouldn't be right."_ And when that had failed to dissuade him, Harry had pulled a card Eggsy hadn't been expecting. _"I'm sure you don't want some old fucker ruining your night with your mum and friends. You'll have a better time with Roxy."_

Eggsy had just stared at him for a long silent amused moment then snorted a wet laugh and walked out of the room to shower, calling over his shoulder that Harry was coming if he had to fuckin' drag him there himself. That was over an hour ago and going by the sound of the shower and the movement in the room next to his, Harry had heeded his warning.

Deciding that he was ready, Eggsy perched on the edge of the bed to tie his trainers and then grabbed his wallet, checking to see he had enough money for the night. – Despite the Kingsman gold card. – He paused just as he was about to fold the polished black leather, catching the glint of a silver foil poking out from behind the notes. He'd transferred it over with everything else from his crappy cheap vinyl wallet, along with the picture of his mum and dad, and the small photo booth shot of him and Daisy, taken at Brighton about three weeks before he'd met Harry.

Taking a sharp breath he tugged at it, turning it over to check the date on the back. It was still good, though not for long. He couldn't help but wonder if it would get used before it expired or if it would still be there in six months' time, untouched. A noise from the next room had him turning to stare at the wall that separated him for Harry and let out a wary sigh as he slipped it back in behind the money and shoved the wallet into the pocket of his tight black jeans before reaching for his keys and phone. Then he headed down to the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge.

He leant against the counter, sipping from the bottle of _Kornberg_ while texting Roxy.

 **MSG: Where R U?**

He swallowed and waited, his eyes flickering impatiently around the room until his phone let out a loud wolf whistle.

 **FOXY:** _ **Five minutes away. Is Harry joining us?**_

 **MSG: Damn straight.**

 **FOXY:** _ **Merlin?**_

 **MSG: Said he'd meet us there.**

 **FOXY:** ** _Good._ **

Eggsy finished half his beer and was considering getting another when he heard footsteps on the stairs and looked up. Harry sauntered into the dining looking pretty fucking great actually. Sure he liked the jeans and the t-shirts, but they'd never quite lived up to Harry Hart in his bespoke suit. – But _this_ could work. The pale grey sweat over the crisp white shirt had looked mature without looking old and the dark jeans, as always, hugged in all the right ways.

He was still staring at the older man when Harry entered the kitchen and cleared his throat. Eggsy startled, almost dropping his bottle and choking ridiculously on his own tongue. Harry just smirked at him with a raised brow.

"You look nice." Harry said softly, helping himself to a beer.

"Huh, thanks. You too."

Harry smiled over his shoulder as he popped the cap. "Thanks."

Eggsy shook himself out of the weird trance he'd found himself in and cleared his throat, gulping down the last of his beer and setting the bottle on the side. "So, Roxy should be here in five."

Harry nodded, sipping at his own _Kornberg_. "I still don't think I…"

"Don't. You're coming to my birthday piss-up or else."

Harry looked over at him challengingly. "Or else what?"

"Or else I'll let J.B chew up all your Oxfords."

Harry snorted. "I don't wear them anyway." Taking another mouthful of his beer.

"Fine, then I'll let him pee in your bed."

Harry's shrugged. "I'll just get a new one."

Eggsy narrowed his eyes at the man and straightened, moving to face him as if this was going to sudden become a full-fledged fight in their kitchen. "How about David Bowie LP chew toys?"

Harry froze, his bottle halfway to his lips and his eyes narrowed to mirror Eggsy's. A low growl grew in the back of his throat. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me, buster." Eggsy scoffed.

The pair stood staring each other down, the room crackling with tension.

Then the doorbell broke the spell. "Fuck it." Eggsy cursed, breaking his gaze away from Harry. "Roxy."

Harry nodded, inhaling a lungful of warm air in through his nose, making his nostrils flair. "Better get the door."

Eggsy grunted frustratedly and twisted his body to literally march through the dining room to the front door, his heart hammering against his ribs as he violently yanked it open. Roxy startled only slightly, her eyes narrowing as she took in his appearance.

"Am I early?" she smirked. "I don't mean to interrupt if you're not….ready."

"Shut up." Eggsy growled, turning and walking back into the house, leaving her on the door step. "Harry, you ready?"

Harry appeared at the door breathless and flushed, which only made Roxy's grin widen and her eyes flicker to Eggsy as if she knew something. He just glowered at her and checked his pockets. Eggsy stepped out past Roxy and turned when he heard her whistle to see Harry leaving the house behind him, his outfit now twined with what looked like a second hand leather jacket, though it was probably just old. Eggsy's heart leapt into his throat at the sight.

"Looking good, Mr Hart." Roxy said with a polite smile.

"Please, call me Harry, Roxy. Mr Hart makes me sound..." He trailed off, glaring almost pleadingly at Eggsy, begging to be let off but Eggsy just smirked, winked and shook his head.

Roxy smiled warmly up at harry. "Of course." She murmured in that smooth posh way of hers and Eggsy absolutely _did not_ want to shoot her.

"Come on, we're wastin' drinkin' time." He yanked open the door of the black cab and climbed in.

"After you Harry." Roxy said sweetly, waving him in to the cab.

"No, please, Roxy. You first."

Roxy looked up at him innocent yet determined. "I do prefer not to sit in the center, I like the fresh air from the window. Travel sickness."

Eggsy glared at her. She'd have never pull that off if Harry had been himself, but he wasn't and so he nodded and lifted himself into the Kingsman cab and settled down next to Eggsy, Roxy with her smug smile following after him.

The problem with Kingsman taxi was that they weren't designed to be used by more than two people at a time. In a normal taxi, there was room for five people and there weren't any awkwardness or stuffiness or being squashed up against attractive older men that smelt like heaven. Eggsy shifted uncomfortably in his small corner, Harry doing pretty much the same jolt a few seconds later, and gritted his teeth. That was it, Roxy was getting cat's piss for Christmas.

The drive mostly consisted of Roxy making small talk with Harry while Eggsy slowly died next to him. When the damn heaven scented taxi finally pulled up outside the pub, Eggsy leapt out without a care for the traffic. Harry huffed and followed after him, clearly as desperate for fresh air as he was.

Walking around the cab, he glared at his best friend, the silent _'I'm going to kill you'_ received loud and clear if the growing smug smirk was any indication. Outside the pub where a scattering of picnic tables still holding punters, huddled in coats and drawing on cigarettes, the air around them decorated with smoke before the autumn wind carried it away. Eggsy took a deep breath and closed his eyes at the scent of stale beer and damp. It had been a long time since he'd been in a proper pub, when he was out with Rox or Harry they went to gourmet bars or clubs. It was probably one of the few things he missed about his old life.

He looked over to smile at his companions and caught sight of another man strolling towards them, his coat collar pulled up against the wind. A thin looking knitted black hat on his head, protecting its service from the cold.

"Hey." He greeted, coming to a stop in front of them. "I thought I was gonna be late. Something cam' up."

"Important?" Eggsy asked hopefully. Though he wasn't sure what he was hoping for, an excuse to skip out and avoid the shit storm he knew was on the other side of the door or a peaceful night with his friends and family, despite said shit storm.

"Et can wait." Merlin said with a smile. "You look nice Roxanne."

She blushed and inclined her head. "Thank you Mer…wait, we can't keep calling you Merlin?" she whispered the name.

"She's right." Eggsy nodded, suddenly panicked. He hadn't even considered that. _Shit_. "What's your real name?"

Harry snorted, his brow lifting as he turned to Merlin. "Yes, _Merlin_. What shell we call you?"

Merlin shot his friend a death glare before clearing his throat and murmuring under his breath.

"I'm sorry, I don't think we caught that." Harry laughed.

"You're a bastard, Harry." He glared. "Jasper." He announced with a growl.

"Casper? Like… the friendly ghost?" Eggsy snorted, causing Harry to chuckle.

" _Jasper_." Roxy nudged him hard in the arm. "That's nice."

Merlin met the young woman's gaze. "No, it's not, but thank you for trying." He then shot equally murderous looks at Eggsy and Harry, who both just laughed. "I need a fuckin' drink." He growled, stomping towards the pub door and holding it open for Roxy, before letting it fall closed on Eggsy and Harry. The pair looked at one another and laughed, Harry holding it open for the younger man as they followed.

"Huhaaay!" Ryan yelled across the pub, causing Eggsy to turn sharply.

He took a deep breath and held it for a moment.

"I can leave." Harry whispered quietly behind him.

"Don't even think about it, Rox, if you see him trying to sneak out, shoot him." And he was only half joking.

The words were barely dead in the air before Ryan and Jamal were in front of him, manhandling him into half-hugs, bumping their shoulders. Eggsy grinned and laughed at nothing in particular.

"'bout time ya showed that butt ugly mug." Ryan chuckled stepping back. "Heard you'd fucked off with some toff."

Eggsy cleared his throat awkwardly, his gaze flickering apologetically to his friends, who stood silently behind him. When he turned back to his old friend they were both staring at him and Jamal, always the observant one, was staring directly at Harry.

"Huh, right. Jamal, Ryan these are my…colleagues…friends, huh…Roxy, Harry and Jazza."

Merlin lifted a questioning brown but didn't correct him.

"Guys, these are my oldest friends."

Ryan grinned wide, sleeking up to Roxy. "So, ya the bird Eggsy's mum's been raving about. Got ta say bruv, she's slummin' with you."

Roxy gave him a slow look, from head to toe then scoffed. "I could most definitely do worse."

Jamal exploded with a loud laugh, punching a flushed Ryan on the shoulder, Eggsy chucking along.

"Eggsy. Sweetheart." The call of his mum from the far corner of the pub had his gut clenching so tight he thought he was going to be sick.

He shot Harry and Merlin a look before turning back to the approaching woman. Reaching for his wallet, he yanked out two twenties and handed them to Jamal, the most trusted of the pair. "Can you get 'em in, bruv?"

Jamal looked from Eggsy to Harry then over at Eggsy's mum. "Sure bruv, usual?"

"Yeah and a Guinness and…" he looked at Merlin.

"I'll have the same."

"Vodka and coke for me." Roxy smiled sweetly.

Jamal nodded and then shoved Ryan in the direction of the bar just as Eggsy's mum drew to a halt in front of her son, pulling him into a hug.

When she pulled back she turned instantly to Roxy, repeating the process. Roxy hugged her back like old friends, despite only knowing her a couple of months. Eggsy always figured his mum's instant acceptance of Rox had to do with what happen on V-Day, but they never spoke about that.

"It's great to see you too, Michelle." Roxy said brightly.

Michelle stepped back and smiled brightly, the dark circles beneath her eyes long gone. – Though if she was in contact with Dean again, Eggsy wondered how long it would be before they were back. – "You look stunning, sweetheart, really. It's no wonder my boy takes you with him everywhere." She winked. "Always was a show off."

Roxy chuckled.

"Huh, mum, these are some other friends from work. Jazza..." he gestured to Merlin who stepped forward.

"Et's a pleasure to finally meet ya, Ms Unwin." He smiled softly.

Michelle blushed. "Actually it's Baker but…you can call me Michelle."

Merlin continued to smile down at her warmly. "Would be a pleasure."

Roxy snorted beside him, shooting Eggsy a look and mouthing. "New step-daddy." She winked as he introduced her to his middle finger.

Taking a breath Eggsy cleared his throat. "And this is…Harry, mum."

Michelle, still smiling, turned to the other man and instantly froze, her eyes narrowing as they searched the face then widening with recognition. She paled instantly and shot Eggsy an accusing glare. His heart shot into his mother.

"Get out!" she snapped furiously.

"Mum."

"No!" she yelled, suddenly drawing the attention of the whole pub.

Eggsy winced and looked at the audience. "Mum, keep ya fuckin' voice down." He ordered.

Michelle glared at him "Watch your mouth."

"It's alright Eggsy, I'll leave. I'm sorry, Ms Baker." He nodded, respectfully, turning on the balls of his feet and walking quickly out the door.

"Roxy, stop him would you." He shot her a look and she rushed to follow the man, Merlin at her side. "Mum, calm down."

"Calm down?" she hissed. "You bring that man here and expect me to calm down?"

Eggsy closed his eyes for a second.

"He killed your father!" she shouted.

Eggsy groaned at how true that almost was. Harry had told him what had happened on that fateful test the night before he'd die…. _changed_. "No mum, he didn't. You're just blamin' him 'cos he told you. You're shootin' the fuckin' messenger and it ain't fair. Harry's one of the good guys and he's my _friend_."

Michelle's eyes widened and Eggsy knew she's figured it out. Wrapping his fingers lightly around her wrist he dragged her out of the pub, it was not a conversation he wanted to have in front of strangers. Outside, Harry was stood with Roxy and Merlin, the pair trying to convince him to go back inside. Eggsy shot Harry an apologetic look. "Guys." He nodded his head at the door and watch with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as Roxy grabbed hold of a reluctantly Harry and pulled him back into the pub.

Once they were alone, well as alone as you can be on the pavement outside a pub in West London, Eggsy turned to his mum, let go of her hand and waited for the shrieking to start. It didn't take long.

"You're working for them aren't you?" Michelle yelled. "For the bastards that got your dad killed!"

Eggsy didn't replied, he didn't need to.

"Eggsy, how could you? You _promised_ me!"

He took a slow breath and met his mother's desperate watery gaze and swore inwardly as his stomach swelled with guilt. "I know mum, I'm sorry but I…" he shook his head, burying his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "I gave up the marine's for you mum, to make you happy and to be there to stop that bastard Dean from sendin' ya to an early grave, but I can't livin' like that! I want to do somethin' with my life. I want to make dad proud…"

"Proud? You think he'd want you…?"

"Yes." Eggsy answered confidently. "I think he would because he believed in what I'm doin' because he wanted to do it too. – Yeah, he died but he died savin' people. He died trying to make all our lives betta and I'm doin' that. For you and Daisy, and everyone else…" he waved his arm at the world. "Because _someone_ has too."

Michelle glowed at him. "It doesn't hav' to be you!"

"No, but I wan' it to be. – Mum, I love my job and makin' a difference." He took a breath. "You wan'ed me to get out, to make somethin' of my life."

"I didn't mean gettin' ya'self killed!"

"I know, but… - I'm gonna try hard not to ge' killed mum but…" he looked around, frowning at the surrounding council flats and the worn down pub. "I could get killed 'ere, at least with the...army, it'd be for a reason."

He stared at his mother as the words seeped in and settled. He watched as she rolled them around in her head and made sense of them, and knew when she'd finally come to terms with the fact he wasn't her little boy anymore. Her shoulders slumped forward and tears pooled in her eyes. Eggsy had to fight not to give her what she wanted just to erase the pain from her eyes, but there was no way he was going to, he loved his job. He loved finally having a purpose.

"Mum?"

"I don't like it Eggsy. I don't want that man turnin' up on m'doorstep tellin' me you're…"

"I know, mum." He whispered, pulling her into his arms. "But…I'm 'appy. I'm doin' somethin' more than nickin' cars and it feels good."

They stood in silence for a moment or two, Michelle still in her son's arms, her eyes swelling and red with unshed tears. Finally she took a deep breath and stepped out of his embrace, swiping at her eyes. "Great birthday this is." She scoffed. "Come on."

"Mum…" he paused her with a gentle hand to her arm. "Don't give him a hard time." It wasn't a plea, it was an order and his mum didn't like it but she didn't argue, she simply raised her chin a few inches and brushed out of his fingers.

Eggsy took a deep breath and hurried to follow her. Despite her not agreeing to lay off Harry, he knew she would. If only by ignoring his presents entirely. – But frankly that was better than nothing.

\\*_*/\\*_*/

Harry sat awkwardly on one of the cushioned stools, his drink untouched in front of him waiting for Eggsy and his mum to return. He'd told Eggsy it was a bad idea for him to come, he'd known even without remembering the exact details of his last encounter with Michelle Unwin – No, Baker. – That it was going to cause trouble. People always shot the messenger.

Beside him Roxy was chatting away to Eggsy's friend Jamal while Merlin was flirting with some other woman, a friend of Michelle's obviously considering her age. - But then considering _his_ age, he probably should jump to conclusions'. - He didn't think he'd ever felt more out of place in his life. Reaching for his drink, he sipped at it while keeping an eye on the door. Why Eggsy just hadn't let him leave he couldn't figure, it would have saved everyone a lot of time and trouble. - Better yet, he should never have come.

It felt like forever before the doors opened and Eggsy strolled back in behind his mum, who looked stressed and far from happy. She shot him a furious glare as she approached their table and took a seat, the woman beside her ending her conversation with Merlin to stand abruptly and skim out from behind the table and wrap Eggsy in a tight hug that had him smiling and laughing. When she finally released him, she went back to her seat and her conversation while Eggsy moved to take the stool at the end, between his mum and his friend Ryan. He looked down the length of the table to Harry as he lifted his glass and gave him a smile, reassuring him.

For the first time in twenty minutes, Harry relaxed, losing himself in his drink and the comforting hum of conversation around him. Yet feeling completely out of place.

"So are you a tailor too Harry?" the woman talking with Merlin asked with bright intrigued smile.

He turned sharply at the question, his brows raised and his mouth open like he'd lost the ability to speak. "Huh…"

"Harry's the best we have." Merlin murmured with pride.

The woman, whose name escaped Harry during introduction, laughed. "Wow. My mum used ta make dresses, nothin' fancy…" she said looking at Harry. "…just ya know, simple stuf' but I know wha' it take's. I woz never any good, can't sow for shit and as fa cuttin' fabic…" she scoffed derisively, shaking her head. "Would never 'ave pictured our Eggsy as bein' into that kinda thin, but…" she looked over at him with a warm look in her eyes that came for years of acquaintance. "He always did wha' he set his mind to."

"He's very good." Harry nodded, despite not actually know how good he really was. He turned to look at the blond and found Eggsy staring at him with a bright smug grin.

"I don't know Harry, I think he could use a little bit more training." Merlin said with a put upon sigh. "His manners are appalling."

The woman looked between Eggsy and Merlin for a second or two then let out a loud chuckle that spread easily around the table.

 __Hartwin__

Harry stood at the bar watching the young man behind get the order together. It was almost 10:30 and they were on their sixth round. The night was running along smoothly. Eggsy was having a good time, which was all that mattered. Merlin seemed to be flirting with every female in a five foot radius and Roxy wasn't much better. Michelle hadn't said two words to him all night and when she glanced his way it was with a blazing look of hatred and mistrust. He wondered how much worse it would be if she knew he was attracted to Eggsy. He'd probably be made a public display of, his balls hanging from the nearest lamp post while his dick was feed to someone's dog. – It was most definitely enough to scare off lesser men.

He was considering just what the woman would do if she knew they were living together when Eggsy saddled up beside him, startling him slightly.

"Hey Bruv." Eggsy laughed.

Harry swallowed his racing heart, though whether it was the surprise of Eggsy's sudden appearance or just Eggsy that caused it, he couldn't say. "Hey." He returned the warm smile. "You having a good time?"

Eggsy nodded. "Despite your best efforts to be a grumpy fucker, yeah."

"I'm not being grumpy." Harry argued.

Eggsy scoffed. "But seriously Harry, you could at least _pretend_ to be havin' a good time."

"It's kind of hard with your mother trying to kill me with her eyes every five seconds." He glanced over his shoulder and there she was glaring at him again.

Eggsy laughed as he followed the man's gaze. "She's just being a mum. Imagine what she'd be like if she knew we were shacked up together."

Harry's breath caught in his throat as he looked down at the blond. "We're not." He insisted, smiling gratefully as the barman set his Guinness on the tray. "We're flatmates."

Eggsy looked at him with a mixture of disappointment and amusement. "Right. Flatmates."

That uncomfortable tension settled between them, Harry fussing with the money in his hand while Eggsy leant heavily on the bar running his fingers through the water marks left by other customers. Harry handed over the cash when the tray was full and waited for his change.

"What a game of pool?" Eggsy asked quietly, reaching for the tray.

"Pool?" Harry frowned confused.

"Don't try it, bruv, I know you had pool where you come from." He snorted.

Harry laughed. "Wouldn't you rather share a game with your friends?"

Eggsy smiled up at him. "I'd rather play with you?" he winked and carried the tray over to the table, setting it down then grabbing his and Harry's pints, he carried them over to the pool table in the corner, Harry following after him.

Eggsy smiled over the end of the table as he began placing the balls on the worn green cloth, his eyes shining in the overhead light and his face pleasantly flushed from drink and laughter. Harry couldn't take his eyes off him as he stood patiently with a cue in his hand. Once all the balls where in the triangle, Eggsy grabbed his own cue. "Age before beauty." He laughed, nodding for Harry to break.

"Then shouldn't you break?" Harry grinned, even as he took his place at the end of the table. "After all I'm only twenty." He winked.

Eggsy's laughter, as always, sent a hurricane of butterflies though Harry's stomach and chest, he didn't think he'd met anyone so quick to humour. It was a nice difference to the stuffiness of his upbringing. Bowing over the table, Harry took aim and hit the white ball. The sound of it crashing into the yellow and red triangle echoed around them and he watched as they scattered, a red and yellow both slipping flawlessly into pockets.

Eggsy whistled. "Show off. So what you takin?"

Harry strolled around the table. "Reds."

Eggsy nodded and stepped back to give him room as Harry took aim on another ball and sunk that too. "You're a fuckin' hustler ain't ya? God, is there anythin' you can't do?"

Harry looked up at him teasingly while bowing across the table. "Nope." And another ball went down. He smirked over at Eggsy as he straightened as moved to get a better short.

"Not bad for an old man." Eggsy murmured softly behind Harry.

Harry sent down two balls in quick secession, leaving one left then the black and the game was his. He took aim and then froze as he felt something brush up the inside of his leg. He twisted his head to see Eggsy grinning at him. Harry narrowed his eyes and turned back to the game only for the cue to brush his leg again. "Eggsy." He warned.

"What? I ain't doin' nuffin."

Harry scoffed and took his shot, just before the tip of the cue touched the center of the ball, Eggsy nudged the sensitive part of his inner thigh. Of course he missed, anyone would have. Behind him Eggsy cooed unsympathetically and stepped up to the table.

"Shame, Harry."

He turned to the blonde, stepping up close and lowering his voice. "You're a little fucker Unwin and your damn lucky we're in public." Two could play this game. He brushed past Eggsy, making sure to touch his arm. He took a couple of deep gulps of his Guinness as Eggsy made himself comfortable over the table, his arse on display in the tight dark jeans. He couldn't help but let out a groaned.

Eggsy sank a ball then moved around, sinking another and Harry cleared his throat. "Nice." He whispered, letting another deep moan slip from his lips. And whoops, Eggsy's cue skidded the curve of the ball sending it in the opposite direction to where he'd wanted it.

Harry chuckled, moving over to the table, tapping the blonds arm lightly as he past. Eggsy shot him an accusing look as Harry leant over to sink his final red which went down with ease. He was setting up to end the game when he felt the familiar brush of something again his leg, he ignored it, he wasn't going to fall for that trick again and clearly Eggsy knew it because he stepped up behind Harry just as he was about to send the ball flying and pinched his arse. He actually fucking pitched his arse. Harry hadn't expected that, thus missed his shot. He turned sharply to stare at Eggsy with narrow eyes, the blonds face bright with amusement. If they hadn't been surrounded by people, if Eggsy's mum wasn't five foot away, he may very well have backed the smug little shit up against the dark green wall behind him and taught him a lesson in detraction. – And going by the sudden darkening of Eggsy's gaze, he would have welcomed it.

But before either of them could say or do anything a thick tension settled around them. The whole pub, that not ten seconds ago was abuzz with chatter, was no deathly silent. Harry turned to see a group of men walking into the pub, an older man leading the pack. Something in the back of Harry's mind whispered there was going to be trouble and when Eggsy swore loudly behind him, storming past him with the cue still in hand, he knew why.

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, Arsenal, for two reasons. 1) Its my brother's team. – I'd use mine but I think Harry's too smart to be a Spurs supporter. *wink* 2) I love Fever Pitch and I think Colin looks lovely in red.**

 **Harry knowing Merlin's real name isn't because he remembered it, but because Merlin told him. Probably when he tuned up with Chinese and beer to console him.**

 **So as you probably noticed, I wrote the way Eggsy speaks differently in this chapter and I hope that you realised why. Surrounded by his friends and family, his accent becomes more prominent. It's not that Eggsy has lost his accent working for Kingsman, it's more like he's cleaned it up a bit, making himself more understandable.**

 **I admit I have a bit of a pool-game-flirting kinks, so shoot me. – And for the non-English readers, British pool is played with just three colours, Red and Yellow and the winner is the first to pot all his ball and the black. I love pool both British and American ball. Sadly there isn't a pool hall where I live any more, though I spent most of my teenage years in one.**

 **en. wiki/Age_of_consent_reform_(UK)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Seriously, I can't believe how long this story is. – This chapter is basically Dean getting another slice of kick-ass handed to him and Eggsy and Harry finally deal with the shit-ton of UST.**

 **I can't write fight scenes, I did try but I just couldn't do the Kingsman justice, so I'm sorry I don't give a detailed account of Dean and his goons getting their arses handed to them.**

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

"What the fuck are you doin' 'ere?" Eggsy demanded.

Everything had been going so well. Things between him and Harry were developing into pretty blatant flirting and he'd been sure the older man was about to make that final move, of course as always the universe decided to fucking shit on everything. – If he didn't know better he'd swear someone up there didn't want him to get in Harry Hart's pants. _Probably Arthur_. He thought angrily. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, his eyes locked with the man in front of him.

"Last I fuckin' checked, it was a free country." Dean spat viciously. "Besides, ya mum invited me."

Eggsy clenched his jaw as his stomach dipped, he didn't look over and he didn't need to. "Well you're not welcome, so I suggest you fuck off."

Dean glowered at him, that sneer he'd grown up fearing was now almost comical. The older man stepped closer, his voice rough and filled his hatred and disgust. "You think I'm gunna listen ta a little shit like you, who's takin' it up the arse for a posh suit?" he snarled. "I should have kicked you harder." His gaze flickered over Eggsy's shoulder and narrowed. "That him? – Can't say I'm surprised frankly, always did attract that type, didn't ya?"

Eggsy clenched his teeth and tried to remain calm, his eyes never leaving Dean and refusing to allow the bastard the satisfaction. _Manners maketh man_. He murmured over and over in his head. "And by _type_ , you mean not a fucking scumbag who needs to beat his wife up to get hard? Yeah, he's _definitely_ my type."

Dean growled. "Darryl, get the lads."

Eggsy didn't break eyes contact even as he caught sight of one of Dean's attack dogs rushing out the door. He knew this was where trouble came in and it only filled him with a sense of excitement, his blood beginning to race. A second later the pub door opened and six large mountains of muscle walked in like something out of a Bond movie. Eggsy couldn't hold in the laugh that trickles from his lips. He took a step back, his fingers tightening around the cue he was still holding comfortably in his hand.

He watched Dean take a step back, allowing his muscle to move forward. He didn't need to look to know that Merlin and Roxy had taking a step up behind which had resulted in a chuckle from Dean as well as the men. It only made Eggsy grin wider. He didn't look to see where Harry was, he silently hoped he'd recognised the situation and stepped out of harm's way, like many of the punters. Eggsy listened to the sound of running feet, wooden legs scraping the floors and the distant nervous sound of someone threatening to call the police. Though Eggsy was pretty sure they'd wait until after the fight, it was the usual etiquette of estate punch-ups. Absently Eggsy wondered if maybe he should have had them go to a pub closer to home.

"Being gentleman, it's only right that we offer you the opportunity to leave." Merlin said calmly, his voice crisp and shape, his accent smoothing out, telling Eggsy just how close he was.

Roxy cleared her throat. "I'm not a gentleman."

Eggsy laughed at the indignation in Roxy's tone, and so too did the men and they stepped forward to take a swing.

Six against three wasn't even a fair fight, not for a Kingsman. It was child's play, an evening work out. They weren't even going to break a sweat. Of course they probably should have known it wasn't going to be that simple, Eggsy should have expected Dean to 'try' and play dirty. He turned to avoid a knife to the gut and caught sight of another five bastards rushing in from the back of the pub, heading straight for Harry. He held his breath, stomach dropping and knocked out the guy with the knife.

The panic died almost instantly as he stood in the chaos and watched wide eyed as Harry took on all five men single handed. He knew he should step in and help but he never could take his eyes of Harry when he fought, there was an erotic grace and beauty to the man's every movement. Ever since that first day, as he'd sat and watched Harry take down all six of Dean's pathetic band of wankers, he'd gotten a little hard. He probably needed therapy after all, but fuck Harry was hot when he worked it like that.

Eggsy heard a scuffle behind him but didn't bother to look, Merlin and Roxy could handle whatever was going on. Instead he just shifted his weight to his left leg, tossed the broken cue aside and grinned wide and bright as the old Harry shone through and the bodies piled up.

The whole fight took less than a minute and with as little damage as possible. A couple of pool cues, a table, a few stools and one old black and white framed picture of the pub at the turn of the century. Blood was running through everyone's veins faster than the Bullet on its way to the Castle and it made them all grin like psychopaths. – Well, maybe that was just Eggsy, Roxy was smiling with cool satisfaction, Merlin's smile was a lot more reserved and Harry just looked stuck somewhere between terrified and amazed. The look was enough to have Eggsy breaking free of his aroused appreciation and walking calmly over to check on the man.

"You 'kay?"

Harry looked from him to the five unconscious men, some of whom will most definitely require hospitalisation. When he lifted his eyes again, Eggsy caught the gleam in them. "That was...fun." he grinned finally and Eggsy laughed.

He reached up to squeeze Harry's shoulder. "See, told you, more bad ass than Bond." He winked cheekily.

The clearing of a throat behind him had Eggsy turning to face Merlin, whose happy exhilaration of a moment ago had died into the serious expression of his professional life. "Barman's calling the police."

"Shit." Eggsy sighed.

"You two should get out of here. Roxy too." He turned to look at the young woman. "I'll deal with the Met."

Eggsy looked over at his mum, who was stood in a far corner, her face pale and filled with a mix of guilt and fear. Her eyes red rimed. "Can you make sure mum gets home too, Mer…Jasper?"

Merlin groaned at the use of his real name.

"I'll take her home." Roxy volunteered.

Eggsy smiled, leaning down to press a grateful kiss to her cheek. He looked up to find Merlin staring at him. "You want a kiss too?"

Merlin narrowed his eyes at him. "Get out of here."

Eggsy laughed, tugged Harry's arm to follow him and went to retrieve their jackets. He paused a few minutes to say goodbye to his shocked friends, who looked at him like they hadn't known him all their lives, it was an unsettling feeling. He glanced over at his mum then turned and marched out, Harry murmuring a goodbye as he quickly followed.

The black cab they climbed into wasn't a Kingsman Taxi, it was a regular one and the driver gave them an unimpressed warning glare before looking surprised at the uptown address Eggsy gave. As the cab turned the corner the night sky was alight with blue lights and the sound of sirens.

Eggsy slouched into the corner of the leather seat and pretended not to watch Harry as he stared down at his hands, bemused. Eggsy frowned as he noticed the blood on the older man's knuckles, and felt his stomach clenched. He hadn't seen blood on Harry since the day he'd died, the day he'd thought he'd died. "You okay?" he asked softly.

Harry turned suddenly, his troubled brown eyes meeting Eggsy's. "I…can't believe I did… _that_."

"Honestly, neither can I, figured with you not…" he tapped at his head. "That you wouldn't remember how t'fight like that."

Harry dropped his gaze back to this hands. "That's what I…did?"

Eggsy licked his lips, his eyes narrowing with concern. While part of him wanted Harry to remember, wanted him to be proud and smug about it like he'd been the first day they met, another part didn't want Harry to relive the events in Kentucky, all the blood and death. Especially if Guinevere was right about why Harry had forgotten half his life. "Only when necessary."

Harry closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.

 __Hartwin__

They drove the rest of the way back to the house in silence. When the taxi pulled up outside the door Harry leapt out and practically ran for the front door, while Eggsy paid, giving the driver a healthy tip and a smile. When Eggsy entered he heard the sound of running water from the downstairs loo and knew what Harry was doing, washing away the blood on his hands. It left a heavy guilty feeling in Eggsy's gut, though he wasn't sure why. It wasn't like Harry hadn't fought before, he'd been a Kingsman longer than Eggsy had been alive. – And okay, that was not a thought he wanted in his head either right now.

Sighing wearily, Eggsy turning into the dining room and shrugged out of his jacket, hanging it sensibly on the back of the chair and emptying his pockets, his wallet, phone and keys all resting in a chaotic pile on the polished surface, then he turned and walked slowly over to the small table to pour himself and Harry a strong scotch, they both needed it.

He was on his second when he heard the now familiar sound of Harry's footsteps behind him. He turned slowly to meet the older man, a glass held out to him. Harry hesitated briefly before taking it and threw it back with the same desperation Eggsy had only a moment ago. Eggsy watched him over the rim of the glass, his ass perched on the corner of the dining table; his gaze fixed hungrily on the way Harry's throat moved as he swallowed the whole thing in almost a single fluid motion. When the glass was empty Harry lowered it to the small side table behind him with a loud clonk before advancing on Eggsy.

Then he stopped. A few inches from Eggsy's face he just stopped, his eyes locked on the blonds face, flickering between his eyes and mouth. Eggsy dragged his tongue across his bottom lip, the corner of his mouth curling up into a cocky smirk he just knew got under Harry's collar. It worked perfectly, Harry's face flushed and his eyes darkened but he didn't move. Eggsy gritted his teeth and flexed his fingers around his own tumbler. Usually he would jump in with both feet, not bothering to think about the long term consequences. – That's how he'd almost gotten caught by one of Dean's thugs five years ago. – But now he waited, he considered and planned. At least as far as not pushing his friend and mentor, after all the man was still confused and a mystery to himself as much as to Eggsy.

He watched Harry hesitate, searching his face as if looking for permission, like Eggsy hadn't been giving off signals since the first day they'd fuckin' met. – Frankly it was a battle of wills Eggsy was proud to be wining with himself as he held back from just grabbing Harry by the collar and sticking his tongue down his throat. Because seriously, it had been almost ten months since he'd first laid eyes on Harry Hart, ten months of nothing but flirtation and lingering looks. Even before Harry had lost himself, if he had to wait one more second he might actually shoot someone.

Luckily a second was all the time Harry needed to make up his mind. He hesitated awkwardly, taking the tiniest step into Eggsy's personal space, not touching him just slowly lowering his mouth. His breathing was ragged and uncertain, and Eggsy would almost have laughed if he weren't so fuckin' hungry for this goddamned kiss. He licked at his lips again and smiled when Harry let out a deep growl a millisecond before finally mouth touched mouth.

The kiss wasn't anything like what Eggsy had been expecting, or was used to. It was slow, hesitant, filled with a sweetness that could probably bring a grown man to tears. He could certainly feel a stinging behind his eyes. Before he was even aware of it there was whimpers slipping from his lips and he was reaching out to curl his fingers around Harry's grey blood stained jumper, holding on for dear life, scared that if he opened his eyes he'd find the older man gone. Blindly lowering his glass to the table beside him.

Then a switch was flipped somewhere deep in Harry and what had been a soft, lingering movement of lips, licking and nipping gently at Eggsy's own, was suddenly a wholly different dance. The hesitation vanished and that good old Kingsman confidence flooded in. Harry's hands, that hadn't so much as brushed at Eggsy's skin, where now cradling his face, holding him firmly in place as Harry's tongue finally found Eggsy's own, sweeping and swirling, taunting and teasing until Eggsy was gripping Harry's shoulders so furiously the man would probably have bruises in the morning.

Harry relinquished his grip on Eggsy's face in order to slip his arm around the blonde's waist, pulling them flush against one another while at the same time forcing Eggsy backwards against the dining room table, resorting in a broken groan of pleasure coming from the young man's throat. Eggsy curling one arm around Harry's shoulders while his other hand pressed into the polished oak, rocking his pelvis up at much as he was able.

He didn't know how long he stood there, partly stretched out on Harry's table, tongues battling, his right thigh pressing against Harry's hip, but when he broke the kiss to gulp in desperate lungful's of oxygen it felt like he'd gone centuries without it. Harry's mouth didn't go far, shifting its target from Eggsy's damp shimmering lips to the curve of his jaw and throat.

"Fuck, Harry…." Eggsy panted, his lust filled eyes locked on the pure white ceiling above him. "I didn't…think toffs knew how to…kiss like... _that_."

"I'm just full of surprises." Harry growled into his ear, his groin jolting forward to make his point.

Eggsy whimpered shamefully again, his eyes fluttering closed as he took the lead and grabbed at the older man's neck, pulling him down and thrusting his tongue into his mouth in an obscene and filthy way, grinning into the kiss momentarily as Harry's answering groan rumbled between them.

As their tongues danced around one another, deep and erotic, Eggsy fingers began to claw at the back of Harry's jumper, causing it to rid up till he could wrap his fingers in the hem and force it off. Harry reluctantly raised his arms one at a time, as if unwilling to let Eggsy got for even a second, breaking the kiss only when he absolute need to. Allowing barely a few scant inches between them so Eggsy could violently rip the clothing over Harry's head before their mouths were forged together once more. Eggsy blindly tossed the sweater aside down the table, listen to it hit the silverware in the center of the table.

Harry didn't look up and Eggsy was glad. Being rid of the jumper wasn't enough though and the second it was free of the younger man's fingers he was blindly going for the buttons of Harry's dress shirt, fumbling and growling with frustration. He used his own strength to force Harry up, not away though. With Harry now stood upright, their mouths still join in a sensual dance, Eggsy was able to get the shirt unfastened. How he managed to get the thing undone he would never know. He moaned louder when he reached for the flesh beneath only to find more cotton. He yanked his head back, glaring up at Harry accusingly. "Are you fuckin' with me, bruv?"

Harry grinned wickedly, brow raised. "Not yet."

Eggsy winked up at Harry, grinned wide and brightly as he shoved the white cotton shirt off Harry's shoulders like it was poisonous, the white t-shirt beneath quickly following it. Finally with a shirtless Harry in front of him, Eggsy wasted no time reaching out to run his hands down the older man's surprisingly firm chest, the small scattering of chest hair brushing the underside of his fingers. "Fuck Harry." He breathed, licking at his lips. "You're fuckin'… _Fuck_."

Harry's smile widened as he watched Eggsy's hungry ocean coloured eyes taking in his bare chest. "You know, I'm feeling a little left out here." He murmured after a few minutes, then suddenly reached for Eggsy's shirt. Unlike Eggsy with his nimble fingers, Harry didn't bother with buttons he simply ripped the fabric apart.

"Bruv!" Eggsy yelled, staring down at his tattered shirt, then to the floor. "If my dog chokes, I'm shooting you." He warned angrily. "I won't even hesitate this time." He promises.

Harry looks conflicted and a little guilty for all of two seconds, before he was dropping his eyes and hands to the fast expanse of Eggsy's sculpted pecs and torso, his fingers sweeping down the front then up the flanks, then back around to rub at Eggsy's already somewhat erect nipples. He lowered his mouth to the younger man's throat, sucking on his pulse point like a damn vampire or something.

Eggsy's head rolled backwards, a pleased breathless moan slipping passed his lips. "Fuck it Harry." He growled, his own hands reaching up to grip at the man's biceps, thankful he was still resting on the edge of the dining table because there was no way his legs would hold him with Harry pulling that shit. Unconsciously Eggsy's gaze flickered over Harry's shoulder to the mirror on the wall opposite and his breath cause as he watched the muscles play across the older man's back. He couldn't stop himself from reaching around to run his fingers over the still vibrant scars. A reminder of how close he'd come to losing the man.

The kiss was deep and filthy and filled with so much erotic desire it stole Eggsy's breath almost instantly. He closed his eyes on another moan and pulled Harry closer, allowing their bare hot flesh to touch, gasping at the long overdue feeling. Harry's whimper only made him more desperate and he rocked forward to press his stiffy into Harry's stomach, moaning at the friction. A second later he was fumbling between them to get to the older man's jeans, practically ripping them open in search of the mysteries beneath, his hand making the first cautious explorations.

Harry broke the kiss to let out a loud groan as Eggsy's fingers found him, rock hard and straining to be released from the restrictive confines of the denim. His hands slipped from where they'd previously been sending sparks of pleasure through Eggsy to grip his hips hard, his forehead falling to rest against Eggsy's as he fought to regain some control, as well as some oxygen.

After a few minutes of his hot breath sweeping over Eggsy's neck, Harry began to jerk his body, moving in an odd sort of dance. Eggsy looked up at him confused then down to see him awkwardly toeing off his shoes, he couldn't help but laugh. "Ya look like your doin' some kind of fuckin' mating dance."

"I am." Harry grunted breathlessly as he got his foot free of one of his shoes, kicking it off so that it flew under the dining table. "You should join me." And with that Harry's hands went to work on stripping Eggsy of his own jeans, forcing him to lift his ass of the table top. He kicked off his own trainers, shooting them in odd direction. He heard one hit the wall behind Harry, holding his breath as he watched the lamp on the sideboard wobble slightly. His left connecting with wood, maybe the leg of the table.

With their shoe and trainers gone, their jeans came next. Harry stepped out of his gracefully, as ever, then stepped back to practically yank Eggsy of his legs, forcing the younger man to grip the edge of the table or risk being dragged to the floor. Then Harry threw them away and Eggsy watched with an amused smirk as they skidded over the kitchen threshold to land at the base of the sink.

Dressed in only their underwear, Harry lowered his mouth back to Eggsy, the kiss returning to the soft gentle taunting it had been an eon ago. Eggsy wrapped his arm and his right leg around the older man and just let Harry take the lead

\\*_*/\\*_*/

Harry slid his fingers beneath the cotton of Eggsy's dark boxers and them against the firm smooth flesh of Eggsy's arse cheek, moaning into the blonde's mouth. He hadn't planned on any of this, hoped maybe, deep down in that secret little corner however he was still troubled about his association with Eggsy's father, not to mention that every time he looked in the mirror he was reminded that he wasn't merely a few years younger than the blond in his arms but rather decades _older_. It was unsettling to say the least and there were all the questions he had about his relationship with Eggsy himself prior to the shooting. They'd only known each other three months before his being shot in the head and ending up in a coma, and yet Harry had instantly been drawn to the younger man, instantly trusted him above Merlin, a friend of almost thirty years. How was that possible? What did that mean?

He was so confused, so uncertain of everything in his life and after the fight at the pub, after taking out six men single handed with skills that would make Bruce Lee envious, he was more insecure than ever.

And yet, this was the first time in weeks that he'd felt in control, sure of what he wanted. All those fears and questions vanished the second his lips had touched Eggsy's, despite his hesitation. It had felt like coming home finally and that was…intense and terrifying, and pathetically romantic. – Was that the kind of man he was now? Romantic? Did he write sonnets to the colour of Eggsy's eyes or the way his lips curled beautifully in the corner when he smiled? It might go a way to explaining the décor, that's for sure.

He let out another low moan and pulled Eggsy closer, their bodies flesh to flesh, sparking a fresh and powerful bolt of arousal to shoot down Harry's spine. The kiss wavered between controlled desperation and delicate sweetness, and it was probably the best he'd ever had. – At least as far as he could remember. When Eggsy's hand slipped between them, finding its way into Harry's own underwear to wrap around his leaking cock, jerking between them, Harry couldn't hold back the gasp of pleasure or the lick of ferocious hunger that burst to life inside him. He released Eggsy's arse and lifted his now empty hand while breaking the kiss.

Harry lowered his head to suck another dark bruise into the delicate column of Eggsy's throat, his arm helping slid him off the table top.

"H-Harry?" Eggsy panted against his ear.

They stood on unsteady legs, pressed together mouth to hip. It had been such a long time since Harry had been carried away by the touch of another man. The last time he could remember clearly was the back of Mark Dugdale's Mini his first week at Sandhurst, what had ever possessed them to even try to have sex in that thing? Oh, right desperation, fear and the lack of anywhere else. Regrettably yet not unsurprisingly neither of them had gotten off and instead he'd spent the whole of the next two days with a pain in his neck and a bruise on his shin. – They hadn't went out again.

He pulled back, his eyes wide with surprise. So he had attended Sandhurst like Merlin said, and he'd fooled around with….

"H-Harry?" Eggsy panted, staring up at him with sudden concern and a smidgen of fear.

Harry shook his head, dismissing then sudden memory that had simply floated into the back of his mind. He'd think about at later, after…

"Harry?"

"Sorry I was…" he shook his head again, licking at his lips. "I just…want to…"

Eggsy gasped, his hips rocking forward with a moan. "Bruv…" he breathed, cutting Harry's off. "…I'm s-standing almost nak-ed in your fuckin' dinin' room, you fu-ckin better want to."

Harry smiled, his heavy-lidded gaze meeting Eggsy's equally affected one. "Bedrooms too far." He replied breathlessly.

Eggsy's eyes scanned off to the side, settling on the polished surface with a wide grin and a raised teasing brow. "Bin dreamin' 'bout despoil your precious dining table since the morning you made me breakfast." He grinned, turning his back to Harry and shoving down his underwear, displaying his bare arse.

"Despoil?" Harry whispered, amused.

Eggsy's took a moment, his breathing shallow and glanced over his shoulder. "I've….got all kinds of p-posh words _now_." he grinned seductively. "Like…intercourse…" he wiggled his arse back into Harry's torso. "Or…how'd you like…" dragging the tip of his tongue across Harry's lips. "…copulation."

Harry snorted a laugh, his fingers curling over Eggsy's hips. "I personally always preferred a simple _fuck_." He whispered, rocking his barely restrained dick against Eggsy's arse.

"Me too, so ya just gunna stand there all night?"

"You really want me to fuck you over the dining table?" he asked roughly, stretching himself over Eggsy's back, his hand reaching around to stroke him slowly.

Eggsy closed his eyes and thrust into his hand. "Yes Harry." He breathed and a feeling of familiarity fluttered in the older man's mind at the ton.

Harry swallowed thickly. "And what if I'd rather you fuck me, over the dinner table?"

Eggsy's head snapped around, eyes wide with a mix of surprise and excitement. "Do ya?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know."

" _Fuck_!" Eggsy groaned, wrapping a hand around the back of Harry's neck and pulling him aggressively down, his tongue thrusting forcefully into the older man's mouth. Harry inhaled though his nose and tightened his hold on the smaller body. Blindly Harry reached out with free left hand and yanking a chair back violently. Between the sharpness of Harry's pull and the clothes tangled around the chair's leg, the thing fell backwards and collided with the side table before toppling to the floor with a muffled thud.

Eggsy broke the kiss to stare around Harry shoulder, his eyes narrowing. "Watch it, Harry, that's an antique."

Harry raised a brow and stared down at the younger man. "Is it really?"

"You said it was like from the…nineteenth century or something."

Harry glanced over at the piece of furniture. "Early twentieth actually. It's a family heirloom, used to be…."

He was cut him off by Eggsy yanking his head back around. They kissed for a few more moments before Harry reached for his own underwear, shoving them down this thighs, watching as Eggsy watched him reveal himself with a satisfied grin and a wolf whistle. Harry rolled his eyes and kicked the cotton aside, then he gave Eggsy's arse a slap. "Keep that up and we won't be doing anything."

Eggsy grinned brightly, winking. "You keep that up…" he nodded nod at Harry's flushed dick. "…and we most certainly will."

"How do I put up with you?"

Eggsy chuckled and bent over the dining table, propped up on his elbows and wiggling his arse invitingly once more. "Wallet." Eggsy informed matter-of-factly.

"What?" Harry frowned, staring down at the smooth palm orbs that were just begging to be used. His hand print faintly tainting his left cheeks perfect surface.

"Condom's in the wallet." He nodded down to the pile of objects at the end of the table. "Don't have lube though."

Harry looked down at him for a long moment, thoughtfully.

"Bruv…" Eggsy panted. "I'm pretty sure we're both clean but…" he flushed. "…better safe than sorry. – Besides, it'll be easier t'clean-up."

Harry nodded and reluctantly stepped back, Eggsy whimpering at the loss of the man's body heat. "Don't move." He ordered as he hurriedly rushed the few feet to the end of the table.

"Where the fuck 'm gunna go?" Eggsy huffed dropping his forehead to the cold service.

It wasn't a long trip but it felt like he was trekking to Nepal. He grabbed Eggsy's wallet and rummaged between the folds until he found the silver wrapper, then dropped the leather unceremoniously and turned, rushing quickly out of the dining room and over to the downstairs toilet. Dropping into a crouch he yanked open the bottom drawer of the dresser and rummaged right at the back, grinning proudly when his fingers curled around a large curved bottle. He pulled it free and stared down at the electric blue gel.

"Harry, wha' the fuck…"

"Coming." He said, leaping to his feet and practically running back into the dining room.

"Where ya go?" Eggsy demanded, his eyes flickering from Harry's flushed face to his hand. "Did you run upstairs for that?"

Harry shook his head, hurriedly rushing back to join Eggsy. "Downstairs toilet. Back of the dresser."

Eggsy smirking up at Harry. "You sneaky bastard." Then his nose wrinkled. "You been bashing one off with Mr Pickles staring at you."

Harry glared at him then down at the lube. "No. – I just…"

"Whatever." Eggsy huffed dismissively. "I'm gettin' fuckin' cold here Harry, so…"

"Right." Harry nodded.

Harry ripped open the condom with his teeth then lay it aside. Eggsy sighed impatiently. "Stop, or you can go entertain yourself. Alone."

Eggsy snorted. "Don't act like ya doin' me a favour, Harry. You want this as much as I do. – Right?" he glanced over his shoulder nervously.

Harry swallowed at the sudden look of uncertainty on the blonds face. Smiling warmly he stretched himself over Eggsy and caught his lips, kissing all the apprehensively out of him. "More than you know, Eggsy."

Eggsy moaned into the kiss and rocked himself back against Harry.

With a satisfied breath, Harry straightened once more and opened the bottle, pouring a generous amount over his fingers, before setting it aside and sliding the digits down between Eggsy's arse cheeks. The man jolted with surprise, hissing.

"Could 'ave warned me! Fuckin' cold."

"Sorry." Harry whispered, rubbing soothing circles into Eggsy's lower back with his free hand while the fingers of his other worked their way slowly around the tight, puckered hole.

It felt like forever before Harry felt confident enough to finally breath, his heart fluttering at the sound of Eggsy's satisfied groans that only grew louder the further he entered. Harry was surprised at the lack of resistance from Eggsy's body and his heart leapt into his throat as he cautiously asked. "Have you…did you…?"

"I'm a man in his twenties who hasn't had sex in months, Harry, what do you think." Eggsy chuckled, shooting him a look over his shoulder. "And it gets lonely in that big shower of yours."

Harry inhaled sharply and pressed in a second finger, his eyes darkening at the thought of Eggsy's touching himself, fucking himself, in his shower. Mere feet from his bedroom. "Month's huh?" he grunted, thrusting deeper when Eggsy released a loud breathless moan of pleasure.

"Uh-huuuuaaaah."

"That's not what I heard." Harry whispered.

Eggsy's head snapped around, eyes wide. "W-what?"

"Merlin mentioned a…princess?"

"Fuckin' bastard!" Eggsy hissed angrily, slamming his forehead against the table.

Harry frowned. He hadn't meant anything by it. Sure he'd been jealous when Merlin had causally mentioned it weeks ago, but…it wasn't like they'd been…together, and Eggsy had thought he was dead. Which okay didn't make it better.

"I was high on the adrenaline and…I don't know, fucked up." Eggsy said to the table. "I thought you were dead, I guess I just…" he lifted his head and turned to look back at Harry. "I didn't have sex with her." He said firmly. "At least…not properly. I…." he shook his head.

Harry cut him off, leaning forward to silence him with a kiss that said it didn't matter. He didn't need to know. He let his fingers work a little longer but it was obvious that Eggsy had been thorough in his personal entertainment, so with a final stretch and a brief curl of his fingers against Eggsy's prostate, causing him to whimper, he pulled his fingers free and hurriedly reached for the condom waiting patiently for him.

He gritted his teeth as he pushed past the only slightly rebellious muscles, breathing heavily through his nose until he finally bottomed out and exhaled in a satisfied rush of air, his eyes fluttering closed for a brief few seconds to savour the feeling of Eggsy tightly wrapped around him. He gave them both a few minutes to adjust, his hand stroking up Eggsy's sides and kneading at his hips, bringing them even closer.

A white hot spark rolled through Harry and he tightened his fingers and slowly withdrew. When he was almost entirely free of leaner body he thrust back in, yanking the younger man backwards. Eggsy let out a loud groan of pleasure, arching his back.

"F-fuck _Harry_."

Harry grinned and repeated the motion. With each thrust Eggsy's moans got louder which only encouraged Harry to move faster and harder inside him. He could hear the table crying along with Eggsy as he kept up a frantic pace, sweat peppering both their bodies as he raced towards release. He knew he wasn't going to last long, whether down to age or the fact he was still recovering he couldn't be sure but he could feel his orgasm encroaching on him fast. Looking down at Eggsy, stretched out across the dark mahogany of his dining table, he reached around him, slipping his arm around his waist and pulling him up enough to wrap around Eggsy's heavy flushed cock. The dampness of his pre-cum easing the glide of his hand. With the younger man swearing up at storm every time Harry thrust violently, desperately into him, he knew he wanted to see him come first. Eggsy gasped, his back arching further and his fingers trying to find purchase against the polished wood and failing. Harry quickly found the rhythm, focusing more of Eggsy than himself, needing to see him break apart. "Come on, Eggsy."

Eggsy moaned, reaching out to claw at Harry's forearm before pushing himself up awkwardly to wrap his hand around Harry's neck and hold on. Harry's legs strained and he bit into the curve of Eggsy shoulder and rocked against him feverishly.

"Fuck, Egahhh…"

Eggsy slotted their mouths together, his tongue diving messily into Harry's mouth, his fingers curling into Harry's still too long hair, yanking on the strands, scraping at his scalp. Harry slid his other arm around Eggsy's waist, pulling him closer as he continued to strip his cock raw.

He felt Eggsy's climax was a thing of beauty. Harry felt it before he heard or saw it, the inner walls of the blonds body clamped down around him, a vice like grip as his already sensitive member, then Eggsy let out a rough deep groan, his head falling back onto Harry's shoulder, his fingers tightening in Harry's hair, pulling them impossibly close as his release painted a work of erotic art on the polished dark surface of Harry's table. The scent stealing Harry's breathe for what felt like hours. It was all more than enough, too much even and with a blink of an eye, as Eggsy came down from his high Harry was propelled into his own. Tumbling over a cliff he hadn't allowed himself to fall off of in far too long. Too many years without as much as a touch. – At least not one he cared about.

"Shit Harry…." Eggsy panted against the man's bare sweaty shoulder. "We should 'ave done tha' sooner."

"I can't agree more." Harry sighed wishfully.

* * *

 **A/N: Yes Eggsy's comment about Harry's kiss is a shameless nod to Bridget Jones, because I never knew hearing a posh bloke say Fuck could be so hot until that movie. – Though now I think it's just when Colin says it.**

 **Also this sex scene isn't what I originally intended. I'd wanted them to fuck on the sofa but well heat of the moment and the table was right there and much like Eggsy, I've wanted to despoil that table since I first saw Eggsy sitting at it. – Despite that being the most heart-breaking scene of the movie.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Another visit with Guinevere and once again I'll remind you I'm no psychiatrist and know nothing about post trauma counselling, I don't even know psycho-babble. This is all just basically Guinevere trying to get beneath that hard shell that makes up Harry Hart and get him to open up. Easier said than done obviously.**

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

 _The snow flutters down to settle on the sharp curves of the large mountain, the sunlight gleaming off the glass encasing it. Harry stared, his vision blurred and his breathing heavy as he watched the last of the small fragments float barely there in the water. A noise had him lifting his eyes from the globe to settle on a woman's face, blonde hair neatly pinned back, the warm light bringing out the hatred and disgust in her eyes. She stared back at him, the snow globe settled in her hands, held out to him. He looked at it again, it seemed familiar and important but he couldn't…he couldn't place it, couldn't figure out why._

 _"Ten. – Nine. – Eight." He heard himself say but his voice was muffled, like he was speaking through a wall. "Seven. – Six." His arm began to raise of its own accord and he caught sight of the weapon, the weight heavy yet comfortable in his palm, his finger twitching against the trigger. "Five." He fired twice, one in each knee, his eyes wide behind the mask. – He was wearing a mask? Yes. Blood began to seep from the two wounds in the woman's knees but she didn't cry out, she didn't even look, she simply kept staring at him, eyes fixed with his, the globe still steady in her hand._

 _Harry tried to lower the gun but his hand wouldn't move. He tried to stop counting but his lips were not his own. "Four. – Three. – Two."_

 _The woman's eyes narrowed, a smile stretching across her face as she flung up her arms. It all happened in slow motion, the arms moving higher and higher, the globe flying into the air before beginning to fall towards the sand covered ground, his finger once again tightening around the trigger. He held his breath as the back of the woman's head exploded, blood and brain matter landing in a familiar pattern on the floor, the same pattered he's seen around Eggsy's neck. He heard his_ _name_ _being yell._

" _Harry!"_

 _Then he was being pushed aside and a dark shadow rushing forward, hands out stretched. Harry stumbled and turned, suddenly disorientated. Once he straightened himself he looked up to find a man staring at him. Black glistening skin, dark eyes that seemed to be filled with a mixture of respect and anger. The red of his baseball cap almost as dark as the blood on his hands as they raised a gun to Harry's face, behind him chaos, people fighting, screaming, ripping each other apart. Harry could see his reflection clearly in the man's_ _glasses_ _, mask free and coating in blood that he somehow knew wasn't his own._

" _I guess this is that kinda movie." The man said, his voice low and rich, the American accent rolling off his tongue like syrup._

 _Harry frowned, opening his mouth to ask what the hell he was talking about only to be cut off by the man pulling the trigger. Harry_ _flinched_ _at the loud bang, too loud, not a gunshot more like an explosion. He turned sharply to find a cloud of dust. When it cleared there was a body on the ground, all dressed in back and his stomach dropped as he stepped quickly forward, eyes wide with pain as the face cleared._

 _He choked on the name, couldn't get it passed his lips as his throat closed up around each letter. He shouldn't be there, that wasn't right. Harry looked up to find Merlin and another man staring sorrowfully at him._

" _I'm sorry Harry." Merlin whispered._

 _Harry looked back at the fallen body, taking an unsteady step closer to him. Crouching beside the young man, reaching out with his blood covered hands but never quite touching him. His eyes scanned the body, moving along to his outstretched arm and to his open hand. Nestled in the center of it, safe and still in one piece was the snow globe._

 _Harry gulped for air, tears pooling behind his eyes as he felt a hand on his shoulder, heavy and warm, shaking him hard. He could hear a voice, distant and familiar but couldn't bring himself to take his eyes of the young man. Hands shaking as he finally touched his cold cheek only for the face to fade away, replace with another young man. "L – Lee?" he pulled his hand back sharply as if burnt. There was a sudden wave of relief that flooded painfully through him._

 _"Harry! – Harry!" The hand on his shoulder didn't stop, kept shaking him._

"Harry!"

He shot up in the bed, his heart pounding and head spinning, he felt sick and confused. There was still a hand on his shoulder and he turned to look at it, then up at its owner. "E-Eggsy?" he whispered as he focused on the face, concern etched across it.

"Whatsup?" Eggsy whispered, his hand still on Harry's shoulder.

Harry swallowed thickly, tearing his eyes away from the man. He threw back the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed and leant forward on them, his head falling into his hands as he tried to breath normally again. Eggsy's fingers brushed across his back, over the scar Harry knew was there from….

He leapt to his feet and rushed into the bathroom, he didn't bother putting on a light. He slammed the door closed and rushed over to the toilet, dropping to his knees. He retched violently until he finally brought up what little was in his stomach, the rancid smell burning his eyes and throat. The dream had been so real, so clear. The blood, the screams echoing in the background, the woman's head exploding in front of him, dead at his hands. – So many dead at his hands.

"Harry?" Eggsy called though the door, his voice trembling and panicked. "Are ya okay?"

He didn't call back a confirmation because he wasn't sure he was. Everything was so painful, his hands shook against the side of the toilet bowl and he gasped for air and squeezed his eyes closed only to force them open as Eggsy's lifeless face floated into his mind. It hadn't been Eggsy though, it had been his father, Lee. Lee Unwin. The man who'd saved Harry's life. And how had he repaid him? By dragging his son into the same world that had killed him.

"Harry if ya don't fuckin' answer me, I'm comin' in!" Eggsy snapped furiously only a split second before shoving the second door open and flooding the dark bathroom with light.

Harry flinched and groaned, wincing at the sound of rushing feet and jerking beneath Eggsy's touch. He didn't look up at the younger man, he didn't need to, he knew there would be hurt in his oceanic eyes.

"I'm callin' Merlin." Eggsy said, his voice alone confirming Harry's suspicions.

Harry opened his mouth to argue but nothing came out. He looked up through his lashes to watch Eggsy walk slowly, butt-naked out of the bathroom and his stomach dropped again, his chest tightening as tears pooled in his eyes.

 __Hartwin__

 _"I don't think this is a good idea, Robert." Harry murmured as he froze outside the tailor shop, his hand in the pockets of his leather jacket and his eyes staring up at the sign._

" _Why?"_ _the old mam_ _asked, smile on his face and brow raised. "I thought you wanted to follow in my illustrious footsteps."_ _he chuckled._ _._

" _I did. – I do, but…he'd not going to be happy."_

" _Luckily for you, your father doesn't get a say in it." He smirked, pushing open the door. "You're my candidate, Harry and I know you're going to make an excellent addition to our legacy."_

 _Harry inhaled. "What about my being….?"_

 _Robert raised his brow. "Yes?"_

 _Harry blushed. "_ _Uncle_ _Rob, you know he's going to bring it up."_

 _Robert laughed, waving his hand at the door. "We're going to be later Harry."_

 _Harry stared for another couple of minutes before taking a deep breath and making his way up the steps into the shop. It was exactly as he remembered it as a boy, George smiled at him as he followed Robert. "Hello George."_

" _Master Harry." The older man nodded._

 _Robert pushed open one of the_ _fitting_ _room doors. "Come on Harry."_

 _Harry hesitated in the doorway for a moment before stepping inside, closing the door behind him. Before his hand had even released the handle the floor beneath his feet began to shift, he turned back with wide nervous_ _eyes_ _– He wasn't scared, he was a Captain in her majesty's armed forces thank you very much. – to find Robert stood watching him. He reached out for the wall but that was moving too. Ascending around him. No, he was descending, the fitting room slowly vanishing above him. "Where are we going?"_

 _Robert didn't reply though, he simply took a seat on the leather chair and crossed his legs, pulling out a cigarette._

 _Finally the elevator stopped and they stepped off, Harry following his Godfather towards a small train a few feet away. "Okay, Robert, now I'm impressed." He said taking a seat opposite the man._

 _Robert grinned at him, wide and smug. "This is nothing." He huffed dismissively._

 _Harry grinned as the door close and the train began to move through the tunnel._

 _When they finally arrived Harry stepped out of the train and inhaled sharply at the sight that met him. Slowly he walked towards the large window, his mouth hanging open as he stared down at the vast hanger filled with vehicles of every description, people milling about between them, some in suits much like the one his Godfather wore and some in jumpsuits._

" _Told you." Robert laughed. "Come on, we'll be late. You can gawk later." He tugged on Harry's arm and he turned his body to follow, though his eyes never left the view._

 _As they turned the final corner in a maze of corners, Harry's took a sharp breath as he caught sight of his father, the man's eyes meeting his with the same anger and disgust he'd seen the last time they'd spoken almost two years ago. Despite the fight, despite the years of being ignored Harry couldn't help the way his heart clenched and that hope filled him, the hope that one day he'd make his father proud. There was still love in him, he just wished the old man felt it._

" _Galahad." Chester said as he approached. "What is he doing here?"_

 _Harry looked from his father to Robert, brows knitted at the nickname._

" _He's my candidate, obviously." Robert replied matter-of-factly._

" _You can't be serious?" Chester looked at Harry like he was a stranger._

" _Why not?"_ _Robert_ _challenged._

" _He's…"_

" _A legacy."_ _the old man_ _cut in. "Much like his father and grandfather. He'll make wonderful knight." He slapped Harry's shoulder hard with a proud grin. "Though considering he hasn't inherited you're pompousness." He snorted. "He might just out shine you."_

 _Chester looked at Harry, his eyes sweeping from head to toe before he huffed. "Well let's hope the army straightened him out." He sneered coldly._

" _Lancelot_ _._ _Shut_ _up. – Harry." He nodded towards an open door. "Make us proud son."_

 _Harry looked once again over at his father, watching the doubt dancing in his eyes and he felt his soul crash as he realized his father would never be proud of him, no matter what. – Then he'd damn well prove he was worthy. Nodding at his father and then at Robert, he marched into the room and took his place among the recruits._

 __Hartwin__

"What d'mean I can't see 'im?" Eggsy snapped furiously, glaring at the woman with murder in his eyes.

"Mr Hart needs some…"

"Harry!" Eggsy yelled. "He's not a fuckin' stranger. You know his fuckin' name! Call him _Harry_!"

The woman's cool professional mask slipped, sympathy seeping into her dark eyes. She took a slow deep breath and relaxed her shoulders. " _Harry_ …" she began again softly. "…needs time to adjust, Gal…" another breath. "Eggsy. He's struggling beneath the tidal wave of memories that are fighting their way back to the surface. He just needs space to sort through them."

Eggsy swallowed thickly, his eyes burning into the woman for a moment before dropping to stare at the grey concrete of the HQ infirmary. "How long?"

"I don't know, that's down to him. When he's ready."

Eggsy scratched the back of his neck and sighed. It had been almost two days since their night together, two days since Harry had woken him with an almost pained yell, sweat peppering his bare chest. – Two days since Harry kicked Dean's bully-boys to a pulp. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had triggered all of this. "Has he…" Eggsy licked at his lips and looked up at Guinevere. "…asked…at all?"

The woman's face answered him before her words did. "No."

Eggsy's shoulders slumped forward as pain speared though his chest like the woman had just thrust a javelin into him. He didn't know what exactly he'd expected, some kind of acknowledgement that they'd shared something. For Harry to be as desperate to see him as he was to see Harry.

But then…if the old Harry was fighting to return maybe…

Maybe he didn't _want_ to see him, because maybe he was still disappointed in him. Maybe he hadn't forgiven him for blowing his chance at Kingsman the first time, despite having earned his place since then.

Or maybe he'd never really been interested in Eggsy's like that. Maybe he wasn't attracted too him and now he felt ashamed or disgusted.

Tears began to burn at his eyes and he turned away sharply, clearing his throat. He hadn't had sex with Harry, not really. The man that had taken him apart on the dining room table two nights ago was a different man to the one he'd first met, to the man who'd given him a chance to change his life. They simply shared a body and a name. His stomach tightened, flipped and dropped all at once, a single tear slipping down his cheek. Which Harry had _he_ had sex with? That was a painful question. Who was he really in love with? The new free and open man who smiled and flirted and laughed or the uptight and proper gentleman who looked at him like he was fresh air in a sealed room. Who made him want to be better? – The man who didn't try to change him but rather offered him a chance to change the world.

"Eggsy?" Guinevere whispered, her hand settling on his shoulder. "If you need to talk."

He shook her off and straightened, shaking his head furiously. "You've done enough." he stated angrily.

"Firstly: I didn't do anything, it was all him." Guinevere said, her tone returning to its cold professionalism. "And _secondly_ : This was what _you_ wanted, remember. The old Harry back."

Eggsy stiffened at the reminder. She was right, he had wanted the old Harry back, but…that was before… - Now he had no idea what he wanted, who he wanted.

What he did know was that when Harry had last looked at him, it had filled him was a drowning feeling, like he'd lost him all over again. "I…" he inhaled slowly, letting the air leave his lungs in a rush and he swiped at his cheek. "I need to go…" he started to walk away before pausing down the corridor, he didn't look back he just spoke over his shoulder. "Call if he…"

"Of course."

Eggsy gave a sharp nod and marched away, his shoulders growing heavier with each step and his chest collapsing in on itself.

He marched into Merlin's office without so much as knocking, the older man swivelling around in his chair to meet him with his brow raised. "Eggsy?"

"I need something to do. _Anything_ , Merlin. Just…get me the fuck out of here, will you?" he growled.

Merlin sighed. "Gwaine's heading back to Istanbul, he'll need back-up?"

"When do we leave?" he demanded.

"An hour."

Eggsy nodded and turned, leaving the room without another word. Work was his best friend right now.

\\*_*/\\*_*/

Harry stared at her face, the familiar face that had been haunting him for the past two days. It was all slowly coming back to him and it left him cold to the marrow. He remembered the feeling, his own voice alongside Merlin's, yelling at him to stop but unable to do so. He could feel the blood still on his hands, the scent of burnt iron in his nostrils. He'd killed before, he remembered that now. Killed without batting an eyelid, killed and not so much as looked back with guilt but they'd been a necessity and he never killed unless it was to save a life.

He hit the screen of the tablet and let the whole thing play again, watched his hand raising the gun, watched the woman's head explode. His finger twitched with the memory of the trigger against it.

" _Harry_!"

He turned his head sharply towards the large metal door and inhaled sharply at the muffled yet clear voice of Eggsy shouting his name. He set the pad to the side and got cautiously to his feet. He hadn't spoken to the younger man since waking up from the dream, since the dam had broken. He couldn't even look at him and it felt awful. He could only imagine what Eggsy was thinking right now.

He pressed his ear against the metal, holding his breath.

" _I don't know, that's down to him. When he's ready."_

" _Has he…asked for_ _..._ _? - At all?"_

Harry pressed his forehead against the door, pressed his lips together hard, swallowing thickly. He could hear the pain in the young man's voice, the uncertainly and it cut deeply. Closing his eyes he took a breath, behind his eyes he could imagine the look on Eggsy's face, the same look that had been there the day he'd failed his final test, the last time he'd seen him before it all went to hell.

Pushing himself off the door, his shoulders straightening, he walked back to the chair, picked up the tablet and retook his seat. His fingers hovered over the screen for a long moment before finally tapping it and watching numbly as the chaos erupted around him.

 __Hartwin__

Harry tugged slightly at his trousers before taking a seat on the same leather couch he'd eagerly escaped not two weeks previously, crossing his legs he naturally let his body slanting to his left ever so slightly as he folded his hands primly into his lap and met the woman across from him head on.

It felt utterly different from his last meeting with Guinevere, knowing who she was and her background with the organisation set him at ease in a way he hadn't been before. Guinevere, aka Lucy Paterson-Quinn, was an Oxford educated psychotherapist who'd spent four years working with ex-service men and woman before being recruited to Kingsman five years ago. Harry had had dealings with her on occasion, though nothing like now. She was sweet when she wasn't sat staring into his soul like she could somehow see every crack. He could certainly appreciate what James had seen in her. He sighed regretfully as he waited for her to begin the conversation.

"How has your day been Galahad?" she asked gently.

He smiled warmly over at her. "I'm no longer Galahad. You'll have to call me Harry, and I've been well enough considering the circumstances, thank you Guinevere. And yourself?"

"Fine thank you."

Harry nodded and pressed his lips into a thin line, his eyes never leaving her for one second. When she said nothing, he straightened his back and broke the silence. "You asked to see me." He pointed out.

"Yes, Harry." She nodded, her full lips curling at the corner. "I have allowed you a few days before bring you in."

"I'm a most grateful."

"But we do need to talk."

They sat silently for a few minutes, Harry determined not to be the one to break it this time. While he appreciated the need for a councillor he was never overly comfortable speaking to her, feelings were not something that came easy to him. – And he knew why, he didn't need a doctor to tell him his lack of paternal tenderness and understanding was the root cause of his being detached.

He won the battle, just as he knew he would when Guinevere asked. "What do you remember, Gala...sorry, Harry?"

"Mostly everything." He replied calmly. "I do not remember the incident itself very clearly, just images but I do…I regret to say, remember the events leading up to it." He sighed. He'd been having nightmares about that day all week, the constant flickering images of his violent actions. The blond haired woman's head exploding a constant presence.

"That's only natural."

Harry nodded, glancing off the side in a nonchalant, blasé way that belied the punishing weight on his soul.

"You realize that the guilt is also natural." She said as if seeing past his mask. "Despite our work, despite your training…"

"I'm aware, thank you Guinevere." He interrupted sharply.

The woman didn't so much as flinch at his tone, instead meeting his gaze with her own hard won strength. "How do you feel, Harry?" she asked, and Harry wished he had his armour to shield him from her intrusive questions.

Harry shifted, clearing his throat. "Fine."

She stared at him disbelievingly, silent and strangely intimidating. Harry inhaled slowly, his chin raised. He wanted to fight against her intrusion into his conscience, stop her from seeing beneath the crack. He used to be good at fighting that war, whenever his private life came up. Whenever he was asked about relationships outside of the Castle, he was always so good at keeping silent. – And yet…

"I killed almost a hundred people for no other reason than they were there. How would you feel?" he snapped breathlessly, his heart beating erratically beneath his ribs.

"I'd feel awful." She confirmed with a nod.

"Then don't ask stupid questions."

Guinevere smiled. "Logically you know it wasn't your fault, don't you? You know there was nothing you could have done to stop it."

"I should have left sooner, the second I realised Valentine wasn't there." He stated matter-of-factly. "I should have kept closer to the exit. I should have expected it to have been a trap."

"You think it was a trap?" Guinevere frowned.

"Not for me in particular, no, but it was a trap. – I should have taken back-up."

"Why didn't you?" she asked gently.

"Because I wasn't thinking." He barked. "My head was…somewhere else?"

"Where?"

Harry pressed his lips together stubbornly, his eyes dropping to stain on the grey carpet. He knew what had almost gotten him killed, or more accurately who but he wasn't about to voice it.

"Harry?"

He remained silent.

Guinevere sighed. "Okay. – But even if you'd taken back-up, even if you'd left the church before Valentine's test, you may very well have been affected anyway. – And there's the fact that what happened in that church, saved lives. They're deaths were not for nothing."

Harry clenched his teeth. He could feel the woman's eyes burning into the side of his face, taking him in, reading him like a book.

"Of course, you already know all of this." She sighed. "That's not why you're feeling guilty, is it?"

He inhaled sharply.

"You know the sooner you talk to me, the sooner you can leave. – I'm just trying to help Harry." She said softly, her voice filled with genuine care.

Harry closed his eyes and took a breath. "I… - I…liked it. It felt good. I…I hated those people and part of me thinks they deserved to die." He didn't meet her gaze after that.

"They were hateful people, Harry. We all know that, we all felt that and it would be natural to want them to be punished for that hatred. - But that _doesn't_ mean you _wanted_ to kill them. – Harry. – Harry."

He forced himself to raise his gaze to her, his stomach tight and his back straight.

"Harry, you were as much as victim as the rest of the people in that church. You were merely defending yourself."

"I shot first."

Guinevere closed her eyes and inhaled. "I know. – But would it have turned out any differently if someone else had been the first affected, if that woman you shot had been the one to pull a gun? Would it?"

Harry didn't even need to think about it, he shook his head.

"Exactly, you're a trained agent and you would have walked out of that church one way or another, just as many of our operative did during that horrific time." She leant forward, her dark eyes meeting his. "Harry, you're not the only one having to deal with what they did, and just like the rest of the world, you will find a way to live with it." she promised.

Harry nodded. He knew she was right, he did and it wasn't as if those people were the first civilians to get caught up in the crossfire but it wasn't about the body count, not really, it was about the total loss of control and the pure satisfaction he'd received from the kills. It had been like nothing he'd ever felt in all his years. It was dark and seductive and soul destroying. How was he meant to get past that? How was he meant to forgive himself?

"Harry?"

"Are we finished?"

Guinevere sighed softly, smiling at him with understanding and warmth. "For now. I want to speak to you again."

"When?"

"Tomorrow. 11AM."

Harry pushed himself off the couch. "Very well. Thank you, Guinevere and goodnight."

"Goodnight Harry."

 __Hartwin__

 _"Don't think I don't know why you put that boy forward." His father said matter-of-factly from the two way mirror._

 _Harry inhaled slowly, his eyes closing for a few moments. It was the same old argument. The same old accusations. You'd think after fifteen years and too many scars, that his father would be over his prejudices, but no he would always see Harry as his biggest failing, a son unworthy of him, who'd never produce an heir to carry on their illustrious family name._

 _Of course they'd come to an impasse years ago, reached a kind of stale mate. Harry had stopped trying to win his father over and Chester stopped trying to make him…normal. They'd stopped being father and son, and were now just colleagues, it seemed to suit them both._

" _I put him forward because he's the best candidate. You saw his file."_

 _Arthur looked at him with a raised brow but said nothing, simply turning back to the recruits as they made themselves comfortable in the beds for the night._

 _Harry stared at his candidate as he pressed a kiss to a photo tacked to the wall and settled against his pillow. "You'll see, Lee Unwin is a worthy addition to the ranks. – He'll make us all proud."_

 _Arthur scoffed and turned away._

"Harry?"

He jolted at the sound of his friend's voice, turning away from the screen he'd been staring at the last twenty minutes. "Merlin?"

"How are y'feeling?"

"I've got a pounding headache. – But I'm…recovering." He said with a small smile. "Yourself?"

Merlin shrugged.

Harry sighed and switched off the video feed he's downloaded from the server.

"I see you've found your way back into the system?"

Harry smiled over at his friend as he strolled back to his bed.

"So you saw…"

"Yes." Harry sighed. "And you were right, he did what he had to do."

It had been hard watching his father be killed by Eggsy, harder still seeing him talking with Valentine. He never in a million years would have expected him to betray him, as well as the Kingsman. Sure they had never been close but to…hand him over to the megalomaniac, Harry didn't think he'd ever forgive him for that.

"We still don't know _when_ Valentine got to him." Merlin said regretfully, shaking his head. "But it must have been before…"

"He sent me to my death?" Harry nodded. "Yes." Harry slipped his hands into the pockets of his robe and perched on the edge of the window seal, looking out over the estate. "I shamefully regret that I noticed no scar during my last meeting with Arthur." he swallowed, looking up to meet his friend sympathetic gaze. "I don't know why I'm so surprised, I've never been anything but a disappointment to him, though I'll confess I thought he held enough affection for him as his son to _not_ have me killed."

"He made a secure phone call after you were shot, Harry. – I don't…" Merlin inhaled. "I don't thenk you bein' killed was ever the plan."

Harry smirked.

"I thenk Chester called him. Et's the only theng tha'makes sense, Harry."

Harry huffed humourlessly, pushing away from the window seat and turning to stare out at the view, shaking his head. "I wish I could believe that, Merlin. I really do."

"Harry, as much as you and Chester fought, he was still ya father and he never would 'ave wished you dead." Merlin watching his friends back for a few agonising moments before heaving a wary sigh. "Guinevere…" he said, changing the subject. "…wants to meet with you after lunch."

Harry nodded.

"I'll let her know." Merlin turned to leave, only to pause at the door and looked back at his old friend. "Eggsy's due back in three days."

Harry's back straightened and he took a slow breath. "Is… - How is the mission going?" he asked coolly.

"They've had a couple of mishaps but nothing either of them can't handle. – You were right about him Harry, he's a good lad."

Harry swallowed thickly, nodding. "Let me know when Guinevere's ready for me."

"Will do, Harry."

Harry waited for the click of the door before turning and falling down onto the cushioned window seat, is back pressed against the frame with a pained sigh, his shoulders slumping. It had been a week since Merlin had informed him Eggsy had requested to accompany Gwaine on his mission and in that week he'd had a constant weight in his gut, burning his insides like acid. A week of struggling to figure out where it was all meant to go from here, between him and his… - What? What was Eggsy to him now? What had he been before?

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you liked the flashbacks. As much as I love Michael Caine, I couldn't help but make him an asshole to Harry, because it's the only way to explain how he could sell Harry out, though considering that Valentine didn't kill Harry (at least in this fic) maybe he wasn't that much of an asshole.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Good morning, Harry."

"Good morning Guinevere." He smiled warmly while making himself comfortable on the couch.

"And how are you feeling?"

Harry's smiled faltered only slightly when he replied. "Well enough." He nodded. "Better than yesterday."

"Hopefully not as good as tomorrow." She replied softly. "Tea?"

"Thank you."

Harry watched her get to her feet and strolled casually over to the tray waiting for them. Things had got a lot easier after that first meeting, the tension he'd felt about talking to her had lifted subtlety, he didn't think it would ever completely vanish but at least he wasn't chapping at the bit to get the hell out of there. He tugged absently at his suit jacket and waited for the woman to hand him his tea. When she did he smiled his thanks and sipped at the Earl Grey with a relieved sighed.

"And the nightmares?" Guinevere asked, retaking her seat.

Harry exhaled slowly. "The same."

"Have you been keeping the diary?"

Harry nodded reluctantly. He hadn't wanted too, hadn't even attempted it for at least two days but after yet another dream of mass murder and Eggsy's death he decided to just try it. "I slept a little better last night but not by much."

Guinevere nodded. "It'll take time to really make a difference. – Are they still the same dreams?" she asked carefully.

He been reluctantly to divulge the information about the nightmares at first, much like with the diary, but then he'd remembered something his mother had told him when he was a little boy, how it always helped if you talked about it. He never told her about how it made him feel, at least not where Eggsy was concerned.

"Anymore thoughts about returning home? You've been doing a lot better and I think…"

Harry shook his head. "I'm not ready."

"Why?"

He pressed his lips.

"You've got to face him some time."

Harry swallowed thickly. "It has nothing to do with Eg… _Galahad_." He breathed, the name feeling odd on his tongue. "He's not even in the country."

"He's due back tomorrow isn't he?" She pressed, brow raised.

Harry shifted, leaning forward to set his cup and saucer on the coffee table. "So Merlin has said." He murmured, falling back against the cushions and staring off out the window.

"When he returns, then will you leave?" she asked with a calculating look and his spine stiffened.

The room filled with that uncomfortable, repressive silence that hadn't been there for days now and Harry hated it. He hated everything. It had all been so easy before Kentucky. Now nothing was easy, nothing was simple. Everything had gone tits-up and he had no idea how to fucking fix it.

He wanted to see Eggsy, desperately. He wanted to laugh and joke as they'd been doing the last few weeks, but he wasn't that man anymore. He was the old Harry again, the starched collar, suit wearing gentleman who was three _decades_ too old to be flirting and making a fool of himself over some young buck. It hurt, deeply, remembering what they'd shared and how much he'd wanted it. – Before Kentucky, he'd ignored the instant attraction he'd felt towards the younger man. He'd forced it back behind the thick wall of propriety and honour. It wasn't merely the fact that he was old enough to be his father, he owe a debt to Lee and he was more that sure Lee would not want him taking advantage of his son's caring nature and open heart, or his respect for him. – And he certainly didn't want Eggsy to feel he had somehow repaying Harry for the life he offered him. Making up for their cross words before he'd flown to his almost-death. No, nothing could come of anything that had happened during those few weeks Harry hadn't been himself.

But Guinevere was right about one thing, he couldn't keep hiding out at the castle, avoiding Eggsy indefinitely, especially after the conversation he'd had with Merlin about his future with the organization. Douglas was an excellent man, and an even better knight, but he was built for the field not for command, something the slightly younger man would agree with.

"Harry?"

Harry shook his head again. "I'll think about it." He murmured, desperately hoping that the conversation would end there. He should have known better.

"I hear from Merlin that you may be considering replacing Douglas as Arthur?"

Harry looked at her sharply. "That was meant to remain a secret until I'd made up my mind."

Guinevere smiled brightly. "He wanted my 'medical' opinion on whether you were ready for such a responsibility so soon after your…trauma."

"And you said?"

"I said, only time will tell. You seem to have slipped seamlessly back into your old self and while you may continue to feel the effects of what happened, you're no less traumatized that the rest of us. - I'm certain that you'll make us all very proud." She grinned, tipping her head to him respectfully.

Harry nodded at her, a soft smile tugging at his lips. "I…thank you."

They fell silent for only a few seconds before Guinevere's attacks on his psyche started again. "And I'm sure Eggsy will be happy to hear the news."

He looked at her unimpressed and sighed. "You're not going to drop the subject, are you?"

She shook her head. "I wouldn't be doing my job if I did."

"May I remind you, you're not a marriage councillor, you're here to keep us…?" Harry froze the second he realized what had slipped from his mouth.

"Please, go on?" she pressed, barely hiding her smirk.

He took a deep breath and got to his feet. "I have…"

"Shit down Harry, you're not my boss yet."

Harry froze by the door but didn't turn to regard her, he simply stopped and stared at the wood longingly.

Guinevere continued anyway. "Do you feel you and Galahad need…counselling." She said too happily.

"It was a slip of the tongue." He remarked defensively.

"You know what Freud said about those, don't you?" she snorted.

"Freud thought everything was about sex."

"Just because he's the father of psychoanalysis, doesn't mean he wasn't a little crazy." She laughed lightly. "Please sit down Harry."

He sighed and reluctantly retook his seat, his lips a thin line before he spoke again. "Are you all crazy?"

Guinevere lifted a perfect brow at him. "The whole worlds crazy, Harry. It's merely a case of degree, - and whether you're willing to admit it."

Harry rolled his eyes and reached for his cold tea.

"So, are you going to answer my question? Do you and Galahad need to be counselled?"

"No." he replied sharply.

"Are you sure? You wouldn't be the first couple I've had in here."

"We're _not_ a couple."

Guinevere stared at him disbelievingly. "Are you sure?"

Harry growled at her. "Yes."

Guinevere settled back into her leather chair and watched him for a long moment as he cradled his cup but didn't move to drink it. "Harry, name two of his closest friends?" she asked seemingly out of nowhere.

Harry jolted slightly. "What?" when she didn't repeat the question, simply staring at him he sighed. "It depends." he murmured. "His oldest friends would be Jamal and Ryan, but I believe Rox…Lancelot is the person he's closet too at the moment. Besides myself."

Guinevere nodded thoughtfully. "And…what is his favourite why to spend an evening?"

Harry glared at her and pressed his lips in a firm line, refusing to continue answering.

"If you answer just a few of these questions for me, I'll let you leave. – So?"

"It would probably be sat on the couch with a Chinese. Are we…?"

"His favourite colour?"

"Blue."

"His birthday?"

"You already know that, it's in his file. - Along with most of this information. This is completely irrelevant."

"Humour me."

Harry rolled his eyes. "6th September 1991."

"Favourite sports team?"

"Millwall."

"Favourite side of the bed to sleep on?"

"Left" Harry answered before he even realised what he was saying and cringed inwardly at the unconscious confession, because he shouldn't know that. He looked up to find Guinevere looking back at him, her eyes soft, not a trace of smugness in them.

Harry took a deep breath, his eyes closing as he crumpled forward into himself, his elbows resting on his knees. He rubbed at his face before dropping his hands and staring down at the carpet. "It can't happen."

"What can't?" she asked cautiously.

"Us. Eggsy and…I."

"Why?"

Harry shook his head. "Too many reasons."

"Like?"

He glared up at her angrily. " _Like_ , I'm fifty and he's just turned twenty-six. _Like_ , I owe his father my life. _Like_ I'm going to be his boss. – _Like_ , he deserves better."

"Don't you think that's down to him?"

He shook his head. "He's young, he won't understand. This is all still an adventure for him."

"Don't you think you're being hard on him? He's not a child, Harry."

"Compared to me, he is."

"Is that what's really stopping you? The age gap?"

He pressed his lips into a thin line. "I'll be in my sixties in a few years and seventy just as he's reaching his best years." He sighed. "I'm too old."

"Are you, or are you just scared?"

Harry bristled at the accusation.

"I know your history, Harry. I've read your file. – I know you've never had a serious relationship and that your father disapproved of your sexuality. I also know that you've been hiding within these walls a lot longer than just a couple of weeks. It would be understandable to be nervous after so long."

Harry got to his feet, thankful that this time Guinevere didn't try to stop him as he marched towards the door, his jaw clenched painfully tight.

"It does need to be resolved, one way or another, before you take up the position at the table." She announced firmly as he lingered by the door. "He deserves the choice Harry." She added as the man stepped frustratingly over the threshold, the door closing with a loud bang.

 __Hartwin__

Eggsy slumped against the warm leather of the plane's seating all too ready to get back on British soil. He felt wary in a way he hadn't felt ever, like every part of him was suddenly off-line and the restart button was missing. He could have easily closed his eyes and never opened them again. Around him the plane rumbled to life and began to taxi down their small abandoned runway, and he sighed, glancing over to Gwaine as he did so. The man's glasses hung from his fingers as he closed his eyes and relaxed. "You're going to sleep?" he asked, watching the man fully settle into his seat.

"Of course." Gwaine smiled, cracking open one eyes. "You should do the same, it's a long flight and we've had a hell of a ten days."

Eggsy shrugged, shaking his head. As wary as he was, as god-damn bone tired, he wasn't ready to face the dreams that had been haunting him over the past week and a half. – No, it had been longer. Ever since he'd woken up to a terrified looking Harry. – The work had been a thankful distraction but behind his closed eyelids there was nowhere to hide from the pain of Harry rejection. "I think I'll start on my report, at least then I won't 'ave to hang around when we land."

Gwaine huffed at him before finally folding his glasses and setting them on the small table before making himself more comfortable in the seat.

Eggsy pushed himself out of his seat once he was able and strolled over to the desk and the Kingsman computer. He logged and just stared at the screen, the blank report template staring back at him. Dragging his lower lips between his teeth he let his shoulders slump and groaned, slouching down against the leather.

His mind was a mess, the knot in his stomach tightening by the second. What if Harry still didn't want to see him? He certainly hadn't called to find out how it was doing? But then, why would he? – Perhaps he was ashamed of what had happened between them. He could imagine that of Harry.

Or perhaps he hated _him_ for taking advantage of his tormented state of mind. Angry that he had let things go so far when he knew Harry wasn't himself. – Maybe Harry wasn't interested in him like his…younger self was. Harry certainly hadn't given any real indication that he was, that had been why 'young' Harry had been such a breath of fresh air. He was going to miss that, the flirting, the ease, the laughter.

Swallowing thickly he sat forward and opened a private message, his fingers shaking somewhat as he typed quickly. **ON OUR WAY HOME.** He sat patiently staring at the words, knowing they wouldn't get a reply.

He left the message board open and flipped back to the report and set himself to the task of writing the report Percival and Merlin would demand of him once he'd stepped off the plane. It didn't take him as long as he would have hoped, a little over an hour, Gwaine snoring peacefully behind him. With the report finished and sent to Merlin, he lingered in front of his screen uncertain what to do now. Wishing he had something else to distract him. "We could really do with having a game console on here." He grumbled out loud.

" _Too distracting."_ Merlin's voice said in his ear. He'd become so used to the glasses that he on occasion forgot that he was wearing them.

"Games are great stress relievers." He huffed.

" _So is sex but you won't see me sending out hookers with the retrieval teams."_ Merlin replied matter-of-factly.

Eggsy soured at the joke, his brows knitting as he stared at the computer screen with a heavy sigh. He didn't even consciously make the decision to hack into Harry's computer, his fingers just kinda found their way to the keys.

He smiled sadly to himself as he slipped past the security. He didn't know why Harry had trusted him with his password, hell he didn't even trust Merlin with it. Frankly, Eggsy didn't understand alot about that day. Harry had been so angry and disappointed in him, and yet had insisted that he remain at the house until he returned. He'd told him to make himself comfortable, to help himself to food. He'd promised to be back soon and then they'd fix it, and all said with the same cold disappointed look on his face. Then as he was about to step over the threshold he turned to Eggsy and told him the top secret password to his computer. His only explanation, " _Watch how the grown-ups do it_." Then he'd left. Twelve hours later Eggsy had been sat at his desk watching Valentine pull a trigger.

" _Maybe you should get some sleep."_ Merlin said in his ear, pulling him from his thoughts _._

"Yeah, maybe."

Eggsy looked around the plane, glancing over at the still peacefully unconscious Gwaine then back to the computer. He wanted to ask after Harry but he knew there was really no point, he'd just get the same answer he'd gotten before, that Harry was doing well and was on the road to a full recovery. – Of course he'd only asked once since he'd left the Castle on his mission, the cold matter-of-fact answer being too painful to hear again. Since then it had just been work, work and more work.

" _Galahad_ _?"_ Merlin murmured, softly.

"Yeah, Merlin."

" _Get some sleep. That's an order."_

Eggsy sighed warily, his eyes stinging as unshed tears began to pool in them, blurring his vision. The smooth contours of a young, boyishly handsome harry hart little more than colour and shapes. He swallowed back the lump in his throat and closed down Harry's secure personal drive, where Eggsy had discovered during his long uneventful hours in Harry's office, the man's personal photo collection.

Reluctantly pushed himself out of the chair he stretched his back and exhaled an almost pained sigh, dragging his hand down his face. "Yes, Merlin." He murmured thickly and stepped back over to join Gwaine, forcing his body to relax. He reached for the decanter and poured himself a large scotch, throwing it back without so much as a though to the consequences or the hangover.

He drank until his eyes grew heavy and his body could no longer fight off the exhaustion. The glass still in his hands as the abyss closed around him.

 __Hartwin__

Harry stared at the message on the screen, all thoughts of work vanishing from his mind as his heart began to race suddenly. He'd spent the last forty-eight hours reading over the reports of the last few months, all he'd missed, trying to avoid thinking about Eggsy, or what Guinevere had said to him, which was surprisingly difficult. Despite the young man's name never actually appearing in print, every time his old codename appeared in black on the page, he saw Eggsy's face, imagined him achieving his goal. – Remembered the feel of his lips and his skin and the way his body felt pressed against his own, skin warm and blanketed with sweat.

Harry inhaled slowly through his nose and set the tablet down, his head dropping into his hand as he covered his eyes. He was running out of time, Eggsy would be back before too long and he still had no idea what he was going to say or do. – He'd thought he had it all figured out, he really did, then of course he's spoken to Guinevere and now he was in turmoil again.

She was right of course, he needed to have everything sorted out between him and Eggsy before he took on the mantle of Arthur; he just wasn't sure how he was meant to achieve that. Every part of his brain told him he had to end whatever had started between him and his young protégé, before they got hurt any further. He couldn't be Arthur and be with Eggsy, that much he knew. It would undoubtedly put in him difficult positions, unwilling to risk the younger man when the time came. He had to keep the priority of life intact or what good was he?

But his heart, that small part of him he'd lost over the years and had been reawakened with a bullet to the head, screamed for him to not give up this chance. Possibly his _final_ change. He wasn't getting any younger, didn't he deserve to finally be happy? Didn't the world owe him that much after everything he'd done?

Lifting his head, he pushed himself out of his chair and strolled over to the window, looking out over the estate, the trees still holding on to their greenery like it would disappear forever. The sky thick with cloud, yet the sun determinedly breaking through in places, chasing away the dull glare of autumn as it fought to claim the land. Harry slipped his hands into his pockets and sighed.

The world owed him nothing; that was the truth of it. He'd known when he'd accepted his godfather's offer that it would mean sacrificing any chance at love. – Of course, back then he hadn't honestly believed that was a dream he'd ever be allowed. It had always been a matter of choice, Queen and country or life as an outcast, living in the shadows of a world still clawing its ways into the light.

 _Not being with him won't change anything._ Hisheart whispered hauntingly _. You'll still care for him. Still want to keep him safe and alive. He'_ _ll_ _still be the last thing you think about at night and the first thing you think of in the morning. Your heart will still skip a beat when he smiled at you – If he ever smiles again. – And you'll always remember the feel and taste and scent of his skin for as long as you_ _live_ _. So why torment yourself? Why continue to deny yourself happiness?_

Harry clenched his jaw painfully and closed his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose again, trying to calm the pounding of his heart and the voice in the back of his mind. "I'm too old. He deserves better." He told himself quietly.

"You're only as old as the man you feel."

Harry spun around to glare furiously at Merlin, hovering in the doorway of the large study Harry had been hauled up in for hours. "Don't you knock anymore or have you been spending too much time with Eggsy?" He snapped.

Merlin shrugged. "I knocked, not my fault you didn't hear me."

"You are meant to wait for me to call _Enter_."

Merlin raised a dismissive brow. "I thought you did." He murmured before marching forward. "Thought you'd like to know Galahad and Gwaine are on their way back."

"I know."

"Oh?" Merlin's brows rose innocently, which meant he wasn't at all innocent.

Harry sighed and stalked back to his seat. "I'm still waiting for that report on the Americans and has Kay been in contact yet?"

Merlin stared at him evenly. "You're not Arthur yet, Harry. - The reports in your email and Kay isn't due to check in for another hour. I'll let you know the second he does."

Harry nodded, picking up his tablet and flicking to the report he'd been waiting on. "Thank you Merlin." He dismissed, only for the other man not to move an inch. Harry lifted his gaze. "Is there something else?"

"Eggsy." Merlin stated flatly.

Harry sighed. "What about him?" he feigned returning to work, though his eyes couldn't focus on the words.

"Don't push him away, Harry." He warned. "The lad can't take et and I'd rather not 'ave t'replace em so soon."

Harry closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping. "What do you expect me to do, Merlin?"

"Are you asking me as my so-to-be boss or as my friend?"

Harry shot him a tired and somewhat pleading look "Both."

"Well in that case, as ya colleague I'd say, there are no rules against interpersonal relationships among agents, as you well know, as long as it doesn't affect the job…."

"How can it not?" Harry murmured, lowering himself warily into the chair again, slouching back against the leather.

"Both you and Galahad are dedicated professionals. When push comes ta shove ya both do what's right and screw the personal consequences. – He refused ta shoot an innocent creature, Harry, because he knew et wasn't right an' he put his grief aside over ya supposed death to save the world."

"I don't know if I can make those same choices." He sighed. "I shot the dog, what does that say about me, hum?"

"Et says you put ya own feelings for the ones ya love aside ta do wha' needs ta be done. – I hate ta go around quoting TV, Harry, but you are two sides of the same coin."

Harry frowned at him confused.

"Forget, just believe et's true, alrigh'."

Harry silently stared at the tablet in his hands for a few minutes, just watching the letters on the screen staring back at him. "And as a friend?" he asked quietly.

Merlin smirked. "As a friend, I'll say – you've let Chester ruin ya god damn life for too long an' here's a chance ta finally 'ave a life, ya've earned it, an' frankly Eggsy couldn't have asked fa a better sugar daddy." He laughed.

Harry glared unamused. "That isn't funny Merlin."

"True though. – Harry, ya almost die in Kentucky, most people would see thes as a second chance ta fix the mistakes they'd made of their lives."

"My life isn't a mistake." He corrected sharply.

"You go home ta a stuffed dog, a loo full of butterflies and a study wallpapered with events ya missed." He watched his old friend closely, taking a single step forward. "Can'ye look me en the eye an' tell me the last month with Eggsy hasn't left ya wantin' more of ya life? If ye'can then I'll never speak of et again."

Harry looked up at his friend, eyes locked and mouth open. – Silence. Nothing came out, not so much as a squeak, because Merlin was right, the past month with Eggsy had left him wanting more. He wanted to wake up to the sight of Eggsy fluttering around the kitchen as he made morning tea and fed JB. He wanted to curl up on the couch after a stressful day saving the world with Chinese and a movie. – He wanted to wake up with Eggsy every morning and go to bed with him every night.

"He'll be back en four hours." Merlin announced into the thick silence, his feet the only sound to follow his words as he headed out of the room, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts.

* * *

 **A/N: This was meant to be the final chapter but it go too long, so they'll be one more.**

 **Also I got the relationship questions off a quiz I looked up online called How Well You Know Your Partner. I got it originally for a McDanno story but surprisingly it came in useful here. I'm sure a few people will argue the answers I gave, particularly his date of birth as it seems to be a bone of contention among fans, but I'm going from his personnel record where it's clearly stated as the 6/9/1991 which as this is England translate to the 6th of September as we put dd/mm/yy. And I figured out Eggsy favourite football team from the scarf that's hanging over his long mirror in his bedroom. The rest I made up.**

 **I plan to have the next chapter up soon. Thank you all for reading and the wonderful reviews you've all been taking the time to write me. I really appreciate it.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Okay everyone, I hate to say this, but here's the final chapter. I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

Eggsy exhaled shapely as the Kingsman plane landed and let his fingers curl into the arms of the chair he'd spent the last four hours in. His back ached and his head was beginning to pound like he'd gone two rounds with Dean but none of it compared to the uncomfortable, almost agonising pain in his chest and stomach.

He didn't know what he was really all that worried about, it wasn't like Harry would want to see him. Hell Eggsy wasn't even going to ask after him, he'd made that decision two hours ago. He was just going to get off the plane, walk calmly through the Castle, collect his dog, get on the bullet and head home. – A home that wasn't really his. He was going to have to move out. He'd realised that too. He was sure he'd find somewhere small in London, it wasn't like he couldn't afford it, until then he'd just stay with his mum.

The door to the plane slowly lowered and Gwaine was heading for the exit double quick while Eggsy remained seated, unwilling to leave because the second he did, the second he stepped off the plane he was going to have to face the fact that everything he's spent the last month building with Harry was really gone. Over. Finished. Their friendship with it, because there was no way he'd be able to look Harry in the face now and not want it all back again.

He was sat there for what felt like hours before the pilot shook his shoulder gently. "Sir, we've landed."

Eggsy nodded, shaking himself out of his thoughts and slowly, incredibly slowly getting to his feet. Taking a deep breath he took careful steps towards the exit and then froze when he found Merlin stood at the bottom of the steps, an impatient look on his face.

"I thought for a minute they'd left you behind."

Eggsy sighed, shaking his head. "Nope, Galahad, present and accounted for." He took the steps reluctantly. "I assume you got my mission report."

"I did."

"Good, then I can fuck off home. Bye Merlin." He strolled straight past the other man, his back straight and his head high, feigning all the confidence and nonchalance he wasn't feeling.

"Galahad, hold up. You're not finished here yet."

Eggsy's shoulder instantly slumped and he groaned, stopping. "Merlin, I've had a fuckin' awful two weeks and I want to just go home, taking a shower and sleep." And by sleep he meant drink himself into a stooper because that's the only way he can sleep now apparently.

"Well I'm afraid ya're just gunna 'ave to rethink those plans. Arthur wants to speak to you."

"Can't I meet with him tomorrow?" grumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

"No. He's out on the terrace having tea." Merlin informed him matter-of-factly before marching away.

Eggsy closed his eyes and held his breath, counting to ten in his head before he turned and followed the older man.

He took the lift up to the ground floor and made his way warily though the huge house towards the large reception room and the French doors that lead out to the terrace. He'd barely taken three steps towards the doors when he caught sight of a familiar mass of amber brown hair through one of the windows and his heart leapt into his throat. "Dammit Merlin." He whispered to himself. "Why must you…?"

" _He's expecting you."_ Merlin said in his ear and Eggsy growled, reaching up to rip his glasses violently off his face.

Taking another deep breath while shoving his glasses into his pocket, Eggsy watched Harry through the glass. He seemed fine, perfectly at ease, his head bowed as if he were reading. He chewed on his lip for a few seconds before gathering his courage. He'd never been scared of anything, he allowed nothing and no one to intimidate him. He was a fuckin' Kingsman.

Squaring his shoulders he slowly made his way to the open French doors, the view beyond beautiful. The sun high-lighted all the greens and yellows and autumn brows perfectly, not that Eggsy cared about such things. Harry didn't look up, so Eggsy pressed his shoulder against the frame of the door and just watched the man read the paper in his lap, his heart hammering in his ears while the blood raced through his veins hot and thick.

Harry looked good, better than the last time he'd laid eyes on him and dressed in a suit. It was obvious he was back to his old self, a realisation that left Eggsy with mixed feelings. The stronger of which was grief.

"How was Istanbul?" Harry's voice broke the silence, startling Eggsy.

He straightened only slightly and took a breath. "Hot. As usual."

Harry nodded understandingly but didn't look up at him, his eyes still fixed on the paper in front of him for another few minutes before he made a show of folding it carefully. "I understand you ran into trouble."

"Nothing I couldn't handle."

"Never doubted it." Harry smiled, finally turning to meet Eggsy's eyes as he held out the paper to the younger man.

Swallowing thickly Eggsy took a step forward cautiously, reaching for the paper like it was a bomb ready to go off. He couldn't help the way he snatched it out of Harry's hand the second his fingers tightened around it. Looking between the item and Harry, who simply nodded and turned back to his tea, he flipped it over to see the front page. **BUS DRIVER'S 26 KIDS WITH 9 WOMEN.** "What's this?" he frowned.

"For your collection." The older man replied coolly. "Tea?"

Eggsy smiled sadly down at the newspaper, swallowing back the pain in his throat. "H-Harry…" he whispered before clearing his throat and straightening his back again. "Okay, I get it." He stated, proud that his voice didn't shake half as much as his body was.

"Get what?" Harry frowned up at him.

"You don't 'ave to worry Harry, I won't make this uncomfortable or embarrassing for either of us. I've already decided to move in with mum until I can find somewhere and you won't be the first bloke I've had to face in the morning and pretend nothing 'appen, I'm not gonna make a scene or nuffin'. We'll just forget any of it 'appen, easy." He wished it was that simple. He stared at Harry unflinchingly, his gaze holding strong despite the way his chest felt like it was caving in. Harry simply met his gaze with a confused frown, his brown eyes searching Eggsy's. "Of course…" he grumbled, something even more painful occurring to him. "…you won't 'ave to pretend because you don't remember." He snorted a derisive laugh. "Of course you don't remember, fuck it. Shit." He growled. "Okay, I'm gonna go and pack my bags and… _bye_." He turned to leave only to be stopped by Harry's hand on his arm, the fingers clutching at the navy pinstripe.

"Eggsy I…" Harry paused briefly. "Can we take a walk?"

Eggsy looked back over his shoulder at the older man, noticing for the first time the dark shadows beneath his eyes and the paleness to his skin. "Have you been sleeping?"

"Walk."

Eggsy stood torn for a few agonising moments before sighing. "Okay."

Dressed in their winter coats, the pair made their way through the extensive grounds of the Castle in silence. They walked past the main gardens and into the woodland that surrounded the large estate, which was usually used for evasion training, before Harry spoke.

"Douglas will be returning to his seat as Percival."

Eggsy looked up at him sharply. "What? Who's replacing him?"

Harry gave him that look he'd used so often before Kentucky, the look that said Eggsy should already know the answer.

" _You_?" he gaped. "You're going to be Arthur?" he grinned.

Harry turned his focus back to the path ahead of him, his umbrella swinging back and forth as he walked. "Douglas doesn't feel ready for such a large role."

"And you do?"

Harry shrugged. "I was always expected to replace my father at the head of the table, despite his reservations."

Eggsy lowered his head, watching his feet crush the few fallen leave that had already decided to bow out. "I'm sorry Harry. About…"

"It's alright Eggsy." He said softly, squeezing the man's shoulder. "You did what was needed. Besides it was self-defence."

"I know that, but…doesn't make it right that I killed your dad."

Harry sighed sadly. "Chester and I had a…tempestuous and volatile relationship at the best of times. Believe me, it's no great loss."

Eggsy frowned. "He was _still_ your dad, Harry."

"You never would have believed it." Harry grumbled, staring off absently. "He spent the last thirty years making my life miserable." He sighed.

"How?" Eggsy pressed before shaking his head. "Sorry, none of my business."

"Its fine, it's not like it's a huge secret around here. – He never supported my...life choices. I was born into a generation and world were homosexuality was still illegal. I spent most of my early years…"

Eggsy blushed. "I know." That spark of jealousy sizzling to life once again, just like it had the first time Harry had told him about his early relationships. – If they could be called that. "But I figured you must have, ya know, made up or sumthin' seein' as ya a Kingsman."

"We came to a silent agreement once it because obvious that I was going to make it through, he stopped being my father and I stopped being his son, at least until I saw fix to straighten up and marry a nice girl." He snorted.

"That's fucked up, Harry. – Though, at least he didn't beat seven bells out of you."

"Physical wounds heal, Eggsy and when they do they make your skin stronger." He shot the younger man a meaningfully deep look. "What my father did…" he shook his head. "I was an orphan with a parent." Silence stretched between them for a few minutes, the sound of their feet and the birds and wind the only sound until Harry was ready to continue. "The worst part was, it took me years to come to terms with that. I kept thinking that if I worked hard, became the best agent Kingsman had, I'd _earn_ his respect. - And I did." He murmured. "But I lost myself along the way."

Eggsy watched the man closely, in the warm sunlight breaking through the trees and with a melancholy on his face Eggsy had never seen in his life, Harry looked younger, not by much but younger, more valuable. Eggsy's hated it, it left a cold feeling in his soul. Harry was the strongest man he knew and it was somewhat terrifying to see a broken man beneath the suit. He wanted to reach out and touch him, wanted to kiss the pain from his features and tell him that everything was alright, that he was there to keep the nightmares at bay. – Hell he'd already killed the dragon, right?

But he couldn't say or do any of those things because Harry didn't remember what had happened the past few weeks or if he did, he didn't want it to lead to anything. It was to be forgotten, to be brushed under the carpet until someone else moved in and ripped it all up. And that was agonising to Eggsy, so he did the only thing he could do, he buried his feelings and his hands deep and ignored it all.

"Do you know how many people I've been with? Not including official Kingsman work of course."

Eggsy looked at him with what he hoped was an intrigued yet cool look. "Alot?" He shrugged.

Harry drew to a sudden halt, turning to stare down at him with a raised brow. "Alot? Is that what you think of me, Eggsy?" he snorted.

Eggsy's shoulders jerked again, his eyes on anything but Harry. "Have you seen you? I can't imagine you not beating them off with a stick." He tried to laugh, brush it off as a casual question between two friends. – If they _were_ friends.

"Three, yourself not included." Harry answered, his weight resting on his umbrella and his eyes never once leaving Eggsy's as they shot up from the grass, wide with surprise and a little fear.

"Y-you're shitin' me?" Eggsy laughed softly. "Wait, you…r-remember?"

"Every second." Harry whispered.

Heat infused Eggsy's faces and he dropped his gaze for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before returning them to Harry when the old man continues to speak.

"And no, I'm not _shitin' yo_ u." He said softly, turning to continue walking, confident Eggsy would follow. "There was Simon…" he began, cool and calm and as if he was informing Eggsy of a mission rather than his own past. "We met at school, snuck around a little." He shrugged, a small smile pulling at his lips. "It was never serious, couldn't be. He left six months later, transferred to another school."

Eggsy's heart tightened as the sad regretful look on the older man's face. "How old were you?"

"Fifteen. – I suspect someone informed his father."

"I'm sorry Harry." And he was, despite the jealous spark it ignited in him.

"Thank you. I didn't allow myself to get close to anyone again until Sandhurst. Mark…" he laughed softly, shaking his head. "Complete disaster. Rugby star, top cadet, total closest case. – Of course we all were back then, no poofs allowed in the army in those days. Heck, we were barely accepted in society in general." He murmured, shooting Eggsy a poignant look. "Not like it is now, couldn't just pick up handsome young me in a bar, or outside police stations, and take them home." Harry smirked. "Even when the laws were relaxed, there were still a ton of obstacles, it was like they hadn't changed the laws at all." He shook his head, disgusted.

Eggsy flushed at the reminder of their first meeting, or second as the case maybe and cleared his throat. "How long were you two together?" he asked out of pure curiosity. Despite the weeks they'd spent together and all he'd learnt about Harry's likes and dislikes, his taste in music and movies. About his parents and his family, of which there were few, the man rarely spoke about his personal life.

"Depends on your definition of _together_. Two months if you count the flirting and occasional drunken snog in dark alleys. One night if we're merely going from the physical aspect. – It all ended after a disastrous night in the back of a mini." He scoffed.

Eggsy's hands curled in his pockets and he bit his lip against the overwhelming sense of jealousy. "Oh. Sorry." He said dutifully, though he wasn't sorry at all. "And the third?"

Harry faltered in his step only slightly, no one would notice, no one except Eggsy who paid far too much attention to his mentor. The older man's head lulled forward with a wary sigh, his shoulders slouching. "The third…" he said so quietly Eggsy almost missed it. "Andrew McGillis, two years my senior, an investment banker I meant doing recon for a mission in New York."

"An American?" Eggsy almost sneered.

Harry shook his head. "No, he was there on business, as I was." He smiled.

That acidy feeling settled in Eggsy gut again and he dropped his gaze. He knew it was irrational to be jealous of Harry's past affairs, or…loves, but there was a possessive part of Eggsy, a little tiny corner of his soul that wanted Harry to belong to him and him alone. – Who stupidly wanted Harry to say he'd never loved or wanted anyone until Eggsy?

"We were together two months." Harry continues, oblivious to Eggsy's suddenly dislike of the subject matter. "Of course my father hated it, kept saying that I was putting Kingsman and my career in danger." He scoffed. "Like I was the only knight to be in a relationship. I ignored him, of course, I wanted some semblance of…normality. I probably should have…" He draw to a halt and turned to Eggsy. "That was almost two decades ago and I've been with no one since it ended."

Eggsy nodded, swallowing thickly but keeping the mask in place. It didn't take a genius to understand what Harry was saying. He'd met and lost the love of his life and he wasn't looking for a replacement. "Message received loud and clear." He grumbled out loud.

"What?" Harry frowned, startling Eggsy.

"I…I said, I get it. Wot your tryin' to say."

Harry leant heavily on his umbrella again. "And what exactly _am_ I trying to say?" he frowned.

"That you're not looking for anything. Ya don't 'ave to worry Harry, we can forget it happened. I'll move out…"

Harry sighed, shaking his head. "Eggsy, a gentleman allows their partner to finish what he's saying before commenting."

Eggsy glared up at him. "I didn't realise this was fuckin' lesson Harry!"

"Life is a continuous lesson, you should remember that."

Eggsy rolled his eyes and took a few steps back, leaning his back against a thick oak tree, his arms folded over his chest. "I heartily apologise, _Arthur_ , please do continue." He said, turning to the proper Queen's English like it were a shield.

"A gentleman also does not sulk." Harry grumbled, the sting of his newly gifted code-name lingering against his skin as if it were a slap. He sighed and turned his back on the younger man for a few moments, pacing. When he finally turned he picked up his speech where he'd left it. "It ended badly. It's practically impossible to carry on a relationship when you have to lie to your partner at every moment. When you vanish for days on end and can't tell them where you've been. When you can't share the most intermit details of your day with them for fear they'll learn the truth." He exhaled almost angrily.

Eggsy swallowed. "Others' seemed to make it work." And he really doesn't mean that to sound like an accusation and thankfully Harry seems to know that.

"Those that do, either were married before they became Kingsman, like your father,…" he smiled warmly. "…and already have an established routine or they meet through the job, attaching themselves to those who are already acquainted with Kingsman, like Lancelot and Guinevere."

Eggsy frowned. "Rox is…"

Harry rolled his eyes. "The previous Lancelot. James."

"Oh." Eggsy nodded. "Livin' up ta the legend, huh?"

Another eye roll from Harry. "But even then…" he continued solemnly. "It doesn't work out, it's the curse of our lives that ultimately we'll end up in a body bag and our loved ones will be left to mourn us with no real idea why. – As you know all too well."

Eggsy lowered his head, remorsefully. "Yeah, that was probably the worst part for mum, the not knowing why or where." He shook his head. "But…" he inhaled slowly, gathering his courage to face this head on. " _I'm_ not my mum, Harry. I know what I'm getting into. – I've lost you once and I survived, I can do it again, if need be." He practically pleaded, pushing himself off the tree but not moving closer. "But that isn't an issue anymore because you're gonna be Arthur, a nice safe desk job, so…"

Harry met his gaze head on. "And what about _you_?" he demanded. "How am I meant to survive anything happening to _you,_ Eggsy?"

Eggsy stared, eyes wide as saucers, his mouth gapping and his heart racing. "Me?"

Harry shook his head, turning his back on the younger man, unable to look at him a second longer. "There are so many reasons why we can't be anything more than friends and colleagues, Eggsy. I'm too old for you."

"So? People date older men and women all the time, it's not that big a deal."

"It is when it's three _decades_ older!" he snapped, glancing briefly over his shoulder.

"Harry…" Eggsy sighed. "

"And there's the issue of your father. I owe him my life."

"And you repaid him when you got me out of the nick, Harry. Anything you did after that…" he shook his head furiously. "That's on _you_."

"I'll _never_ be able to repay him." Harry argued.

"Jesus Harry!" he growled, opening his mouth to argue only for the older man to talk over him.

"And I'll be your boss which means I'll be in charge of where you go and what you do and I can't do that job if we're together, I won't be able to send you into life and death situations…" he shook his head. "My feelings will affect my judgement and that can't happen. Priority of life must be maintained."

Eggsy watched him intensely. Who exactly was he trying to convince here? "So you're just gonna stop caring about me?"

Harry nodded.

"So we're never going to speak again? You're never going to share a pint with me? You're never going to even look at me?" he pressed.

Harry frowned over his shoulder. "That's not…"

"Yeah, it is." He took a step closer, his eyes not leaving the older man's. "You won't make decisions any differently whether we're together or we're _pretending_ to be just friends." He said with faux confidence. He could very well be completely wrong about everything, he could be reading between the wrong lines but if he were, then well…it wouldn't change anything, but if he was right, if Harry actually wanted him as much as he wanted Harry, pushing might just change _everything_. "You'll still worry about me, still fear that I might die. – You'll still take those things into consideration when revising possible missions. Together or apart Harry, you can't stop wanting to _protect_ me any more than you can stop…" he swallowed thickly, praying he had this right. "… _wanting_ me?"

Eggsy's watched him, his heart thundering like a race horse at Ascot, his whole body trembling nervously, praying he hadn't been wrong, praying that what was between them went deeper than one night. That it wasn't _all_ one sided.

\\*_*/\\*_*/

Harry inhaled sharply at the declaration, his eyes locked with Eggsy's, burning into one another's soul, the truth of the words ringing between them loud and haunting, like a horn in the foggy night. His head spun, round and round till he felt like any moment he was going to lose his balance, Eggsy's words screaming in his head. He tore his gaze away eventually, lifting it to the trees and sky above him, his heart beating so fast he almost feared for his life. It felt ridiculous, feeling terrified after decades of facing death, but then hadn't someone once said that death was easy, it was living that was hard. And that was what Eggsy was offering, whether he realised it or not, a life. Something away from the chaos and death. Didn't he deserve to have what most of his friends and colleagues had? What his parents had had.

He swallowed thickly at the thought of his parents, a faded memory of a family that had been happy once, before his mother's tragic death, before his father's heart turned to ice, before he'd realised he wasn't going to be the man they'd be proud of.

"Harry?" Eggsy whispered softly in front of him. "Say _something_."

Only he wasn't sure what to say, he'd spent so long avoiding relationships. Things with Andrew had never been easy, not solely due to the secrets and the lies, he'd never really allowed himself to want more than their sporadic dates and heated sex. He'd always somehow believed he wasn't allowed it, the peace and comfort of a home life. It would be easy to blame that on his father's dismissive attitude and prejudice but the truth was, it was something in _him_. He'd never felt like he belonged anywhere, or to anyone. Guinevere had typically said it all came down to his traumatic childhood, after all seeing your mother rundown in front of him at the tender age of six and then being shipped off to boarding school before her body was even cold, it had understandably left scars.

Obviously in hindsight and with the knowledge that came from being a Kingsman agent, he knew that what had happened to his mother had all been retribution for his father's work, his many years away had been for his own protection, and part of him respected his father for that maybe even forgave him. It was just a shame he could never truly accept Harry for who he was, maybe if he had Harry wouldn't be so scared now.

He heard Eggsy exhale a long breathe and the rustle of grass and leaves had Harry raising his head to see Eggsy moving away from him. Instinct and fear took over and he reached out, snagging the younger man's arm. Eggsy met his eyes with wide blue surprise and Harry swallowed thickly.

"Harry?"

"I…" he inhaled. "Eggsy you need to understand." He meet the blue eyes pleadingly, his fingers lose around his bicep. "I can shoot, take twenty men out single handed without breaking a sweat. I can fly a plane, drive a tank and jump off cliffs without a parachute. I'm a spy, I've been a spy half my life." He smiled softly. "But underneath all of that, I'm just an ordinary man who wants an ordinary life."

Eggsy chuckled, taking a step into Harry's personal space. "Are you aware you're quoting My Fair Lady at me, right now?"

Harry frowned thoughtfully. "Am I?"

Eggsy nodded, still laughing as he moved even closer. "And you know how that ended right? After the posh professor pulled the gutter snip off the London streets."

Harry found himself smiling, despite the continued inner turmoil, but then Eggsy always had a way of doing that, switching a solemn moment to something high and filled with sunshine. "I think I recall vaguely that he fell completely in love with her." Eggsy visibly relaxed with a relieved exhale and Harry felt the tightly wound knot in his gut loosen, he let his umbrella fall from his hand as he raised it to cradle Eggsy's head, his mouth descending to be eagerly met.

Harry staggered beneath the force of Eggsy's desperately hungry kiss until his back hit the tree, he groan more out of surprise than pain and slid his arm around the younger man's waist, pulling him closer. He ground his hips and grinned when Eggsy's mirrored the movement back at him, recalling how well they fitted together. Eggsy's hands that had been curled possessively around the lapels of Harry's jacket, loosened and slid up to encircle the nap of his neck instead.

He gave himself over to being thoroughly kissed by his young protégé, his nails clawing lightly at the fabric of the young man's navy pinstriped jacket and whining when Eggsy broke away and looked up at him with swollen lips and a beautifully curved smirk.

"This betta mean you've come to ya fuckin' senses Harry, cause if ya still gunna dump me after that…" he panted. "I might jus' kill ya."

Harry frowned. "I'm still your boss, Eggsy."

Eggsy smirked. "I've never been all that opposed to fuckin' my way ta the top." He winked.

"Is that all I am to you, a means to an end?" Harry grumbled.

"It is a pretty fuckin' sick end." Eggsy laughed, reaching around to squeeze Harry's arse while he used his other hand to pulling him down for another in-depth exploration. When he pulled back again they were both panting heavily, and rock hard. "Now if ya've finished tryin' to convince yourself that we can't be togetha, can we get the fuck out of here 'cause I've had a hell of a week and I'd really like some S&R."

Harry leant back, brow arching questioningly. "S&R?"

"Sex and relaxation." Eggsy clarified as if Harry should have known already. "Emphasis on the _sex_."

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes at the younger man while reaching down for his umbrella. "We'll have to deal with the complications eventually."

"Guv, we live a life where every day could be our last, fuck the complication." Eggsy announced dramatically, turning and marching away.

Harry rushed to catch up with him in a perfectly respectable and gentlemanly manner and the pair walked shoulder to shoulder back to the house, Eggsy whistling happily while Harry's finger threaded easily through the soft blond strands of Eggsy's hair. Eggsy smiled up at him as they approached the house and harry ga e into the temptation that had been haunting him since the day they'd met and stole a warm lingering kiss.

Eggsy hummed then pulled back to look into Harry dark eyes. "I'm glad your back Harry."

\\*_*/\\*_*/

Merlin was hovering by the bullet with JB at his side and a clipboard when Eggsy and Harry arrived. Eggsy dropped into a crouch to greet his dog while Harry spoke to Merlin.

"Schedule the table for first thing Monday morning."

"Already dun." Merlin nodded. "I'll assume you're off the grid until then."

Eggsy got back to his feet and gridded brightly at the older agent. "Thanks Jez." He chuckled, carrying JB into the train and impatiently waiting for harry to join him.

"Don't call me that." Merlin growled. "Never."

"You know where I'll be if it's an emergency." Harry said following after Eggsy with a laugh.

The younger agent winked suggestively at Merlin and moved to join Harry when man sat opposite rather than next to him.

Merlin rolled his eyes and groaned. "I think I preferred it when you two were still basking in mutual denial." He huffed. "And if you get anything on those seats I'll make you scrub the damn thing."

Eggsy's grin grew wider and he purposefully shifted closer to Harry as the door slid closed.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **A/N: And that's it. It's done and it really couldn't have been if it weren't for the help of my wonderful fellow writer LilyAnson, who helped me when I was struggling to give this a reasonably satisfying ending. She's been awesome, as have everyone at the SWSG on Facebook. Thank you all for the support.**

 **I'd also like to thank everyone who spent their hours reading this and reviewing. – And for all the kudos and faves. I really appreciate it beyond words.**

 **I apologize for the crappy attempt to write Merlin's accent, I know it irritated at least one person.**

 **That's it from me for now. I hope to be back with another Kingsman fic at some point but till then, I'll just say again. THANK YOU.**

Gatergirl79 signing off.


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